


The Dark of You

by Jetsetlife138



Series: What Lies Beneath [2]
Category: IT (2017), IT (2019), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: BDSM, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Breeding, Brutality, Clowns, Dark Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hand Jobs, Human Form, Human/Monster Romance, Lemon, Licking, M/M, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn With Plot, Reader-Insert, Sex Pollen, Sexual Tension, Smut, Strong Female Characters, Tentacle Monsters, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Violence, Violent Thoughts, reader - Freeform, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2020-10-14 15:26:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20603057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jetsetlife138/pseuds/Jetsetlife138
Summary: Part Two of the What Lies Beneath Series.After enduring a life-changing transition, you wake up 27 years later with no recollection of how you came to be. The only tie to your past is your mate, who just happens to be an immortal Eater of Worlds. That is, until people start to show up from your past and help jog your memory. The more you start to remember, the more Pennywise's wrath begins to unravel.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Read Part One: What Lies Beneath before proceeding! 
> 
> This work contains spoilers for IT: Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp... I'm back.
> 
> The beginning chapter is just kind of a warm-up. The book won't completely follow the story line of IT: Chapter Two, but a handful of scenes will tie in. It will be a very similar concept to the previous book in the series. 
> 
> Strap in! You're in for some fuckery.
> 
> Thank you to my amazing, beautiful, and wonderfully talented beta, meganxmarie for reading over my trash and making it legible.

Memories are a fickle thing. They only exist for as long as you can hold onto them. Sometimes you’re able to recall them at a moment's notice. Other times, they’re set aside, long forgotten, until some kind of recognition sparks your recollection and it all comes back to you like puzzle pieces fitting together.

Trying to hold onto the memories of your life while you slept was like trying to catch smoke. The more you tried to keep them close, the more they seemed to escape you. They were quickly replaced by animalistic urges that you couldn’t quite understand, and yet, somehow it felt right. 

What you once referenced as emotions were now something else entirely. Similar to feelings, but now it was deeper - consuming your very soul… if you even had one. Fear, anger, longing, grief, and so much more were circulating through your internal system, triggering a carnal need to act on your urges; to satiate them in any way possible, consequences be damned. 

Something was prodding at you - a thorn in your side so to speak. It was gnawing at your subconscious telling you to collect yourself and to become alert. Flashes of foreign images crept into your mind that were drawing you in, making you want to investigate. Violence, blood, fear, distress - a perfect concoction for your ideal situation, one that you desired to immerse yourself in. 

A tingling sensation crawled across your skin, distracting you from your beautiful dream. It wouldn’t cease, causing you to stir, pushing the images further and further away in your subconscious. You wanted to chase them - to relish in them like snuggling under a warm blanket, but as soon as you felt you had a grasp on them, they faded, and you began to regain consciousness. 

Your eyes flickered open, focusing on your dark surroundings. The air around you was thick and humid with a staleness you found yourself enjoying. The sounds of droplets of water verberating off of the stone walls around you mixed with the whistle of wind making its way through the cracks in the foundation of your underground den were like a haunting symphony, calling you back to life. 

“You’re awake.” 

A voice like silk beckoning you back to life cut through the air, making your entire body shiver with desire as you turned to address the alluring sound. 

Staring back at you were two beautiful blue eyes shining brightly in the darkness, the edges crinkled from the grin adorning his face. There was a certain sinister gleam in his eyes, but also a longing that you could feel in the very depth of your body, calling out to you with a desperate need. 

This was familiar to you. The absurdity of it all was alarming, and yet comfortable. The creature that stood before you brought back feelings that you had not only recognized, but also delighted in. However, the word escaped you. There was a name for him - a category that he had fit into that you couldn’t put your finger on. 

As you continued to struggle to place him, odd feelings crept into your mind that didn’t feel like they belonged given your current situation. Wickedness, lust, hunger, and just a genuine giddiness that consumed you to the point that you couldn’t help but feel calm and placated as you strained to remember how you knew this being. 

You noticed by his expression that he was determining the reason for your hesitation. That’s when a word started ringing through your mind repeatedly. 

_ Mate. _

Realization washed over you like a tidal wave, forcing the air out of your lungs as you released a breath that you didn’t realize you were holding. You lifted yourself from the bed, your bones cracking with stiffness as you stretched out your limbs, aching from being still for such a lengthy period of time. 

In an instant, you were in front of him, trembling slightly as you lifted your hand to run the soft pads of your fingers along the red line etched in his skin, running from above his brow line down to his lips. Your fingertips lingered on his pillowed lips as your eyes searched his. They were blazing back at you, changing from blue to golden and back to blue in the blink of an eye. 

“Pennywise.” The name fell from your lips like a song, so fitting and so right. 

Before you could stop yourself, you lifted your heels to enable yourself to reach his face as you pressed your mouth against his in an urgent, needy kiss. His tall stature made it difficult for you to reach him, so you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, to which he obliged happily. 

Your tongues toyed with each other as you relished in the flavor of him - sweet and bitter all at the same time, and so deliciously familiar. You couldn’t recall how you met or how you came to be, but one thing was for sure… you ached for him, and clearly he felt the same. 

Bright red suddenly fogged your vision, enveloping you in a need to follow it and harness whatever harm followed it. You broke the kiss ,somehow immediately sensing that Pennywise had the same inkling to chase after the high that was calling you elsewhere.

He smirked at you, extending his gloved hand out to you, which you took without hesitation. Allowing your mind to lead you, your body morphed to travel through the air on another plane of existence, placing you directly where you had sensed the overwhelming brutality occurring. 

The stench of fear and hatred was overwhelming, mixing together like a cocktail that you wanted to gulp down and savor. Taking in your surroundings, you had emerged on a riverbank. Looking up, you had noticed a bridge adorning the river, which also revealed a gathering of a small group of humans - the source of what you were craving. The smell of blood was heavy in the air, hitting your senses like a freight train. Your initial reaction was to investigate further, but your mate gripped your wrist tightly, spinning you around to face him. 

A low growl rumbled deep in your chest at his audacity to stop you when you were preparing yourself for a hunt, but he didn’t seem fazed as he crept low to the ground, mentally requesting that you do the same. 

Internally debating with yourself, you decided that he seemed to know what he was doing, and you should follow his lead. Lowering yourself into the brush alongside the riverbank, you stood still, looking to your mate for your next move. “Stay,” was all he uttered before slithering away like a snake further up the bank closer towards the bridge. 

Moments later, a large splash echoed under the bridge, followed by shouting and jeers from the humans. You looked closer to see that the majority of the group had scattered, leaving behind one man who was very visibly upset and calling after whatever had landed in the water. 

Focusing your attention, you saw a man struggling in the current, feeble and weak from his interaction with the others. His partner continued to cry out to him from the bridge, screaming, “Adrian” at the top of his lungs. You could smell the blood from the wounds of the man called Adrian. who was now floating down the river, headed in your direction. 

Movement in your peripheral vision had distracted you, drawing your attention to a lanky figure approaching the river. It took you a moment to realize that it was Pennywise. He was skulking around the brush, climbing on top of a rock above the water right where the suffering human was being swept towards. 

Pennywise extended his arm towards Adrian, who was struggling to stay afloat due to his injuries. Your mate’s eyes were beaming a yellow glow that glimmered under the night sky. He bared his teeth as Adrian got closer and grinned with malevolence when he finally made contact and gripped the helpless man tightly before the current could take him away. 

You watched with fascination as Pennywise hauled his unsuspecting victim out of the river, draping Adrian’s arm over his shoulders for support. Adrian’s partner was shouting at them from the other side of the river, a mix of relief and concern on his face as he watched helplessly from the opposite bank. 

Pennywise smiled at his prey’s worried partner from across the way, his lips splitting his face into a malignant expression before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his jaw unhinged wide enough for his multiple rows of teeth to jut out and rip into the chest of the battered victim hanging from his shoulder.

The scent of blood, fear, and despair was overwhelming as you ached to join your mate, trying to keep yourself planted as Pennywise swallowed down the flesh, winking at his victim’s partner as he shouted for help, not yet coming to terms with his lover’s fate.

In a fraction of a second, Pennywise was standing before you, still holding the bloody corpse in his arms. Saliva started to spill down your lips and over your chin at the sight of his organs, now shredded to ribbons beneath his ribcage, still warm with life. 

Your mate dropped the remains in front of you, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth in an attempt to clean up the blood, only to have it smeared more dramatically across his painted face. “Feed,” he instructed. 

Not having to be told twice, your teeth jutted forward, elongating from your gums in multiple rows of sharp, jagged fangs. You tore into the flesh easily, fighting the urge to moan as the flavor of his fear and agony lingered over your taste buds. 

By the time you had finished, all that remained were a few fragments of bone and clothes. Licking the blood from your lips, you glanced up at Pennywise, whose pride and adoration could be sensed inside your mind. You stood up, coiling your fingers around the fluff of his collar, pulling him closer to you. “Thank you,” you murmured, nuzzling into his chest. You had noticed that your voice was raspy and hoarse from not speaking for such a prolonged period of time, but you were quickly distracted by the way his silky apparel caressed your check. It felt soothingly familiar, igniting more images that sped through your mind in uninterpretable fragments. 

The sound of his voice brought you back to the present, interrupting the thread of memories that flicked in and out of your mind. “Come with me,” he urged, taking you by the hand and leading you up the river towards the bridge. 

Unsure of why you weren’t leaving the scene of your slaughter and going back into hiding, you followed your mate, confident that he knew what he was doing. Though your mind was scattered, there was one thing you felt in the depths of your spirit… and that was how much you loved this creature. You would follow him anywhere, regardless of where he was leading you. 

The thought comforted you as you approached the underside of the bridge next to one of the large pillars constructed for support. Pennywise turned to you and said, “You might feel this,” before revealing his elongated claw on his pointer finger. He dragged the sharp end along his wrist, cutting his flesh open until blood started to seep through and raise into the air. 

Moments later, you hissed in pain, staring down at your wrist to see that it had been cut into. The wound was identical to the one that Pennywise had inflicted onto his own skin. He then gripped your arm gently, inspecting the gash in your flesh as your own blood dissipated into the air. He grinned at the sight before his eyes flickered to yours and remarked, “We’re connected.” 

You swallowed thickly, not entirely sure what that entailed, but you were sure that it wasn’t entirely a good thing. It was already obvious that the two of you were mentally connected by the way you could so easily read him and interpret his thoughts and feelings without having to speak, but to know that your very life-source was linked together was something else entirely. 

Sensing your distress, he leaned into you, kissing your forehead gently before dipping his face into the crook of your neck, nibbling softly and littering your skin with love bites. “You’re not in any danger,” he promised, whispering against your chilled flesh. “We are eternal. We are the Eater of Worlds. Nothing can harm me, and in turn, nothing can harm you. You are safe with me.” 

Something about his words rubbed you the wrong way. Part of you knew that he wouldn’t ever hurt you, and you could feel the power that lay dormant within the both of you. Yet, another side of you was bothered - as if you knew how ruthless he really was and that his tenderness wasn’t a common occurrence. You couldn’t determine the reasoning behind your uneasy feelings, but you tried to push those thoughts to the back of your mind, knowing that Pennywise would be able to sense your troubled thoughts. 

Leaning away from you, he placed a gloved hand over your bleeding wrist and with a swipe of his hand, you were healed. He smirked at your bewilderment before taking his other hand and doing the same action over his own wrist. 

Still confused as to what his purpose was for all of this, you remained silent as he brought both of his bloodied hands to his lips, one hand containing your blood, and the other containing his. With a wink in your direction, he aimed at the large brick pillar and blew into the palm of his hands, causing the blood to lift from his gloves and glide through the air and onto the pillar. 

“W-what are you doing?” you asked, hesitantly. The sound of your own voice startled you. Something about it was off - more light and also more sinister than you could remember. Though, to be fair, you couldn’t remember much of your life at all before your rest, so you could have been imagining things. 

As the blood started to gather and take shape on the stones, Pennywise’s expression changed to one of resentment and bitterness as he stared at the blood, willing it to form into what it was that he wanted. 

His lip curled as he answered you, spitting out the words with a venomous bite. “Sending a message.” 

Bemused by his response, you were startled by the overwhelming sense of hatred circulating through his mind. Wondering who could have been the cause of his animosity, you noticed that the blood had finally finished taking shape. Glaring back at you were two subtly profound words that repeated three times down the length of the pillar, beckoning Pennywise’s foes. 

** _COME HOME_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler: Clown sex. Brace yourselves.
> 
> You can thank my beta, meganxmarie, for helping me sift through some shitty ideas to make a decent chapter.

The hunger surging throughout your body had been temporarily satiated from your meal by the river. However, you were still feeling restless. Unable to determine the reasoning, you curled up into a ball on the cold cave floor with your arms wrapped around your legs while your head rested on your knees in a feeble attempt to calm yourself. 

A quiet tension fell between you and your mate ever since you had teleported back to the cave. It bothered you that you couldn’t recall your life before your long rest, and you knew that Pennywise could sense your unease. 

He crawled over to you, emerging from the darkness, his movement similar to that of a spider. His eyes reflected in the dark like a wild animal as he approached you, concerned thoughts echoing in his mind. With a gloved hand, he reached for you, running his thumb along your chin before placing a finger underneath it, and lifting your face to meet his. His other hand nudged your arms out from their position wrapped around you and he parted your legs so that he could nestle himself in between them, pressed close against you.   
  
Your fingers trailed over the poof of his collar and down the silk of his chest, wringing your finger around the red ball of fluff near the top. “Remove these,” you demanded. 

Without hesitation, Pennywise’s dirty garments disintegrated, leaving behind a human body. That is, apart from the large appendage raised prominently from his groin. Raking your nails lightly across his skin, you explored his body with curiosity, as if it were the first time you were seeing it. “Let me see you,” he requested, his voice husky with lust. 

Even though you could have easily removed your clothing with a snap of your fingers, you enjoyed the sweet torture of making Pennywise wait while you stripped off your clothing, one piece at a time. 

You particularly enjoyed the way he literally salivated over the thought of you. Drool spilled over his bottom lip as you inserted your fingers under the straps of your bra, playfully running your digits beneath the fabric back and forth, earning an eager growl from your mate. 

Giggling, you relented and pulled them down, unhooking the back and letting it fall to the floor. Just as you went to tease him the same way with your underwear, Pennywise whipped his hand out, sharp talons exposed, and ripped the fabric right from your body. 

Rather than being shocked by the action, it only spurred you on as slickness gathered in your core at his aggressiveness. He opened his jaw to expose his sharp fangs while a long, thick tongue darted out and lapped at your collarbone, working its way down over your chest and across your breasts. He teased your nipples with the surface of his wet, rough muscle, making you groan and reach forward to grip his hair in between your fingers. 

His hands began to trail over your stomach, lower and lower until he reached your thighs. He silently beckoned for you to part your legs with an internal thought, to which you eagerly replied, bending your knees slightly to brace yourself for whatever he was going to do to you. 

While his tongue continued to lick and tug on your breasts, his fingers began to lengthen and lose their stiffness, turning into wriggling tendrils. He shoved his fingers into you, sensing that you enjoyed a little rough play, making you whine as his digits slithered deeper inside of you. 

“You like that,” he commented, smirking at the way his skilled fingers made you come undone. 

“Yes,” you gasped against him, grinding down onto his fingers. “So much. Mnph, keep going - please,” you begged, needing more friction. 

His fingers made a swirling motion, making your knees buckle beneath you. He placed his arm around your waist, holding you up as he worked his tendrils inside of you, exploring every surface, prodding at every nerve that made your body quiver. “Such a needy thing,” he drawled, still working his magic. “Oh, how I’ve missed the noises you make. Tell me, my love… what is it that you crave?” 

Your nails were digging into his shoulders now, drawing blood as they pierced through his flesh. “Y-You,” you cried softly, leaning into him and mouthing at his shoulder while you continued to grind on his digits. “It’s you, I need you.” 

He hummed with satisfaction as he quickened his pace in addition to sending wavelengths of mental pleasure through your internal connection, causing your whole body to tremble with ecstasy. 

It didn’t take long for you to finish, biting down on his collarbone as you climaxed, your cervix throbbing against his tendrils as he continued to move them, coaxing out every last bit of pleasure he could. 

Still, it wasn’t enough. The moment he removed his tendrils and they returned to human-like fingers, you tackled him, knocking the breath out of him as you fell to the hard ground. Kissing a trail down his chest, you felt his curiosity build in his mind. You tried to mentally block your intentions so as to avoid spoiling what you had in store for him. 

He bared his teeth when you finally reached his cock, wrapping one of your hands around it and giving it an experimental squeeze while you inspected what you had to work with. There was a tiny tendril squirming from the slit in the top, aching to find a hole. Along the thick, long shaft were peaked ridges and nubs that moved continuously, vibrating slightly. 

You marveled at the sight, anxious to feel him inside of you as you bent down and licked the tendril, allowing it to coil around your tongue before sinking down onto his girth. His talons ripped through the skin of his fingertips and tore at the ground as he released a low growl at the unexpected sensation. 

The vibrations of his pulsating dick soothed your throat as you took all of him effortlessly in your mouth. A distant memory of something called a gag reflex crossed your mind, but apparently, you didn’t have one as you easily reached the bulbous end of his shaft, unhinging your jaw and taking his sack into your mouth as well.

Pulling back, your tongue stretched and wrapped around his length, licking while you sucked your way up to his flared head. Swirling your tongue around the head, you continued to pump him in your hands, using a strong grip, which he seemed to enjoy by the way he rutted his hips forward. 

Using your mental connection, you urged him to come so that you could taste more of him. His tongue darted along his bottom lip as he kept his glowing eyes locked on you, trembling as he started to reach his peak, obeying your instructions. 

After only a few more strokes of your tongue, he was emptying himself into your mouth, spurt after spurt leaking down your throat. It was so much that you couldn’t even swallow it all down in time as some dribbled down the corners of your mouth. The sweetness of him was intoxicating, even after it lingered with a bitter aftertaste. 

He braced himself to get up off of the ground, but you placed your hand on his chest and shoved him hard, forcing him back down. You growled at him in warning, indicating that you weren’t yet finished with him. His lips peeled back into a malevolent grin as he relaxed against the ground, propping himself up on his elbows so that he could continue to watch you. 

Crawling on top of him, you rubbed your slick over his throbbing cock, which had quickly sprung back to life with eager anticipation. You shivered at the feeling of his textured cock, anxious to feel it inside of you as the tendril on the top of his slit coiled around your clit, prodding and flicking it in the best way. 

Unable to hold out any longer, you lined yourself up with him and sat down, not needing to prep yourself in any way as your body sucked him up inside of you with fervor. The ridges and bumps nudged you on the inside, creating a delicious friction that you were desperate for. He filled you completely, and yet you weren’t completely satisfied. “More,” you urged, running your nails along his torso. “I need more.” 

His brows creased as you sensed his bewilderment. “More?” he asked, a slight warning in his voice. 

“I want everything,” you confirmed, gyrating your hips slightly, earning another grumble from the back of his throat. “I want all of you.” 

He gripped your thighs harshly as his eyes flashed at you. Immediately, you felt his cock begin to swell inside of you, to the point where it should have torn you in half, but it didn’t. Your body adjusted, shaking as it accommodated all of him, stretching out your entire form. 

Without further hesitation, you started to move, bouncing up and down on his enormous cock, crying out as you were finally filled to the point of satisfaction. Your eyes started to roll into the back of your head as your jaw opened wide, your teeth jutting from your gums. The intensity of the stimulation and pressure from his shaft was overwhelming in the best possible way. 

He started to meet your rhythm with his own thrusts and he snapped his hips forward into you, giving you that extra momentum. Shifting his hips slightly, he pressed into your sweet spot, pounding into it over and over again with each thrust. 

You were relentlessly slamming down onto him now, getting closer to your release with every thrust. Pennywise could sense that you were close, and you could feel that he was, too. His body started to shake as tentacles sprouted from his groin around his monster cock. Dozens of them surrounded the two of you as some lifted you both from the ground, suspending you in the air, while others wrapped themselves around your body, nudging you in all of your most needy areas. One nuzzled itself against your clit while two more each gripped a nipple. There was even one that prodded against your rectum. 

It was all too much as your insides burned with your impending release, bubbling up until it boiled over, throwing you into a spasm of euphoria. You screamed his name as you lost yourself, knowing that he had reached his peak too as he painted your cervix with his thick ropes of come.

Slowly, his tentacles retracted, placing the both of you on the ground once again. As they trailed back into his body, his cock size reduced and he withdrew it from inside of you, allowing your body to roll off and slump on the ground next to him, absolutely spent. Pennywise lifted your limp body and pulled you onto his chest, stroking your hair while his other fingers caressed your arm. 

It continued like that for the next several hours leading into the following evening. The two of you engaged in copious amounts of sex to try and aleviate your restlessness, but it never seemed to be completely satiated. Pennywise had even attempted to take you on a hunt to placate your hunger. He had lured the victim to you rather than having you go out on your own. He seemed reluctant to put you in harm's way, or have you strike the killing blow to your prey. Only when the light faded from their eyes did he allow you to feed. 

A couple of hours after your hunt, you were laying with each other in post-coital bliss, reminiscing in the way the victim had tasted - so delicious after Pennywise had terrorized him with his fear of bees. Your thoughts were interrupted when you were struck by a thought that didn’t come across Pennywise’s mind too often. Unease crept into his mind as he lay next to you, staring off into the darkness, lost in thought. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked, trying to dig deeper into his thoughts, but he blocked you, building a wall that you weren’t able to penetrate. 

“My… _ friends _have arrived,” he nearly spat with disdain. He sat up, materializing his favored silky medieval attire onto his once naked form. “I’m going to give them a proper greeting.” 

Once he got to his feet, you moved to follow him, but he held up his hand to you, baring his teeth in warning. “Stay here. You’re not accompanying me there.” 

Taken aback, you argued immediately. “Why can’t I come with you?” 

Snarling at your response, his claws ripped through his gloves as his fangs glistened in the darkness. “Because I forbid it.” 

He had never spoken to you that way… that you could remember, anyway. Rage was welling up inside of you as you willed your own clothing to appear, ready to follow after him despite his harsh words. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” you snapped back, surprised at your own boldness. 

In an instant he was directly in front of you, so close that your noses almost touched, his expression livid as he brought his razor-clawed hand up in a motion to grab your throat. However, he suddenly stopped, his lip quivering as he shook, retracting his arm slowly before he had even touched you. 

He took a moment to collect himself before he spoke again, though you could still sense his outrage and how close he was to acting on his aggression. “I am still the superior being,” he hissed through his buck teeth. “You will obey me because everything that I do is in your best interest - and mine. Do you understand me?”

You felt childish as you rolled your eyes, which only irritated him further. “Pennywise,” you addressed him, the pleading tone evident in your voice. “I can’t just sit in this cave for the rest of our lives. I’m going crazy with boredom in here!”

“You’ve been awake merely one day,” he countered with impatience. “You cannot possibly be experiencing discontentment from lack of stimulation.” His eyes trailed up and down your body while flashes of your bodies entangled in one another over the past day rushed through your mind and his. 

“That’s not… I’m not saying that sleeping with you isn’t enjoyable,” you emphasized the last word with a slight huff. “I just need to get out of this environment. I like a good cave as much as the next monster, but even you have to admit that it’s pretty damn bleak down here. I want to explore-” 

“No.” 

Raising your eyebrows, you questioned, “No?” 

Wrinkling his nose and furrowing his brow, he ran his fingers along your hair, brushing it back gently. “If you feel that you’re confined to such a severe degree, we’ll find a way to alleviate your urges in time. For now, you will remain here until it’s safe for you to leave.” 

Saying nothing, you knew that he could sense your frustration and impatience as you turned away from him, shouting profanities at him in your mind, which only seemed to amuse him. When you turned around to continue to argue your point, he was already gone. 

Over the next hour, you found yourself continuously pacing around the cave, stewing in your own anxiousness. After all, what was the worst that would happen if you left to explore on your own? Surely, you were the most powerful creature in Derry - apart from Pennywise. What threats could possibly be lurking around town that could potentially harm you? Also, what was he doing that was so secretive that you couldn’t go with him?

Impatience and curiosity eventually won out as you gave yourself a once-over to confirm that you were somewhat presentable to the human eye before you ventured out of the cave. The moon shone brightly through the trees onto your skin, igniting a sense of contentment that you had been longing for. Inhaling deeply, you could smell the scent of nature carried in the breeze around you. 

Allowing your feet to do the thinking, you just started running. You had no idea where you were headed, but it felt amazing to stretch your legs and to go at full speed through the woods. That was, until you caught a scent that made you stop so fast, you left skid marks in the dirt from your own feet. 

Off in the not too far distance, you smelled human flesh - and not just one human. There were dozens of humans nearby, all of their fears bombarding your head like speakers blasting music so loudly that you couldn’t even comprehend your own thoughts. 

Your knees buckled as your body fought to change shape to appeal to your prey, but since it didn’t know which fear-inspired form to take, your body started ripping itself apart. Screaming in agony, you hit the ground, covering your head in a pointless act to filter the fears of the humans worming their way into your brain to no avail. 

You needed Pennywise. He was the only thing that could put you at ease and prevent you from either acting on your instinct to slaughter them all at once, or allowing yourself to die from the anguish their fears brought you. Why the former mattered to you, you didn’t know, but it did. 

Focusing all of your mental energy, you concentrated on his presence, willing yourself to travel instantly to where he was lurking in town, wherever that might be. The pain in your head lessened as your body morphed through the air, eventually placing you in the front of what appeared to be a dining facility for humans. The illuminated sign on top of the door read _ Jade of the Orient _ on the front. 

Before you could slink into the shadows to search for Pennywise, a group of humans burst from the front doors, fear radiating off of them, making your mouth water. You were taken aback when flashes of what they feared most crept into your mind, revealing a familiar figure. They weren’t all separate fears, but in fact, one in the same. It was your mate. 

They stopped in their tracks when they saw you standing by yourself in the middle of the parking lot in front of the restaurant, staring blankly at them. After a moment, their expressions differed from confusion, grief, and absolute shock. 

A man came forward from the group, stopping a few feet in front of you. He was tall and lanky with large glasses and unkempt hair. Something about him struck you as deeply familiar, but you couldn’t conclude how. In fact, they all sparked some form of recognition, deep in your mind where you couldn’t quite reach. 

His eyes were glossed over with the threat of tears as he looked you over, his mouth opening and closing multiple times as if he couldn’t decide on what to say. Finally, one word slipped from his lips. “Y/N?”

The sound of it triggered something in you. Pennywise hadn’t called you by a name since you had awoken. He only used general terms of affection. You hadn’t really thought about what your actual name might be, but the name spoken by the human somehow seemed to fit, filling a part of the hole you had felt in your center since awakening.

“What did you say?” you asked, now unsure if you were imagining it. 

“Y/N,” he repeated, sending another surge within you. “Is that really you?” 

You stepped forward, closing the gap between you, resisting the urge to rip into his jugular as you traced the pads of your fingers along his cheek, over his jaw, and up to the dark strands of his messy hair. Memories started to flood back into your mind like a broken dam, making it seem like your whole world was crashing down. 

“...Richie?” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my lovely beta, meganxmarie, for fixing all of my mistakes. If only she could be my life coach, too :p

The tall man that stood before you wrapped his arms around your frame, pulling you into a tight embrace. For a moment, you couldn’t move, taken aback by the affectionate action of the human… until your arms instinctively started to hug him back, inhaling deeply into his chest as the familiar smell of him washed over you. 

In an instant, your entire past flooded your mind like a tidal wave. All of your memories as a human had been buried in your brain, scattered in a way that made them nearly impossible to find until now. You remembered everything leading up to your long rest as if it were yesterday. To say that it was jarring to see Richie now almost three decades older was an understatement. 

“Holy shit, Y/N,” Richie mumbled into your hair, releasing a choked sob. “I never thought… I mean… I figured you were dead.” 

He released you then, keeping a firm grip on your shoulders as if he were afraid that he would lose you again if he let go. “Richie,” you uttered, your voice hoarse with the urge to cry. “I can’t believe it. You look…” 

“Handsome as fuck?” he interjected playfully with a wide grin. 

“I was just going to say that you grew into your looks,” you teased, reassuringly rubbing your thumb over his cheek, still not quite sure that this wasn’t all just a dream. 

“What the fuck does that mean?” he asked, eyeing you suspiciously before chuckling and brushing it off. His eyes searched yours for a moment before his grin faded into a grim expression. “You haven’t aged a day.” Typically when people say that, it’s meant as a compliment, but you felt the devastation in his voice as he said it, knowing that it could only mean one thing. You were no longer human.

Releasing his grip, he stepped back from you, his brow furrowing in distress and resentment. The others slowly came forward, wanting to inspect you for themselves. It was then that you realized you knew them, too. 

Eyes welling up, you placed your hand over your mouth in shock as you realized that the majority of the Losers Club was standing before you. They were now much older than you, their features still so similar, and yet so simultaneously different. “Oh my god,” you lamented, trying to contain yourself from having a mental breakdown. 

It’s not that you didn’t know this would happen when you agreed to be Pennywise’s mate, but to expect something and then to actually live it were two very different things. To witness those kids change from adolescents to full-on adults overnight was jarring to say the least. 

Swallowing thickly, you cleared your throat before speaking again. “You… you never left?” you asked, disappointment flooding through you. “You were supposed to leave and live your life away from this place. Why did you stay?” 

“We did leave,” an attractive man remarked from the back of the group. Examining him closely, it took you a moment to finally realize who it was. 

“Jesus Christ… Ben? Are you shitting me?”

His lips curved into a shy, humble grin as he replied, “Yeah, it’s me.” 

“You look so great!” You approached him in an attempt to embrace him, but he immediately flinched, detering you from coming any closer. “I… I’m sorry,” you stammered, stepping back and avoiding his gaze. 

“N-no,” he stumbled over his words, obviously feeling guilty of hurting you. “It’s fine. It’s just… you’re…” 

“A monster,” you finished for him, the taste of the word bitter on your tongue. 

He grimaced at your use of the blunt phrase. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.” 

You smiled sadly at him, wanting to give him a reassuring hug, but knowing that it would only make him, and probably everyone else, uncomfortable. It was a relief to see that though Ben had physically changed so dramatically, he was still the same sweet boy you knew. 

Brushing off the rejection, you remembered what Ben had said before you were distracted by his appearance. “Wait, so if you left Derry, why are you back?”

The tension in the air was thick as Mike addressed you. “I was the only one that never left. I’ve been here researching and waiting to see if It would return. After the incident at the bridge, I knew that my suspicions were correct. We made an oath that if It ever came back, we’d find a way to get rid of him for good.” 

Everyone’s eyes were on you as they gauged your reaction, their anxiety heightened as they waited to see how you would respond. After a long pause, you finally replied with a candid, “I see.” Of course they wouldn’t have just let it go. There was no way that you could have expected them to, despite hoping otherwise. “So… you’re here to kill me, too?” 

“No,” Richie stated bluntly, too fast for anyone to interject. 

“Richie, come on,” Bill protested, speaking up for the first time while giving you a sympathetic, and yet equally cold expression. 

“No,” Richie repeated, turning to glare at Bill. “That’s not happening. She’s the only family I have left.”

That struck you as an odd statement. “What are you talking about? Where’s Sara and Aunt Alyssa?” 

Richie turned away, refusing to meet your gaze as you picked up on the apprehensive aura emitting from the others. “Richie…” you said his name with warning, resisting the urge to growl with impatience. “Where are they?”

He finally locked eyes with you, his expression sorrowful as he took a deep, shaky breath and replied. “Car accident. About 5 years after you… disappeared.” You could tell that he was struggling to find words for what happened to you during your hibernation, but that was the least of your concerns. 

Your family was gone. Two of the people you loved most in the world were dead, and you weren’t there to say goodbye. You couldn’t even remember the last thing that you said to your aunt, but one thing that would forever remain etched in your memory is the grief-stricken expression that Sara gave you as you left with your mate after she had begged you with everything she had to stay. That was the last moment that you will ever have with her. You broke her heart. 

That’s when a thought occurred to you. Pennywise had the capability to control things outside of his slumber. You had remembered this from when he still maintained control over your life even after he had gone into hibernation and you had left for California. Could it be possible that he caused this as a form of his own revenge?

You could feel the heat rising from your chest, up past your throat and into your face. Fury and a deep feeling of betrayal were radiating throughout your body. All reason had been eradicated from your mind as your vision was blinded by rage. You opened your mouth slowly, absentmindedly releasing a shriek that was thunderous, piercing, and downright horrifying. 

Talons ripped through your fingertips as you continued to screech loudly, causing some of the others to cover their ears while the remaining few distanced themselves even further, their eyes wide with astonishment, too frightened to react. 

The moment your scream had ceased, you teleported, leaving the others behind without another word. You concentrated on feeling your way through the airspace, searching for your mate. The moment you caught scent of him, you chased after him, immediately finding yourself deep in the woods on the outskirts of Derry. 

Breathing heavily, the heat from your breath emerged like smoke in front of you, making your appearance even more sinister as you skulked through the trees. “Pennywise!” you shouted, the sound of your own voice sending a chill down your spine. “Show yourself! Right now!” 

“I’m here.” You whipped around to see Pennywise casually leaning against a tree, his arms and legs crossed in a relaxed position while he glared at you in the dark. “You disobeyed me.” 

“Cut the bullshit, Penn,” you demanded. As you approached him, you could feel your fangs drop from your gums in what appeared to be an involuntary reaction. You had briefly recalled this happening to Pennywise whenever he was enraged or lustful. 

“My, my,” he cooed, grinning widely to show off his own sharp teeth gleaming in the moonlight. “We’re in a mood, aren’t we?”

Placing your hands on his shoulders, you pushed him back from his stance against the tree, causing him to stumble back. You snarled furiously at him, which was met with a deep warning growl from him in return. 

“Did you kill Sara and Aunt Alyssa?!”

His expression changed from angry to neutral immediately as he sat up straight, his eyes flickering over your seething form. “No,” he finally answered. “I didn’t.”

“I don’t believe you.” Bitterness was evident in your tone as you started to circle around him like a wild animal cornering their prey. What infuriated you even more was the fact that you could sense what he was feeling, and there was not even a hint of concern. Instead, he seemed _ amused _by your outrage. 

“It’s unfortunate that they’re no longer with us,” he drawled in a bored tone. “Your aunt’s company was tolerable, and Sara… well, she was certainly entertaining.” The malice in his eyes as he spoke of them made something snap inside of you that you couldn’t reign in. 

In an instant you were on him, talons and teeth at the ready as you wrestled him to the ground. Not even a moment later, he had you pinned underneath him, your arms held together above your head by his strong grip while his other hand traced a long nail down the length of your cheek. “Was it something I said?” A malicious cackle followed his taunt, which gave you the opportunity to strike again. 

Lifting your legs, you wrapped them around his chest and twisted yourself upwards while pulling him down with your calves, causing him to fall back while you sprung to your feet, baring your teeth at him. He giggled menacingly, apparently wildly entertained by your attempt to bring him down. 

“Apparently, you’ve regained your memory,” he commented facetiously. 

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to read his thoughts, but he was blocking you from doing so. “You sound disappointed,” you replied flippantly, matching his uncaring demeanor like it was a game of wits. 

“Oh?” he asked in mock curiosity. “Why would I be?”

“You tell me,” you urged, still circling in an attempt to keep him distracted, meeting him step-for-step as you maintained focus while strategizing your next attack. “Did you purposely try to make me forget? Or were you trying to keep me away from my cousin to make sure that I wouldn’t ever remember where I came from?”

He hummed in response, pursing his lips as he tilted his head in thought and maybe even pity. “I can think of far better ways to spend my time than to plot against my mate.” 

He was an enigma, and he baffled you to the brink of insanity. A part of him was genuinely sincere, but then there was another side to him that was so malevolent, you could never tell if he was capable of anything else. The most frightening aspect was that you could literally see and feel what was in his head, and still he continued to puzzle you.

“Pennywise,” you snarled, losing what little patience you had left. “If you did anything to harm them after our agreement, I swear on my life that I will slaughter you.” 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he scolded, wagging his finger at you in disapproval. “Is that any way to speak to your eternal lover?” He then crouched low to the ground, his eyes glowing a fierce yellow while his own talons emerged from his gloves. His fangs were dripping saliva as he hissed at you, ready to pounce. “Give it your best shot.” 

Following his lead, you also readied yourself for the attack, glowering at him and chomping your teeth in warning as you planted your feet, deciding which was the best angle to go for. 

Just as you were about to make your move, your head felt like it was splitting open. Dropping to your knees, you wrapped your hands around your head as you curled in on yourself, the pain unbearable as the images of numerous fears from the humans echoed through your mind.

The ringing in your ears prevented you from hearing Pennywise calling your name and rushing towards you, laying his hands on your back to gently soothe you with his touch. “It’s okay. I’ve got you,” he urged, trying to mask the trepidation in his voice. “Tune it out. You’ve got to focus on one at a time. Do you understand?” You could barely register what he was saying between the shouts and cries in your mind, some of which were from the humans, and the rest was from your own internal agony. 

It was only a few moments later that you felt yourself being lifted from the ground and transported back to your cave where the pain ceased immediately. Still shaking, you locked your arms around Pennywise’s neck and sobbed into his chest as he sank to the ground, cradling you in between his long limbs. He carded his fingers through your hair, whispering sweet nothings into your ear to calm you as you continued to cry into his chest, shaken by the assault on your mind. 

He remained there, unmoving as you continued to dampen his silky attire with your tears. A few minutes later, you pushed back on his chest softly, distancing yourself from him a bit. You avoided his gaze as he wiped his gloved thumb across your cheek, collecting the fallen tears and drying your face. You felt his lips press against your temple and he remained there for a moment before pulling away with a soft noise. Finally breaking the silence, he spoke. “You will learn how to filter human thoughts. It only seems overwhelming now because they’re all entering your subconscious at once. With time and practice, you’ll do just fine. It will no longer be painful for you.” 

Sighing heavily, you didn’t respond, still caught up in the uncertainty of it all. In a matter of minutes, you went from devastated, to infuriated, to terrified, to relieved. It was all so much. You were worried that when you changed you would be inept without your human emotions, but it seemed as though they were stronger than ever, almost crippling you. 

Sensing your distress, Pennywise spoke again, keeping his tone gentle. “I did not harm your family. I promise you that.” 

Finally looking up at him, you saw the sincerity in his eyes as he looked back at you longingly. “I’m sorry,” you choked out. “I was just so…” 

“Hurt,” he finished for you. “You still feel human emotion deeply.” 

Even if you couldn’t read his thoughts, you could tell by the way he said it that he was disappointed. He was probably hoping that you would become more like him when he appeared cold and indifferent, but you knew better. There was still so much more to him, even if he didn’t want to admit it. You had assumed that was why he acted out in the woods when he saw how upset you were over the loss of your remaining human family. He wanted to be your only family.

Stirring beneath you, he lifted his legs a bit, silently requesting for you to stand as he followed suit. Towering over you, he leaned down to give you a soft kiss before pulling back and nuzzling you with his red nose. “Come,” he urged, taking your hand in his. “We’re going to practice.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: It: Chapter Two Spoilers  
Mentions the death of a major character - nothing in detail.

“What the fuck just happened?”

It was just as they had feared. Moments ago, the somewhat average girl that they had remembered from their childhood had changed right before their eyes into something downright terrifying and clearly no longer human. After learning of what became of her family, she shrieked into the air - emitting a sound unlike anything that they had ever heard, shaking them to their core. Within an instant, she vanished, leaving nothing behind but the resounding ringing in their ears from her deafening cry. 

“Seriously… what the _ fuck _just happened,” Eddie repeated, mouth agape in bewilderment. 

“Shut up,” Richie mumbled, refusing to meet anyone else’s gaze, still trying to process the situation. 

“There’s two of them now?” Bill thought out loud, running his hand over his mouth and down his chin anxiously in an attempt to hide his grimace. 

“We knew that this was a possibility,” Mike stated, addressing the group as he paced nervously. He had an odd sense of calm as he spoke, having the reverse effect of putting everyone at ease. “What we didn’t know was whether or not she would have survived. Clearly, we have our answer.” 

Ben scoffed, dazed with disbelief. “Well, yeah. We knew that this might happen, but I never would have thought…” he trailed off, trying to find the right words. “Honestly, I didn’t think that it would even be possible. All this time It could have converted anyone to be like him? Anyone could have become a monster?”

“Shut up,” Richie repeated, going unnoticed by the rest of the group. His posture became visibly rigid as he closed his eyes, turning away from everyone and taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts.. 

“N-no, no, that doesn’t m-make any s-s-sense,” Bill interjected under his breath, the threat of his previous stutter returning due to his anxiety. He had to concentrate to keep his speech regulated. “Remember, he said that she was born with something that m-made her different. A d-darkness.” 

“Is that why he called us back here?” Beverly questioned, her voice shaking. She stood a bit hunched over, as if she were trying to seem smaller than she was, taking a defensive position with one arm wrapped around her stomach and the other draped over her mouth in disbelief. “He wanted us to see what he had done. Is this what he wanted all along?” 

“It seems that It got exactly what it wanted - a mate for life,” Mike confirmed, nodding his head in agreement. “Someone to wreak havoc with him for the rest of eternity.”

“Shut. _ Up _.” Richie emphasized through clenched teeth, still facing away from the group, his hands balling into fists at his sides. 

“Mike, was there anything in the police reports that indicated more than one attacker at the crime scenes? Do they suspect more than one killer?” Bill asked, trying to put the pieces together. 

“No,” Mike replied, rubbing his neck nervously, “But that doesn’t really mean anything. They’ve been awake for days now. I sincerely doubt that she hasn’t eaten anything… or anyone.” 

“Oh fuck,” Eddie cried, struggling to breathe as his hands fumbled around in his pockets searching for his inhaler. “Do you think… Stanley?”

Ben shook his head, not wanting to jump to conclusions. “We don’t even know if anything happened to him. It could just be messing with us.” 

Not waiting to find out, Beverly asked, “Mike, do you still have Stanley’s number?” He nodded, pulling out his phone to locate the number before passing it to Beverly. She dialed the number on her own phone and hit the speaker button so that everyone could listen in. After a few rings a woman answered and introduced herself as Patricia Uris - Stanley’s wife. “Hi, Patricia. I’m sorry to call so late - I’m an old friend of your husband.” 

Her face fell as the woman on the other line lost her composure, her voice cracking as she fought back her emotion to inform Beverly of his awful demise. “I’m… I’m so sorry,” Beverly replied before she ended the call. As if she couldn’t handle the news, she quickly reached into her pocket with trembling hands for a pack of smokes and a lighter, wasting no time in lighting one and taking a long drag while everyone slowly processed what they just heard.  
  
“Shit! Oh, fuck! They fucking killed him,” Eddie wailed, panicking and going into hysterics.

“Everyone just shut the fuck up!” Richie bellowed, losing his patience as he finally turned to address the group. “You have no idea what you’re fucking talking about! For all we know, he’s holding her captive! Don’t jump to fucking conclusions!” 

Beverly edged closer to him, reaching to place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Richie…” 

“No!” he snapped, pushing her hand away. “Don’t _ ‘Richie’ _ me. Put your god damned pitchforks away and just calm the fuck down.”  
  
“We have to be realistic about this,” Bill insisted, squaring his shoulders. “She’s not the same person you knew - that any of us knew.”

“Technically, she’s not a person at all anymore,” Mike countered offhandedly, unprepared for the resulting shove he got from Richie. 

Before Mike could respond in kind, Bill forced himself in between them, placing his hands on Richie’s shoulders to keep him from taking out any more of his aggression on Mike. “Hey, knock if off,” he demanded, locking eyes with Richie. “We don’t know anything for sure yet. The only thing we do know is that It probably has a plan, and it’s not a good one. We need to talk to your cousin, Richie. Once we know what she knows, we can formulate a plan. Got it?” 

“No way!” Eddie replied in a high-pitched squeak. “You guys can do what you want, but I’m getting the fuck out of Dodge. I don’t need this shit!” 

“We made an oath,” Mike opposed. “It’s our responsibility.”  
  
Eddie scoffed, eyes wide with paranoia and fear. “This is bigger than some oath that we made when we were stupid kids!”

“Alright,” Ben stepped forward assertively. “Let’s just take a breath for a minute. Can we all just agree to at the very least to go back to the B&B and talk this through? I don’t think that the parking lot in front of a Chinese restaurant is the best place to have this kind of discussion.” 

After exchanging hesitant glances, everyone nodded their heads and began making their way back to the Derry Town Home. 

* * *

“Get up.” 

The coolness of the cave floor felt good against your flushed cheek as you lay still, not wanting to follow Pennywise’s orders. 

“I said,” your mate indicated coldly, not giving you any form of leniency. “Get. Up.” 

“Fuck. Off.” you grunted, too tired to get into a full-fledged argument. Surprisingly, rather than become enraged at your words, you only felt a flicker of annoyance emitting from the clown. You figured that his tolerance of you must have been improving and that you were actually winning an argument for once. Or, at least that’s what you thought before he yanked you up by your arm and forced you into a standing position. 

“Please, Penn,” you whined breathlessly, not having the energy to snarl at him like you wanted to. “I can’t do this anymore. I need a break.” 

“No. Do it again.” 

“But, I-” 

“Again.” 

Training with your mate had been somewhat harrowing. Pennywise had taken it upon himself to kidnap unwilling participants to assist you with your learning. He had captured criminals from Holiday Park, the same place from before, and brought them back to the cave where they reeked of delicious fear. 

Somehow, he had hauled back a group of five unsuspecting men. He had selected such a small group so as not to overwhelm you too much, but it was still difficult to manage. Each time after you had collapsed, Pennywise simply erased their memory and readied them for another round, surprisingly not yet bothering to slaughter them. 

The biggest issue that you had encountered was that the fears of the adults were difficult to conjure. Their fears mostly consisted of things like getting sentenced to life in prison, or missing their parole hearing, or paying taxes. It was almost impossible to emulate those in a physical form, so you had to try and come up with things to compromise. You struggled profusely to dig into the depths of their subconsciousness to find something even remotely tangible to change into, and it proved to be more difficult than you had anticipated. 

Forcing yourself to concentrate, you braced yourself to filter out the thoughts of the small group of men that Pennywise had gathered for your practice. You had gotten better at tuning them out so that you could focus on only one at a time, but with their fears being so obscure, it wasn’t improving as well as you had hoped. 

One of the men had a fear of small spaces, so Pennywise had instructed you to infiltrate their mind and manipulate their thoughts into seeing what wasn’t really there. He said that you could project an entirely different environment to throw them off, and make them think that they were somewhere they weren’t. 

However, it became clear all too quickly that you were already over exerting yourself trying to pinpoint simple fears, and changing someone’s entire surroundings were way out of your league. 

Yet again, you collapsed, the pain too much for you to handle and the frustration settling in. “I give up,” you panted, dramatically sprawled across the floor. “Just leave me here to die.” 

You didn’t have to see Pennywise to know that he was rolling his eyes at you. “You’ll survive,” he stated bluntly. 

“Maybe this is nature's way of telling me that it just wasn’t meant to be,” you thought out loud, refusing to move. “How the hell am I supposed to survive if I can’t even get the basics down? It’s so easy for you, this sucks ass.” 

“You’ve been practising for merely a few days. I have been manipulating minds for an eternity. Do not presume that you’re destined for failure simply because you’re inadequately sifting through multiple human minds so soon after your transition.” 

“You know,” you began with a huff, narrowing your eyes at him. “I think I almost prefer you talking in riddles rather than your proper holier-than-thou way of speaking. I swear, it’s like you’re schizophrenic. I never know which Pennywise I’m going to get on any given day.” 

He emitted his trademark maniacal giggle, clearly amused by your comment. “If riddles and rhymes are what you suggest, I will happily oblige to your request.” 

Immediately regretting your comment, you groaned. “Nope. Nevermind. That’s giving me PTSD. I formally retract my request.” You sat up and glared at Pennywise while he tried to hide his amused grin. “Remind me again why you prefer being a clown? There’s got to be a story there.” 

“No story,” he replied flippantly. “Children are drawn to clowns. It’s an inviting disguise.” 

“Okay, first of all, clowns are creepy as fuck, so your intel is severely outdated.” He smirked, humming lightly to acknowledge his indifference to your response. “Secondly, can’t you take a break from being the clown? I’m not repelled by it or anything, it’s just…” 

“You prefer my human form.” 

You should have known that he already knew what you desired. The fact that he could read you even more easily than before was going to take some getting used to. The ability to keep any sort of secret from him was a thing of the past, and even then it didn’t quite work out as well as you would have liked.  
  
“Technically,” he began, taking a long, smooth stride towards you. “My clown form is human. Mostly. Does that not appeal to you?”  
  
“I never said it didn’t,” you countered, feeling small under his heated gaze. He wasn’t angry, but there was something there - an intensity that was growing with each word spoken between the two of you. “I think you’re attractive regardless. I just… I don’t know - it’s just weird. It’s like I have a clown kink or something.” 

“Do you?” he asked, his voice changing from his eerie, raspy clown tone to a voice like silk. He had a wicked gleam in his eye as he stepped closer to you, like a predator cornering his prey. 

The heat was more prominent now. It was clear that what you were feeling wasn’t anger or nervousness. It was lust, and it was building steadily, especially with the way that he was looking at you. 

“Umm… I-don’t think… maybe? You make me question everything about myself, so honestly, who the hell knows.”

He chuckled, his clown appearance slowly melting away, revealing the handsome form of a man with chestnut brown hair, and inviting eyes. He pursed his pillowed lips ever so slightly, the corners lifting at the end to reveal an infuriatingly confident grin. He stood casually, placing his hands in his pockets as he was now adorned with black slacks and a form-fitting white collared shirt, which suited him very well.   
  
“Better?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow and tilting his head in a facetiously innocent manner. 

Two could play at that game. Biting your lip, you sashayed over to him, tracing a nail up his chest and letting it linger on the top button of his shirt. Tilting your head back to accommodate the height difference, you lifted your hands to pull his face towards you, so close that your lips lightly brushed against his as you spoke. “It’s adequate.” 

Releasing his face, you turned to walk away from him, knowing that you wouldn’t get very far. He gripped your arm and yanked you back to him, crashing his mouth against yours in an urgent, needy kiss. Tongues fighting for dominance, you breathed in his scent deeply, relishing in his taste. 

Just as you were about to rid yourself of your clothes, he pulled back, a frustrated expression on his face. He completely separated himself from you, flexing his fingers as he concentrated on keeping his composure. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked, not able to interpret what it was that he was feeling. It was an odd mix of emotions that you hadn’t sensed before and couldn’t describe. 

“It’s too soon,” he answered, wiping access spit from his bottom lip with his thumb as he faced you. “I need to… refrain for now. It’s not time yet.” 

You scoffed, irritated by his unnecessary restraint. “Seriously? We can’t take an hour to mess around? You’re really that insistent on training?” 

A wry grin graced his lips, indicating that you completely misinterpreted his intentions. To spare you any further confusion, Pennywise repeated a word in his mind until you were able to make it out clearly. 

_ Heat _. 

The realization hit you like a freight train. He was waiting for you to go into heat so that he could breed you. You remembered him mentioning something about it briefly before your long rest, but you thought that you had made yourself clear when you told him that wasn’t something that you were in any hurry to accommodate. 

“Pennywise,” you groaned, not at all keen on the idea of delaying sex, and especially not the idea conceiving a monster. “I told you. I’m not… I don’t think that I’m ready for that. Why are you in such a rush? Aren’t we eternal? Is it really important for you to try and have a kid so soon?” 

“You misunderstand,” he countered, edging closer to you, that wicked gleam returning to his eyes. “Your heat isn’t simply about breeding. It’s about much, much more.” 

Before you realized what was happening, he had you pressed against the wall of the cave, his large hands placed on both sides of your head as he entrapped you with his long arms, gazing down at you with a hungry gaze. His eyes glowed fiercely as he continued, “When the time comes, you will be begging for me to indulge you.” He leaned in impossibly closer, whispering into your ear, earning a pool of wetness that was dripping from your core. “You’ll be overwhelmed with an ache that only I will be able to alleviate. Your entire body will shut down, your need for me almost unbearable until I fill you to capacity with my cock. I’m going to fuck you with abandon - so brutally that you’ll lose consciousness in the pleasure that only I can bring you. You’ll feel like you’re dying in the euphoria, and the only remedy will be my seed, lining your inner walls and bringing you back from the brink of death. Do you understand?” 

Your entire body was trembling. He had never spoken to you that way with such crude and enticing detail. The ability to speak was long gone as you exhaled, releasing a breath that you didn’t realize that you were holding. The wetness of your core had soaked your panties as he had described what he had planned for your heat, and suddenly… you were eager for it. 

Just as you leaned in to close the gap between you, he pulled away, clapping his hands together and straightening his posture. “Enough of this. It’s a discussion for a later time. Let’s resume your training.” 

“Ugh!” you groaned loudly, trying to supress the throbbing in your lower region, knowing that Pennywise was too determined to be swayed at that moment. As he turned to gather the group of criminals once more, you called after him. “Pennywise, I can’t keep at it like this. There has to be another way.”

He looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. “There is.” 

“Thank fuck,” you huffed. “Whatever it is, let’s do it. It beats torturing myself over these creeps. What do you suggest?”

Pennywise’s grin faded as he narrowed his eyes at you, gauging your reaction before letting one word slip from his lips. “Children.” 

Just the word made a chill crawl up your spine. The thought of tormenting and harming an innocent being was too much, and you couldn’t allow yourself to do it. 

“No, Penn. We’ve been over this. I can’t…” you trailed off, shivering at the very thought of it. 

He approached you, placing a finger under your chin to lift your face slightly and lock eyes with you. “Do you still doubt me? Silly girl, it’s possible to hunt and not to feast on your prey. We have to keep ourselves entertained, even when we’re full. I believe the term humans use is, ‘catch and release’?” 

That oddly made sense to you. If you could keep your instincts in check, it would probably be easier for you to hunt children. Pennywise had explained to you previously that they were easier to hunt because their fears were simplified. 

Mulling over the possibility in your mind, you asked, “You promise not to hurt them? It’s just practice?”

He took your hand in his and brought it up to his lips with your palm facing upward to reveal your scar. He slowly licked across the marked skin, his eyes never leaving yours, causing a stir in your core at the intimacy of his action. You had assumed that his act was similar to that of a person kissing the back of someone’s hand. He grinned unnaturally widely in a wicked way before replying, “I guess we’ll have to try it and see. Won’t we?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to meganxmarie and Sneepy for kicking my ass into gear and making this chapter legible. You two are everything <3

The delectable scent of human flesh was potent in the air once Pennywise teleported the two of you out of the cave and into a dark corridor surrounded by metal frames. You were a bit thrown off by the roaring cheers of a large crowd close to you since you weren’t able to physically see them. The thoughts and fears of the nearby people quickly invaded your mind, causing you to falter a bit, but once you focused all of your energy, you were able to force them down for the time being. Though the action left you with a splitting headache, you were grateful for the progress you had made in such a short amount of time. Pennywise granted you an approving grin as he noticed your acclimation. 

Turning your attention to your surroundings, you attempted to decipher your whereabouts. Despite your ability to see perfectly in the dark, you were still clueless as to where Pennywise had brought you. “Where are we?” 

He nodded his head towards the direction of the boisterous crowd, indicating that you should see for yourself. Rounding the corner of the corridor, you saw streaks of light through the metal frames. After edging closer and looking through the open slots in the frames, you realized that you were standing under bleachers filled with humans who were watching a local sporting event. 

Turning back to Pennywise, you gave him a skeptical glare. “How is this supposed to help me?”   
  
“Relax,” he insisted. “You have to know how to separate the fears in your mind and control your abilities. I will show you how it is done. Children are the best example.” 

“We’re at a high school football game,” you pointed out cynically. “High schoolers aren’t exactly what I would refer to as children.” 

“They aren’t the targets,” he corrected, giving you a scrutinizing look. “In time, you will learn how to feel the energy of not only the residents of Derry, but the town as a whole. I am connected to everything and everyone. I can sense who the best targets are, and where they are located at all times. There’s a perfect victim here.” 

It irked you when he spoke as if he knew all the answers to questions you hadn't even thought to ask yet. Though he was clearly trying to educate you, it made you feel small. Reluctantly, you inquired further. “You were lured here by a child? I can’t imagine there’s any kid who would send out signals wanting to be frightened to death and then eaten.” 

He gave you a wry smile with what you could swear was mixed with a look of pity before he replied. “It’s not that kind of attraction. I can sense who are the easiest targets because of their weaknesses. I choose my victims based on how likely they are to fall for my advances. I brought us here because there is a child here who is easily swayed.”

“Okay, that makes sense, but the point is to practice, right? We’re not here to kill anyone. This is just an exercise to filter thoughts and fears so I’m not overwhelmed. Isn’t that why we’re here?” Your eyes narrowed at him as you waited for an answer. 

Pursing his lips, he paused for a moment before responding as his eyes danced with amusement. “Of course.”  
  
Something was off about all of this. The way he carried himself with ease through what should have been a tense moment unnerved you, but you had figured that it was due to your reluctance to put yourself in this situation in the first place. Pennywise was the only one who had experience with this, and you weren’t going to learn any other way than by exposing yourself to this stuff little by little.   
  
“So, what’s the first step?”   
  
Grinning wickedly, he licked his lips before proceeding. “We’re going to try a different approach this time.” 

That did nothing to ease your nervousness. “In what way?”   
  
“Not every hunt requires changing your shape. You have the ability to lure your prey without fear. All it takes is to pinpoint their weaknesses.” His eyes flared yellow while simultaneously red lines began etching into his face to reveal his clown form. “This appearance lets me lure children without having to change into their specific internal fear.”   
  
“Penn… don’t you think that you’re going to look a little out of place as a clown here? How the hell do you expect to lure anyone like that?” 

His lips twisted into a smirk once again before he winked at you and said, “Blend with the shadows and remain silent. Take note of my actions.”

Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you crept into the darkness, masking your flesh to reflect your surroundings and remain a safe distance away. Once you were situated, Pennywise flashed his teeth at you in an excited grin before lifting a closed fist in front of his lips. With the both of you focused on his fist, he opened it slowly to reveal a beautiful, glowing firefly. He blew into the palm of his hand, releasing it into the air as it fluttered above his head, lingering for a moment before disappearing around the corner. 

You gave him a questioning glance, not yet understanding what his endgame was. It wasn’t until you saw the glow of the firefly return down into the bleachers with a little girl trailing behind it. She couldn’t have been more than eight, her curiosity guiding her as she extended her arms gently in an attempt to catch the erratically flying bug. If you were being honest with yourself, it was an ingenious move on Pennywise’s part. 

Watching carefully, you held your breath as the little girl came closer. Her thoughts started to creep into your mind at that point, along with other information about who she was. Her name was Victoria, but her friends called her Vicky. She had self-esteem issues due to the prominent birthmark on her cheek, often making her a prime target for bullies. You faltered for a moment, your head swimming with information that hit you so quickly. It was as if you were downloading her entire life’s story into your own mind within a fraction of a second. The sensation of it was so odd, and something beyond the comprehension of your previously human brain. 

Snapping out of your daze, you had been quickly pulled back into the present when Pennywise clapped his hands around the firefly, bringing it towards him before cracking his hands open to reveal the glow, casting a soft light on his clown face. “Hello, Vicky,” he cooed, drool spilling down his lips and one of his eyes drifting to the side. “Isn’t that what your friends call you? Vicky? How did I know that? I guess I must be your friend too!” He finished with a sinister chuckle. 

Despite the unease you felt regarding his approach, you continued to watch in silence, gauging the girl’s reaction. Suspicion and fear were her initial emotions, and she was having none of his bullshit. “If you’re my friend, why are you hiding in the dark?” Pennywise met her narrowed eyes with a grimace, reluctant to respond. “You’re not my friend. You’re scary.” 

She turned to walk away, back to her family when Pennywise started to release pathetic whimpers, indicating that he was crying. You had to hold your tongue to keep from laughing at his attempt to keep her there. However, much to your surprise, it started to work. Turning back to him, her fear turned to remorse as she addressed him once more. “Why are you crying?”

Sniffling, Pennywise pouted his lip before replying with a quivering voice. “People always make fun because of the way I look. I thought if you couldn’t see my face… maybe you’d want to be my friend.” 

The affect his words had on her were instantaneous. He was tugging at her heartstrings by using her own insecurities against her. It was manipulatively brilliant. You struggled to determine if you were more disgusted or impressed by his actions. 

“Oh, never mind,” he continued, shying away from her. “Silly old Pennywise. You’ll never have any friends.”   
  
Vicky stepped forward, her empathy coming out in waves. Hesitantly, she replied, “People make fun of me, too...“ 

“They do?” Pennywise asked, immediately ceasing his crocodile tears.

Nodding her head, she pointed to the birthmark on her cheek. “Because of this.” 

Grinning wickedly, Pennywise replied, “Well, isn’t that silly? That little thing? I can blow that thing right away!”

Her eyes lit up, a faint smile gracing her lips as she beamed at him. “You could?”

“Oh, yes! One poof and it’d be gone!” Pennywise assured her between fits of giggles. “But… you would have to get close enough to see my face. I don’t know, Vicky…” 

“It’s okay!” she insisted. “I won’t make fun, I promise!” 

“Promise, promise?” Pennywise asked, drool spilling over his lips.

As time went on, the less impressed you were with his technique, and the more suspicious you became. When you tried to infiltrate his thoughts, he put up a wall, blocking you from reading him as clearly as you wanted to, but you were still able to pick up on a bit here and there. Very briefly, you sensed a deep thrill, followed by an immensely strong sense of hunger. 

Vicky nodded excitedly, eager to see what her strange new friend could do. “Well, okey dokey!” he agreed cheerfully. “Just come on in a little closer, and we’ll blow it away on the count of three!”

No. He wouldn’t dare. No, no, no, this couldn’t be what you were thinking. He told you that he wouldn’t kill anyone, and he knew how you felt about eating children. He wasn’t even scaring her - there would be no point in killing her unless she was afraid. Why was he acting like this?

Vicky was right in front of him now, turning her marred cheek towards him in anticipation. He remained where he was, his drool pooling at her feet as their interaction progressed. Listening intently, you heard him starting to count. “One… two…” 

You didn’t like the sound of that. What did he have planned when he got to three? Why was he taking so long to get to three? No, this wasn’t right. It was time to intervene. 

Emerging from the shadows, you sensed Vicky’s unease after Pennywise stopped counting. Faintly, you heard her mumble, “You’re supposed to say thre-” 

_ CHOMP _

You choked on your own breath as you stopped dead in your tracks at the sight of Pennywise lunging forward and tearing into the face of the sweet little girl with his teeth before ripping it clean off.  
  
Ignoring the delicious scent of blood that filled the air, you didn’t even hesitate when you tackled him, ripping him away from the already lifeless child. He snarled at you as he tried to get back on his feet, but you remained on top of him, baring your teeth. “Pennywise! What the fuck do you think you’re doing!” 

“Remove yourself,” he warned, his eyes flashing dangerously at you. 

“This wasn’t the plan!” you continued, ignoring his demand. “You _ knew _how I felt about hurting a child! You fucking knew! Why would you do that?!”

Distracted by your rage, you weren’t prepared for him to move so quickly as he grabbed your arms and flipped you over so that he was straddling you, holding your hands in place over your chest as he leaned in close to speak. “They are _ food _. They are a source of nourishment and entertainment - nothing more. Their lives are meaningless. Young or old, they are all the same, and you would do well to understand that sooner rather than later.” 

“Fuck you,” you snapped back, betrayal welling up inside of you. Acting on instinct, you surged forward and sunk your teeth into his forearm.

He hissed at the assault and jumped off of you, bringing his hands down to grab at the collar of your shirt before ripping you up from your position on the ground. You didn’t even get a chance to react before he had gripped you harshly around your throat, lifting you into the air effortlessly as you clawed at his hands trying to break free. “I grow tired of this,” he drawled in a bored tone. “You need to accept who you are. Stop trying to fight it.”

The cold and calculated gaze in his eyes frightened you, bringing back memories of when you were a fragile human and was terrified just being in his presence. You hadn’t felt that way in a long time, but the intensity of it was just as strong as it had been in your other (previous) life. You were frustrated with yourself for playing along with Pennywise’s sick and twisted game. It felt like history was repeating itself, reverting back to where you started and eliminating any progress the two of you had made.

“Hey! What is going on back here?” 

A stranger’s voice pulled both of your focus onto three teenage boys who were peering behind the bleachers from the end of the row. They just happened to be passing by when they saw Pennywise’s aggressive hold on you. 

The moment they had been detected, Pennywise had shifted into his human self. You had no idea whether or not they saw his clown form. Even if they had, he had changed so quickly, they probably would have thought that they had imagined it. “Let go of her!” 

Pennywise dropped you roughly, curling his lip at the intruders. As they approached the two of you, one of the boys asked, “Ma’am, are you okay? Do you need help?”

How naive. As if these boys were any match for the Eater of Worlds. Maintaining your appearance as the damsel in distress, you gripped your throat, rubbing it tenderly. “I’m fine, thank you. We’re just having a heated discussion.” 

They may have been young, but they weren’t stupid, and they sure as hell weren’t falling for your act. They exchanged glances with one another before one of the boys extended his hand to you. “I think it would be best if you came with us.” 

Despite their persistence, you could sense that they had no malicious intent and you knew that they were trying to be kind, but your patience was wearing thin. Heat spread throughout you at the thought of Pennywise slaughtering a child despite your request, making you involuntarily shake, as your face flushed with anger. You clenched your fists so hard that your nails cut into your palms. There was also the concern that the longer they stayed, the more likely it was that they would notice the body of a child hiding (lying) in the shadows. “No, really. I’m okay. Please, leave us be.” 

“Ma’am, I don’t think that you-” 

You had snapped. No longer able to govern your violent emotions, you instantly grew five times larger while your fangs jutted from your gums and your eyes popped out of your head as you released an angry screech in their direction. The boys scrambled backwards, one of them tripping onto the gravel, cutting his palms on the jagged rocks. Another bolted away while cursing without a glance behind him and you could have sworn that the last guy pissed himself before they all followed suit and ran away from the scene. 

Pulling yourself back into your human form, you took a moment to brush the dirt off of your clothes, intentionally ignoring Pennywise’s smirk and his internal praise pouring into your mind. Out of the corner of your eye, you had noticed his body tremble before a shimmer surrounded the two of you, fading away as soon as you had noticed it. It took you a moment realize that it was a veil of camouflage. Pennywise was hiding the two of you from the humans to avoid any further interruptions. Crafty bastard.

Turning to face him, your jaw clenched in a poorly suppressed rage as you addressed him. “Why are you doing this? It’s possible to survive without killing innocent people. Why would you lie right to my face”

His eyes flickered over your form as he prepared to answer you with another question. “Tell me, why are you so determined to hold onto your humanity? Are you truly that disgusted by what we are?” 

“_You _ disgust me.” 

Pennywise clenched his jaw as your words cut through him, leaving their mark. Though you could sense his hurt for the briefest moment, the pain was quickly replaced with indifference and a mocking smirk, suddenly making you feel like the prey to his predator.

“My sweet, empathetic mate.” He used the term as a degrading insult and the tone of his voice was taunting with an edge of contempt. “Your remaining humanity is crippling the potential of what you could be.”

“My humanity isn’t the issue, you arrogant ass!” You were so livid, that every word you spoke was heavy with betrayal and rage, so potent that it was actually causing a strain in your voice. “It’s you and your fucking head games! I thought that we were done with all of this bullshit, but time and time again you prove that I can’t trust you. Honestly, Penn, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I fucking _ died _for you, isn’t that enough?”

His cold and calculated stare cut right through you, making your blood crawl beneath your skin as he stepped impossibly closer to you so that you could feel the chill of his breath on your face. “Let me be as clear as possible,” he sneered, his lips twisting into a grin while his eyes flashed dangerously at you. “You are my lover, but you do not have control over me. I am your creator. Therefore, you are bound to me - both mentally and physically. I have heeded your requests for mercy up until now because I care for you,” he spat as if the words left a bitter taste on his tongue. “Do not let my affection fool you. I have spent an eternity alone, and I will not hesitate to end you if you do not come to terms with our way of life.” 

His words rang through your skull on repeat as you let them sink in. He had to be bluffing, right? After all that he had done to convince you to be his mate, he wouldn’t just kill you because of your reluctance to eat kids… would he? _ Could _he? You didn’t even know the depth of your capabilities yet. For all you knew, you could be even more powerful than him, though it was highly unlikely. 

It was infuriating how he could frustrate you beyond all measure. He knew exactly how to get under your skin - continuously pushing until you were utterly enraged with him. The need to express your anger was still prominent, forcing you to ignore his warning rather than to heed it. “You’re so fucking weak.” His eyes flashed brightly in the dark at your harsh words, but you continued anyway. “You’d rather be stubborn and force me to do something that you know I never wanted than to compromise a little bit and god forbid both of us be happy.” 

A capricious thrill of satisfaction filled you as you felt his reaction to your words. You had managed to get under his skin, and he was trying like hell not to show it. Either that, or he was using all of his self-control to keep from slaughtering you where you stood. Maybe a bit of both. 

Pennywise remained silent, his face like stone as his eyes bore into you, searching - for what you didn’t know. The back-and-forth exchange of insults and threats seemed to be ingrained in the very foundation of your relationship since the two of you had met, and now you were both back to your old ways.

A shiver ran down your spine as something changed in him at that moment. His eyes glazed over as his aurora altered around him into one that you hadn’t yet felt. It was primal, vicious and equally terrifying. He started to laugh maniacally, which caught you off guard considering he was still in his human form, making the laugh even more chilling. “It’s clear now. Oh, yes - very clear. Your little friends are dragging you up, up, up! No, no, that will not do. Not for Pennywise. You’re meant to sink with me while the others float, and float they will!”   
  
You gawked at him, unsure as to why he was speaking like the clown when he hadn’t spoken that way in a long time. He typically reserved that way of speaking for when he was taunting his prey… unless that’s what you were to him now. 

“Penn… what are you doing?” 

He was on you in a flash, wrapping one arm around your waist to pull you against him, while he placed his long, bony finger against your lips to prevent you from talking. “Hush, hush, hush. Wouldn’t want to break ol’ Mr. Gray’s concentration now, would ya? No, no, no! Worry not, my beloved anchor. I’ll take care of the problem.”   
  
Who the fuck was Mr. Gray? What did he have to do with anything? You attempted to protest, knowing that whatever he had in mind was not going to end well, but he pressed the rest of his hand over your mouth, silencing you. Instead, you shouted at him in your head, knowing that he could hear you. He had completely shut you out, which was something you hadn’t yet learned how to do, and it angered you when he did it so you couldn’t read him in return.   
  
His eyes blazed back at you as his human mouth morphed into a sick and twisted grin, showing off his pointed teeth. “I think it’s time that your friends played with the clown!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again to Sneepy for perfecting this chapter. Their ideas are just ridiculously good and I would be lost without the guidance of this angelic being!

“Eduardo! Andale, let’s go!” 

Richie was calling for Eddie to come downstairs to meet with the rest of the Losers who had gathered in the parlor of the empty inn. It was time to talk about their options. Not long after, Eddie trudged down the stairs holding two giant suitcases. “I just gotta grab my toiletry bag and then I’m all set.” He stopped short at the sight of everyone eyeing him with confusion. “What?” he asked.

“Eddie, we agreed to talk this through first,” Beverly answered, tilting her head with a sympathetic gaze.

“We can’t just run from this,” Mike chastised, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Well, what the fuck,” Eddie groaned with a sigh, dropping his heavy suitcases with a loud thud on the stairs. “What’s there to talk about? We’re in the same place as an evil, murdering clown and his monster bride. The only logical thing to do  _ would  _ be to run, are you crazy?”

Bill looked tired, resting his head in his hands while he sat on a decorative floral automan in the corner of the room. “Even if we could run, there’s n-no point,” he murmured. “Look at what happened to S-Stanley. It was able to make us forget, r-r-regardless of w-where we were. It’s like we’ve been… inf-fected by him.”    
  
Concern echoed across their faces as they tried to comprehend what Bill was getting at. “Infected us, how? Ben asked, leaning against the bar in the back of the parlor and crossing his arms. 

“The first time we ever came in contact with him. Together… in that house,” Mike interjected. “We got away, but we never truly escaped. We’re connected to him, and It has the power to destroy us from wherever It is, and wherever we are.”   
  
“Well, what about Y/N?” Eddie pressed. “She doesn’t want us dead, right? At least, it didn’t seem that way back at the restaurant. Can’t she help?” 

“We can’t count on her,” Mike answered, ignoring the heated glare he received from Richie. “We don’t know how much control It has over her. For all we know, she could be doing his bidding.” 

“Bullshit,” Richie snapped, annoyance fracturing his attempt at indifference. “She’s not a fucking puppet. You saw how upset she got when she found out about our family.” 

“Exactly,” Mike countered. “She’s unpredictable, and we have no idea where her loyalties lie.”    
  
Beverly stood up and placed a hand on Richie’s shoulder. “I know you love her, Richie, but we have to be careful. We have no idea what she’s been through or how dangerous she is.” 

Ben sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Okay, so we’re on our own. How can we defeat this thing?” 

“The Ritual of Chud,” Mike answered in a matter-of-fact tone.    
  
“The ritual of chew?” Richie asked, skeptically. “ What the fuck is that?”

“Ritual of  _ Chud _ ,” Mike emphasized, his stern gaze meeting Richie’s confused one. “It’s the only way to kill It for good.”    
  
“That’s not possible.”    
  
Everyone’s heads whipped around to the sound of your voice coming from the doorway. Bill leapt to his feet and scrambled back while everyone took several steps away to bring as much distance between you and them as they could.

Richie was the only one to dare come close to you as he eyed you sadly. “Y/N?”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie murmured, pressing himself up against the wall furthest from you. “Richie, don’t.” 

As much as you wanted to reach out and hug Richie, you couldn’t help but focus all of your attention on trying to muffle their fears that were projecting loudly and obnoxiously in your mind. Images of you tearing into their throats or slashing their insides to ribbons with your talons flashed across your vision as you read their thoughts, making you wince at the ruthlessness of it all. 

Lifting your hands to rub your temples, you mumbled, “Can you all just… not think so loudly, please? I’m not here to hurt you.” 

Your words did nothing to ease the tension as their fears changed to a scenario in which you had earned their trust until you attacked them from behind, along with several other horrific schemes. “Seriously?” you seethed, feeling your eyes literally flash at them with a fiery glow. Of course, that did nothing to ease the anxiety of the group as they eyed you with terror, not knowing how to react to your presence. 

Since they were obviously not going to calm down any time soon, you decided to put your practice to use and filter out their thoughts, pushing them out of your subconscious so that you weren’t assaulted by their constant horror stream. Taking a deep breath, you cleared your mind and were alone with your thoughts once more. You seemed to finally be getting the hang of it, which was an enormous relief. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. 

“Richie, what is she doing here?” Ben asked, nodding in your direction while staring daggers at Richie. 

He scoffed in response. “How the fuck should I know? I didn’t call her!”    
  
“Nobody called me here,” you replied, absentmindedly taking a step further into the room, causing the others to stir uncomfortably. “I’m here to make sure that none of you get hurt.” 

“It’s a little late for that,” Richie muttered, his voice laced with resentment. “The fucking clown killed Stanley.”    
  
Taken aback, you hesitated. “...what?”

“Stanley’s dead,” he replied bluntly, his expression livid. “If we don’t do something about it, the rest of us are gonna die, too.” 

Your stomach dropped, a feeling of nausea fell over you as you swallowed down the lump in your throat. “How did he die?” 

“It doesn’t matter how,” Richie argued, raising his voice. “It fucking happened! Thanks to that murderous fuck that you sold your soul to!” 

He was fuming, clearly hurting and projecting his rage onto you. Though you weren’t sure of the details, you knew that it was entirely possible for Pennywise to have had a hand in Stanley’s death - as much as you didn’t want to admit it.

“W-what did you mean when you said that it’s n-not possible?” Bill stuttered in a hushed tone, afraid that if he was too abrasive that you would snap. You could sense the shiver that ran down his spine when your eyes darted to his, taking him in as he addressed you. “You’re s-saying he can’t be k-killed?”

Glad for the change in subject, you shook your head. “Not that I know of. He’s made a number of comments about how he’s immortal and eternal. He’s never let on that he could be killed. The guy is supposedly millions of years old and he doesn’t really consider anything or anyone to be much of a threat.” 

“Or you might just be telling us that to protect him,” Eddie accused suspiciously.    
  
You flashed him a smirk, earning a terrified look from the anxious man. “I might be,” you purred, not able to resist messing with him a bit. 

“Quit bullshitting us,” Richie demanded, seeing right through your facade. “Why are you really here?” 

“I told you. I want to make sure that you guys are okay. Pennywise…” you halted, not sure how much you wanted to divulge to the Losers. You decided it was best to be honest, but to spare them the details. “He thinks that my attachment to you is crippling my… abilities. He’s not thrilled about it. Ultimately, he wants to cut all of my ties to humanity.”

“Meaning… us?” Beverly questioned, reaching for her pack of cigarettes with trembling hands. 

You nodded in agreement, feeling the tension rise in the room, which you hadn’t thought was possible considering how on edge everyone was already. 

They exchanged glances with one another, trying to read each other’s expressions without giving too much away. Finally, Bill spoke. “W-why are you h-helping us?”   
  
It was a loaded question. Why were you helping them? They weren’t your kind anymore. You had maybe a year left with them before you would return to your rest, and by the time you woke up, they would probably have passed of old age, or were too old to remember you. Pennywise was your present, as well as your future. He was your everything - your eternal mate, and yet, you couldn’t allow him to slaughter your loved ones. It was possible to play both sides - wasn’t it? You could protect both the humans of your past, and your mate of the present from each other. It would be tricky, but it was something that you had to try. 

You turned to Richie, emotion clawing up through your throat and into your face, causing your eyes to glisten with unshed tears. “Because… I love you.” 

It was hard to argue the sincerity in your voice, and you knew it. Richie could no longer keep a safe distance as he was overwhelmed with the need to hold you. Finally approaching you, he wrapped his giant arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace that you had longed for. You inhaled deeply into his chest, savoring the familiar scent that was always Richie, along with new smells that indicated your once pre-pubescent Richie was now a full-fledged adult, and he smelled… delicious. 

Upon that realization, you forced yourself back from him, keeping your face neutral to hide your alarm at the fact that for the briefest moment, you wanted to sink your teeth into his skin and feel the blood run down your throat. That might become a problem in the future, but for now, you seemed to have a handle on it, so you shoved that concern to the back of your mind. So long as you could maintain your self-control, you’d be fine. Or… at least that’s what you had to tell yourself. 

“So, you’re just going to be our bodyguard or something?” Eddie asked, wringing his hands nervously. 

Shrugging your shoulders, you replied, “I guess so. I’m kind of just figuring things out as I go along. I just know that you’re his target and he’s not exactly one who doesn’t hold a grudge. Considering the way you guys went after him 27 years ago, I’m sure he’s seeking some form of revenge in addition to trying to sever our ties to one another.”   
  
“But… you understand that you being here won’t keep us from going through with our plan?” Mike pressed, raising his eyebrows at you. 

“What plan?”

“You see,” he continued, gaining momentum as he raised a finger into the air eccentrically. “He doesn’t know that I know.”

“Know what?” Ben questioned.

“How to kill the shit out of It!” Mike snapped, suddenly in a frantic demeanor. “Look… we don’t have a lot of time. It would be better if I showed you. Come with me.”    
  
Much to your surprise, no one bothered to argue as you all trailed behind Mike out of the Inn. You felt the unease of everyone as you walked with them through town as the sun started to rise over the horizon. Though they tried to be subtle, you didn’t miss the little things like the way Richie opened his mouth to say something to you, only to falter and turn away, leaving his thoughts unspoken. It was also obvious the way Ben walked closer to Beverly, positioning himself between the two of you to protect her from whatever you were capable of, should you suddenly lose control. 

Choosing to ignore their hesitance around you, you closed your eyes, instead trying to get a feel for whether or not Pennywise was lurking nearby. You didn’t exactly sense his presence, but you certainly felt his eyes on you. It was obvious that he was watching you and the Losers carefully, knowing exactly what you were doing at every moment. So long as he stayed away from them, you were fine. That is, until your hunger could no longer go ignored and you had to leave them to feed. There was also the fact that Pennywise was somewhere out there seething with rage at the knowledge of you protecting the Losers from him. It was probably going to be a nasty reunion once you were alone with him again, but so long as the others were alive, that was something you would willingly endure. 

Eventually, Mike led you all into the woods. It was then that a few of the Losers started to remember the area. They had referenced it as the “clubhouse”. The entrance had been buried under dirt, leaves and sticks after not having been in use for so long, so they scattered trying to find the entrance. Ben seemed to have a good feel for where it might be, so he gave the ground a hard jab with his foot, which may not have been the best idea, since that had caused the door to cave in and he fell through with a loud thud. 

“I’m okay!” You all heard him call out from the ground underneath. “Come on down!” 

The others exchanged nervous glances with one another, wondering if they should willingly let you to go down into the bunker first, or last, or even at all. After a moment of internal debate, they shuffled around, evidently deciding that it was safe to allow you entry. One-by-one you all shuffled down the decaying stairs into the underground layer that the others knew so well. You had to admit that you were impressed by the craftsmanship that went into it, especially considering it was built by a pre-teen. Come to find out, Ben was actually a very successful architect, which made a lot of sense considering how much work he had put into the clubhouse. 

The Losers started to sift around their old belongings, reminiscing in their fond memories of childhood - ones that didn’t involve a murderous monster hunting them down. You had enjoyed listening to their stories, particularly the ones that involved Stanley and how he had always been a gentle old soul who was wise beyond his years.    
  
Being in that clubhouse was like being in a safe haven for them. You no longer felt the unease and tension of your differences as you sat and listened to them speak. It was like you were one of them again, and the feeling made your heart swell. You would miss this… hell, you already missed it, but you didn’t regret the choice you had made. You loved Pennywise, but you loved the Losers, too. That was the price you paid for giving your heart to them both. Whatever the price to be paid, it was worth getting to have them all in your life, even if only for a short while longer. 

After more stories were shared, and old trinkets found and played with, Mike had gathered everyone’s attention and reminded you of why you were there. “Something happens when you leave this town.” he began. “The farther away, the hazier it all gets. But me, I never left. I remember all of it. I spent twenty-seven years researching on how we can end It once and for all. The Ritual of Chud is our only chance.” 

Eager to hear more, knowing that there really wasn’t a chance in hell that they could truly kill Pennywise, your concentration was suddenly broken by a sharp pain near your stomach. You hissed, clenching your middle with your arms and curling in on yourself. 

“Y/N?” Richie asked, eyeing you with concern. “You okay?”    
  
The pain faded after a moment, allowing you to relax enough to address him. “I… I think so. Huh. That was weird. I don’t know what-” Suddenly the pain was back, ebbing through your lower half with more intensity, causing you to break out in a sweat even though you felt a chill creep throughout your body, regardless of the fact that you were suddenly burning up. Along with the physical changes you were enduring, you felt the mood change, tension suddenly thick in the air as their safe haven was suddenly threatened by your episode.   
  
“Holy shit,” you groaned, not able to distract yourself from the heat building up inside of you. Much to your embarrassment and dismay, you felt your core start to grow wet, threatening to spill out of you if you unclenched your thighs. You bit your lip, trying to concentrate on your breathing rather than the agony that you were enduring. 

The others didn’t know whether to run or to coddle you. You felt their doubts, wondering if you were truly in pain or if it could be a trap, which you couldn’t blame them for. It wasn’t until you felt a familiar presence instantly appear that you noticed true terror emitting from their auras. 

“Hello,” the voice of your mate cooed softly into the dense air of the Clubhouse. 

“Oh, fuck!” Richie called out, separating himself from you while he and the others scrambled to the other side of the underground bunker to distance themselves.   
  
Peering up at him, you relished in the immediate feeling of relief upon seeing him, despite how close in proximity he was to your loved ones. Though you were surprised that he appeared as his human self rather than the clown, you felt no anger or animosity from him in that moment - rather instead a driving hunger in its place as his eyes ravished you.    
  
Swallowing thickly, you put up no resistance as he scooped you up into his arms, cradling you gently as he brought you close to his chest. “Hey! What the fuck are you doing to her?” Richie accused, but too terrified to move to aid you.

Pennywise’s human complection faltered as his mouth split open to reveal rows and rows of teeth as a terrifying growl ripped through his throat and he snapped his jaws at Richie, forcing him back further against the wall.  
  
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see spots of red starting to circle the two of you, blocking your view of the rest of the losers. It took you a moment to realize that the clubhouse was filling up with balloons, shrouding you and your mate so that you could escape quickly. 

A fraction of a second later, you were moving through space, distancing yourselves further and further away from human detection, and back to the comfort of your dark and damp home in the sewers. 

As soon as you reached your destination, a fresh wave of agony mixed with arousal hit you again, so strong you could barely breathe. “Pennywise,” you whined, gripping his shirt tightly in your grasp while you shook in his arms. “What’s happening?”    
  
The slick from your core started to run down your thighs, and you had wondered how in the hell that was possible. Pennywise remained silent while he walked a short distance before placing you on the make-shift bed, stepping back and letting his eyes wander over your writhing body.    
  
“Penn,” you groaned again, demanding an answer. 

Licking his lips, his eyes finally met yours. The fire behind them was something you had never seen before, and it caused another shudder to wrack through your body. That’s when it finally occurred to you what was happening.    
  
You were in heat. 

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my betas, meganxmarie and sneepy! You guys are my everything.
> 
> WARNINGS!!!
> 
> This chapter has some super dark elements. Be warned.

  
You leapt off of the bed, scurrying away from your mate before turning to face him,maintaining a defensive position. “Pennywise… back off.”  
  
His full lips curled into a smirk as he began to pace slowly, a low rumble heard from deep in his chest that indicated his longing and intentions. 

“You shouldn’t have barged in and taken me like that. I was doing just fine until you showed up and scared the shit out of them! They already think you’re a brute and a barbarian. You’re just proving them right. I won’t let you hurt them!”  
  
He giggled, causing a shiver to run down your spine. Whether it was from fear or arousal, you didn’t know. “The thoughts of my prey do not concern me. What does concern me is that delicious smell coming from between your legs.”  
  
As if on cue, a fresh wave of heat coursed through your body and went straight to your core, creating another gush of fluid to run down your thighs. You flushed red with embarrassment, wanting nothing more than to jump into a pool of cold water to ease the warmth, not at all enjoying the uncomfortable physical effects of your apparent heat. 

“Such a waste…” he sighed, shaking his head while he began to circle you like a carnivore closing in on its meal. “You think they still care for you.” It wasn’t a question, but his statement caught you off guard. 

“Of course they do,” you argued, paying close attention to his movements, readying yourself for whatever he had planned. 

“Do they?” he countered, peeling his lips back to reveal his glistening teeth in an amused smile. 

You glared at him, not having the energy to argue while your body was screaming at you in a way that you hadn’t experienced before. You felt light-headed and it was taking all you had to stand up straight, refusing to curl in on yourself and fall to the ground in agony like you desperately wanted to.  
  
Showing an enormous amount of restraint, Pennywise continued to circle you at a leisurely pace. “My, my, my. Your little friends have changed, haven’t they?” He mocked, earning an involuntary growl from the back of your throat, causing him to chuckle in return. “Does it hurt? Does it break you? My pitiful lover. So sad to see how eager they were to rid themselves of you.”  
  
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
  
“Couldn’t wait to get rid of you, hmm? Oh, yes. How careless they were to let me take you, not even bothering to try. Your little friends know. Yes, yes, know that they _ die _if they try.” 

His calm and collected way of speaking was long gone as he had taken on his eerily familiar persona, despite the fact that he was still in his human form. “They weren’t careless, they were terrified,” you argued. “You can’t blame them for that.”  
  
“Oh, but do you think they would so easily let me take another? That they wouldn’t fight for each other? What if I had taken, say… Richie?” Your eyes flashed at him in warning, but he simply smiled and edged closer to you, not feeling threatened in the slightest. Instead, he continued to taunt you. “Poor Y/N. No one wants to play with you anymore. But don’t be sad. I’ll play with you.”  
  
It was obvious that there was a bit of truth to his mockery. They didn’t see you as one of them anymore. You had willingly chosen to mate with Pennywise and leave them behind. Hell, you had openly declared your love for him in front of everyone before your long rest. You could sense the betrayal and hurt from them the moment you saw them again. However, despite all of that, they would never willingly offer you as a sacrifice to save their own skin… would they?  
  
Pennywise could now sense the doubt in your mind, satisfied that the seed he had planted was being nurtured and growing, feasting on your paranoia. Especially since you weren’t currently thinking straight while your body wracked with need, stealing the air from your lungs as you found yourself actually starting to pant like a dog in heat… which, to be fair, you weren’t far off from. 

“Why are you fighting this?” he questioned, with seemingly genuine curiosity, tilting his head subtly as he inspected you.  
  
“I told you, I’m not fucking ready for kids!” you snapped, baring your teeth.  
  
“Your body says otherwise,” he insisted, running his tongue along his full bottom lip in anticipation. “You’re practically begging me to take you. I can feel your desire calling to me.”  
  
“Pennywise, please,” you begged, noticing the gap slowly closing between the two of you as he drew nearer. It took everything in you to deny him, considering how much you wanted to open yourself and just let him have his way with you, but the thought of being so vulnerable at a time when you two were at odds didn’t sit right with you. “Let’s just wait until the next cycle in another 27 years, please.”  
  
The smirk fell from his face as he scoffed at your request. “Sweet thing. You think you have a say? My patience is only a formality. You were warned. I told you what would happen when you went into heat. And now you’re all mine. Oh yes, mine to do with whatever I please, however I please, _ whenever _ I please. And I like pleasing you. That, I do. And you know that, too!”  
  
Gritting your teeth, you spat, “Y-you didn’t tell me that this would happen so quickly! I’ve barely been this way for a fucking week. I-I’m not in full control of my own body yet!”  
  
“Not my concern,” he replied airily, his indifference to your pain leaving you hurt and confused. 

“What if I refuse?!” you challenged, eyes boring into his as another wave of arousal hit you and made you flinch. “What are you going to do?”  
  
“I’m going to take you anyway,” he answered in a matter-of-fact tone, as if this entire conversation was a chore that he had to get through before getting what he really wanted.  
  
“Fuck you!” you spat, holding your stomach as a painful hot rush of yearning circulated through your body once more.  
  
He rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh, gazing at you with pity. “Foolish thing. Ignorant. Incapable of understanding. If you do not breed, w-... _ you _ will die.”  
  
“W-what?” you clamored, not comprehending his words.  
  
He growled, his impatience getting the better of him as he closed in on you. “Your heat will consume you if it is not satiated. I am trying to help relieve your torment. Let me satisfy you.”  
  
That’s when it occurred to you… he wasn’t intentionally trying to knock you up. He cared for you - in his own fucked up way. He knew that this was only going to get worse and probably significantly more painful if you waited, and he would rather take you against your will against your will if it meant saving you. It was both sweet and terrifying at the same time. So many aspects of your relationship were toxic, but you had thrown out any and all expectations regarding a healthy relationship when you fell for an ancient monster from another dimension. Or at least you thought you did.

“Wait…” you faltered, an upsetting thought occurring to you. “So you’re practically immortal and can survive easily on your own for millions of years, but I could die from something as ridiculous as not having sex with you? What kind of bullshit is that?!”  
  
He released a genuine laugh that echoed across the walls through your lair, the sound of it both soothing and horrifying. After collecting himself, he replied, “It is the burden of your role as my mate.”  
  
“You didn’t think to share this before I agreed to this change?” you seethed, annoyance flaring over your pained expression from the heat.  
  
“Your suffering will stop as soon as you let me take care of you,” he cooed, finally reaching for you and running the pads of his fingers over your cheek. Just the touch of his skin on yours soothed the burning ache for a fraction of a second and you immediately craved more.  
  
“Penn…” you murmured, reluctantly leaning into his touch.  
  
His nose nudged against your cheek as his tongue dipped from his lips, leaving a wet trail along your jawline. Your fingers curled around the back of his neck as you pulled him closer, needing more contact.  
  
Something inside of you was trying to convince you to try and protest more - to not give in so easily, but at that exact moment, agony surged through you, causing your knees to buckle from the pain. Before you could even react, Pennywise caught you, holding you against him as if he knew that his contact would ease the discomfort - and it did. Immensely.  
  
“Give yourself to me,” he whispered, his lips lightly caressing the shell of your ear. It was a request, but also a demand, which you no longer had the strength to deny.  
  
You released a needy whine as the slick from your core dripped further down your legs. Turning your head, you leaned your forehead against his as you bit your lip, internally debating with yourself on how to respond until finally, you relented. 

“Okay,” you whimpered, finally giving in. “I’m ready.”  
  
Pennywise immediately pressed his full lips against yours, devouring your mouth in a hungry kiss. He placed his hands under your bottom to lift you slightly before kicking your legs out from under you, not even bothering to try and make it back to the bed and instead laying you down on the stone floor, pressing himself on top of you.  
  
Both your clothes and his garments dissolved as you lost yourself in tangled limbs, kisses and licks. All coherent thought gone and acting on instinct as he was grinding against you.

You cried out as another throbbing cramp ripped through you, urging Pennywise to move faster and eliminate the torment from his mate as quickly as possible. It was both a selfless and selfish act on his part.  
  
“This,” he hissed as he cupped your arousal, earning a loud whine from you as you tried to grind into his palm. “This is all mine, I’m going to take you so deeply.”  
  
“Is… is this going to hurt?” you asked, not knowing what breeding would entail. He had insinuated that it would be different, which worried you, but also piqued your interest. 

“If you want it to,” he quipped, raising his eyebrows teasingly.  
  
You snarled, indicating your thin patience with his poor attempt at humor at a time like this. You wanted to ask him if he had heat cycles of his own and if they lined up with yours, but you knew that was a discussion for another time. Right now your mind was too clouded with lust, agony and hunger.

There was no need for foreplay as you were already worked up and wet, desperate to feel him in your aching heat. Arching against his chest, you were surprised how he didn’t make it a point to mock your obvious arousal. Instead, he was eager for it, running his lips and teeth down your collarbone to your breasts, tasting the sweat on your skin. 

You were hit with the familiar sensation of his tentacles crawling up your legs, wrapping themselves around your thighs and middle. Moving swiftly, they flipped you over effortlessly and positioned you on your belly. Pennywise roughly gripped your hips, his nails digging into your soft flesh while his tentacles held you in place. Instead of being scared, you found yourself keening, desperate for his touch to alleviate the torment you were going through.  
  
Without so much as a warning, he penetrated you, his girth stretching you wide as he bottomed out. As a human this would have split you in half, but your body was now able to accommodate his size easily. In fact, instead of it being an agonizing experience, it was immensely pleasurable, and you cried out in bliss as he pummeled into you, hitting every needy spot within you.

“You take me so well,” he grunted in between thrusts. “You’re all mine. You and your greedy little cunt. Oh yes, so desperate for my cock, aren’t we? Hmm?” 

His words went straight to your core, causing another wave of wetness to gush out of you, leaking with each plunge of his thick appendage. It seemed that the more you mated, the easier it was for him to relax and reveal his true nature. He never spoke so openly with you about what he wanted from you, but now the gloves were literally off and he was being brutally and somewhat crudely honest with you. It helped that you could actually sense his thoughts and feelings now.

When you didn’t answer, too caught up in your own thoughts, he grabbed your hair by the roots, yanking back harshly as you released a loud, sinful cry. Leaning forward, he extended his tongue to lick a stripe up your neck, his grip on your hair unforgiving as he continued to fuck you with abandon. “Answer me,” he growled into your ear. 

Unable to stop yourself from being a little shit, you spat, “F-Fuck you.”  
  
He chuckled darkly, his tentacles loosening their hold on you before he let go of your hair, shoving your head forward and flipping your body around so that you landed on your back. You barely had a moment to recover before his limbs wrapped themselves back around you, pulling you towards him as he nearly impaled you. “I’m going to fuck this disobedience out of you,” he grumbled, panting heavily from his exertion.  
  
You pushed yourself from your laid back position, your talons protruding from your fingertips before hooking them into his back, earning a hiss from him as he eyed you curiously, eyes blown with lust. “You can try,” you teased, smirking at him before surging forward, sinking your fangs into the chilled flesh of his shoulder, savoring the taste of his blood filling your mouth.  
  
He groaned wantonly, his body wracking from the pleasure of your aggression as you pulled back, the both of you watching the blood drift into the air from his wound before it closed shortly after. Catching you off-guard, he shoved you back. You landed with a loud thud on the ground as his hand gripped your throat, locked in place as he literally took your breath away.

Oxygen was no longer needed for you to survive, but your body was convinced it was. You knew from Pennywise that it could be altered, but that was still something you had yet to learn. So when your mate choked you, it had the desired effect, and he was well aware of it.  
  
As you gasped for air, his tentacles made their way all over your body, playing with your breasts and working your clit in a way that had you crying from pleasure. It didn’t take long for you to reach your high and you nearly blacked out from the sensation, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as Pennywise released your throat, allowing you to inhale deeply as you climaxed beneath him. Regardless of the fact that you had just finished, he refused to relent, penetrating you continuously as you spasmed from the aftershocks.  
  
His thrusts were gradually becoming slower and more erratic. Moments later, he fell forward, holding himself up with his arms as his head fell into the crook of your neck. He nuzzled you for a moment before he bit down _ hard_, sinking his teeth deeply into you. Locking his jaw, he held you in that position. He gave a few more nudges of his hips until you felt something stirring inside of you.  
  
Instinctually, you squirmed, wanting to separate yourself from Pennywise, but he kept you there with his weight and his bite, making it impossible for you to move as you felt something swelling up near your very core. How it was even possible for you to feel that, you couldn’t comprehend, but you definitely did. You felt _ everything_.

Panic started to take hold of you as fear crept into your mind. “Pennywise,” you whined. “Stop. Please, stop! I’m not ready!”  
  
He nudged you with his nose, still keeping his fangs buried in your flesh as he soothed you with his mind, attempting to pacify you with signals of tranquility and tenderness, insisting that you were going to be okay.  
  
Though your panic eased a bit, you could feel your heart hammering against your chest as he shifted his hips. Terrified of what was about to occur, you held your breath as you felt his cock retract from you, immediately replaced by another, colder appendage pressing deeply into you. A knot formed at the base, slowly edging closer to the top where it was nestled directly against your cervix. He groaned in a mixture of pleasure and relief as the bulge slipped from his opened tip and was pushed inside of you.  
  
Thinking the worst was over, you writhed, a silent request to get up, but he continued to hold you down, refusing to move. “What are you-...” Before you could finish, you felt another knot forming at the base of what you could only assume was an ovipositor of sorts slowly forcing its way inside you.  
  
“Oh, fuck that!” you shouted, now using more force to try and get away. It was a useless effort and he simply used his tentacles to wrap around you, holding you in place. You knew then that escape had never been an option.  
  
You growled, all the while feeling the bulge crawl up towards the tip. Still writhing underneath him, you snarled at your mate. “Penn, get the fuck off of me! There’s no way in hell I’m having twins!” To no avail, you continued to shout and move, threatening him until the mass nestled into your womb next to the other.  
  
Hot tears started to trail down your face as your will to fight started to fade, knowing that it was useless and that he had the advantage. When you felt the swell of a third knot, you wanted to die, overwhelmed with the sting of betrayal and resentment settling in. 

Much to your horror, he kept laying eggs inside of you, each new bulge earning a satisfied moan from Pennywise and a horrified shriek from you. Finally, after what felt like hours, his ovipositor had retracted, replaced with his swollen cock as he emptied his load into your cervix to complete the process. As he finished, his tentacles loosened along with his grip. He finally removed his teeth from you but continued to lay on top of you, shaking violently as if the entire process took a toll on his nerves and body.  
  
Instead of pushing him off of you, you remained still, concentrating on his ragged breathing and the tears falling down your face and into your hair. You felt so strange - oddly satisfied, and full, and heavy, as if the feeling of his offspring inside of you were pieces of yourself that you had been missing. You were relieved that the agony of your heat was gone, yet you also felt shattered - betrayed and used by your eternal lover. It left you feeling broken and hollow.  
  
Pennywise was reading your thoughts as he lifted his head and swallowed thickly, knowing that he would now have to face the consequences of his actions. You refused to meet his gaze as he silently begged you to look at him.  
  
He realized that you were currently inconsolable, so he lifted himself from you, peering down at you as he got to his feet. When you didn’t make a move to get up, he bent down to help you. You snapped viciously at him, missing him by a hair as you snarled, “Don’t _ fucking _ touch me!”  
  
He backed off, lingering only for a moment before he murmured softly, “In time you’ll understand.” You immediately felt the absence of his presence as he dissipated into the darkness, leaving you sad, alone and scared on the cold, dirty floor of your home. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warnings* More dark elements in this chapter. The reader is trying to mentally cope with forced impregnation. There’s self-hatred, self-blame, and more. I know these chapters have been super heavy, but it will get better! Hang in there!

It had been hours since the assault, and you still couldn’t bring yourself to move. Your entire body was screaming at you in discomfort, and what’s worse is that you were starving. The dried tears on your skin left your face feeling sticky. Your hair was grimy from laying on the dirty floor, and your entire form felt disgusting. Used. Taken advantage of. 

It wasn’t like you didn’t agree to being intimate, so was this technically your fault? Were you not clear enough with your mate? No, fuck that. You told him specifically that you didn’t want to have his offspring - at least not for a long time, and he took that choice away from you. Even if it meant your death, it should have been your decision to make, and you would have dealt with it when the time came.

A shower sounded heavenly, but then again, did you even need to bathe? In all the time you knew Pennywise, you had never seen him clean himself, so could you just will the dirt away? Even so, the actual process of surrounding yourself with steam, hot water, and soap seemed blissful and therapeutic after what you’d just been through. 

After a few more moments of reflection, you had forced yourself to sit up. You could physically feel the extra weight that was now taking up residence in your womb. Your body ached from the intrusion, making you stomach feel strangely full. Trying to distract yourself, you contemplated where you could take a shower. Since your aunt’s old house probably had a new family in it, you thought it best to transport to the inn that Richie and the rest of the Losers were staying at to use their facilities.   
  
Closing your eyes and concentrating on where you wanted to go, you knew that you had made it to Richie’s room when you noticed the scattered clothes on the bed that smelled like him. Ew, who would have ever thought that you would actually find comfort in the scent of your little cousin? 

Entering the bathroom and after dissolving your clothes, you stepped into the tub, closing the curtain behind you and turning on the faucet, gauging the temperature. Once it was scalding hot, you turned the knob and relished in the water spraying down your body. Going through the motions of your shower, you tried not to think about what had occurred between you and your mate, but it was hard to think of anything else. It was difficult to fathom. Here you stood, stronger than you had ever been in your life, and yet you had never felt so weak… so used… so lost. 

Unable to keep the memories at bay, you began losing your composure. Giving in, you curled in on yourself, dropping to the floor of the tub. You wrapped your arms around your legs to rest your head on your knees and began sobbing uncontrollably beneath the stream of water.   
  
Unsure of how many minutes had passed, a sound coming from the bedroom alerted you to someone else’s presence. “Who the fuck is in here?” a familiar voice called out before opening the bathroom door. “Hello?”   
  
Without warning, the curtain to the tub was ripped open. Even though you were being intruded on, you couldn’t bring yourself to sit up, still curled into a fetal position and crying. “Y/N? What the fuck are you doing here?”   
  
Large hands reached forward and shut the water off, finally forcing you to look up. Through your mess of wet hair, you saw your cousin staring down at you with fear and unease. The moment your eyes met, your face crumpled and you bowed your head again to sob heavily, the intensity of it wracking your entire body.   
  
“What happened?” he asked, his voice laced with concern. “What’s wrong?” You could sense his apprehension, frightened of the fact that you were here. The last thing he knew, you were doubled over in pain before Pennywise came and snatched you away, leaving the Losers to assume the worst. Regardless, after contemplating the consequences, he bent down to affectionately place his hands on your bare shoulders, neither of you worried about your lack of clothing. “Please talk to me.”   
  
Swallowing thickly, you willed yourself dry with clean and comfortable clothes, causing him to jump back in surprise, not yet used to your new abilities. After taking a moment to adjust, he reached for you again, helping you to your feet as you stepped out of the tub and back into the bedroom, the both of you taking a seat on his bed. 

As you tried to compose yourself, you were plagued by his fears as they fractured your subconscious. There were different scenarios of Pennywise and an array of ways that he had hurt you. Even worse, there were images of you hurting others; innocent people for your own sick pleasure. It bothered you that Richie could even think that, but you knew that he was just assuming the worst, and didn’t mean anything by it. He couldn’t put a filter on his own thoughts. 

Wiping your face, you met his eyes, opening your mouth to speak, but instead what came out was more sobs. Without another word, Richie pulled you close to him, unbothered by the tears that were now staining his shirt as you cried into his chest, relishing in the feeling of his arms protectively wrapped around you.   
  
“It’s okay,” he cooed, running his hand down your hair soothingly as he let you cry. “Whatever happened, it’s going to be okay. You can talk to me.” 

Before you could explain yourself, you felt the presence of two more people nearby, coming closer to you by the second. “Richie?” one of them called out before entering the bedroom. 

“Oh…” You had recognized the voice of Ben before you and Richie both glanced over to see him and Beverly standing awkwardly in the doorway. “Um… we didn’t know you were here, Y/N. We just came to make sure that Richie wasn’t making a run for it.”   
  
“Does it look like I’m running?” Richie replied, rolling his eyes and snuggling you tighter. “Wait, where’s Bill?”   
  
Ben grimaced, rubbing his neck anxiously. “Apparently he went to the fair. Pennywise antagonized him and he ran after him.”   
  
“Alone?” Richie asked, clearly worried. 

Ben nodded his head, eyes flickering between you and Richie, indicating that he didn’t want to reveal too much just in case it had something to do with your current situation.   
  
“Y/N… are you okay?” Beverly asked, walking towards you hesitantly, ignoring Ben as he placed his hand on her shoulder in warning.   
  
Before you even had a chance to respond, the smell of blood hit you like a freight train. Considering how hungry you were, your eyes flashed brightly and your fangs protruded from your mouth, despite your best efforts to stop them. 

Richie released you immediately, scooting back on the bed, not understanding what was happening. Suddenly, Eddie appeared in the doorway, blood pouring from his mouth, earning a yelp from Beverly. 

“Bowers is in my room.” His voice was eerily calm as he spoke, blood dripping down his face as he fell against the wall, sliding down to the floor.   
  
Ben immediately ran out and darted towards Eddie’s room while Beverly and Richie jumped to his aid, leaving you to collect yourself and use all of your self control not to eat Eddie right then and there.   
  
Ben came back shortly after, upset that Bowers had gotten away. Instead of going after him, they decided that it was more important to escort Eddie to the hospital.   
  
“I’m going to stay here with Y/N,” Beverly announced as they started carrying him out of the room. 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Ben asked, eyeing you skeptically, ignoring Richie’s glare. Luckily, you had been able to force your fangs back in and keep away from Eddie. How you managed to have that kind of self-control, you didn’t know. 

“We’ll be fine,” she insisted, taking a seat next to you on the bed. “Just keep us posted with how Eddie is doing.”   
  
Ben stilled for a moment, internally debating if he should actually leave her alone with you until Richie snapped his fingers in front of Ben’s face and shouted, “Fabio! Come on! Get a move on!”   
  
Giving you a stern glance, they eventually made their way out, leaving you and Beverly alone. Hesitantly, she placed her hand over yours, which had been resting on your lap while the other wiped the remaining tears from your eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked in a gentle tone. 

“I’m not sure that it’s anything you want to hear,” you mumbled, refusing to meet her eyes. 

“That look you have…” she trailed off, pausing for a moment to take a deep breath. “I’ve seen it before. _ I _’ve had that look before. Did he hurt you?” 

Finally looking up, your brows furrowed in confusion, you unblocked your mind, allowing her thoughts to flood into yours. Terrible images of a number of abusers played out, ranging from her father, to her boyfriends, and even to her current husband. They harmed her physically, mentally, and even sexually. Due to personal experience, she had understood your sufferings and wanted to bring you comfort.   
  
Taking her hand in yours, you nodded, letting more tears trail down your face. “He forced me…” you began. 

“Forced you to what?” 

Both you and Beverly jolted at the sound of Richie’s deep voice from the door frame, watching the two of you with his arms crossed, looking angry.   
  
“Richie?” Beverly asked. “What happened? Where’s Eddie and Ben?”   
  
“Ben took him to the hospital and asked me to stay behind,” he replied, tilting his head in a not-so-subtle way of letting her know that he stayed behind to make sure that you didn’t kill her. Looking back to you, he asked again, “What did that fucker force you to do?” 

Swallowing thickly and composing yourself once more, you took a deep breath before replying. “Now that I’m this way, I have… uh… a heat cycle.”   
  
“What, like… a dog?” Richie asked, earning a glare from Beverly.   
  
“Kind of,” you replied. “Pennywise said that these heats are strong enough where they can kill me if it’s not… taken care of,” you hinted, causing Richie to grimace. “He said that it had to be more than just mating. He had to impregnate me.”   
  
You felt the tension in the room heighten as soon as you said the words, now refusing to meet either of their gazes. “I told him that I wasn’t ready, and that I didn’t want to have kids. At least… not right now, but he didn’t listen.” Just going over what had happened was bringing it all back, causing your throat to swell with emotion and more tears returning to your eyes as you fought to get the words out. “He forced them inside of me.”   
  
“Forced what?” Beverly asked, her voice barely above a whisper.   
  
“I’m not sure,” you replied through a choked sob. “I don’t know if it was eggs, or pods, or living things. I didn’t see them, but there were several of them. I tried to tell him that I didn’t want them, but he didn’t listen, and now…” you trailed off, holding your abdomen for emphasis as you shook your head, not wanting to say it out loud. 

It remained quiet for a moment until Richie’s voice cut through the silence. “That. Mother. Fucker.”   
  
Both you and Beverly looked up at him, taken aback by the hatred and anger in his eyes. “I’ll fucking kill him. I was gonna kill him before, but now, I’m really going to make him suffer.”   
  
“Richie…” Beverly began, hinting for him to quit while he was ahead.   
  
“Don’t ‘Richie’ me!” he snapped. “He fucking assaulted her! He forced his disgusting little demon spawn inside of her! What’s going to happen now, huh? Are they going to eat her from the inside out? Is she going to hatch like dozens more of whatever the fuck he is?! We have no fucking clue! And there’s nothing we can do about it! It’s not like we can just reach in and pluck them out!”   
  
“What did you say?” you interrupted, getting to your feet.   
  
The look on his face indicated that he thought that he had insulted you and was frightened of your response. “I mean-… I don’t want-... I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings.”   
  
“No, Richie, stop,” you demanded, an idea occurring to you. “What did you say about reaching in and taking them out?” 

His brows furrowed at you in disbelief as he put the pieces together. “That was a joke. Are you proposing an alien abortion? You can’t be serious.”   
  
Shrugging your shoulders you replied, “Why not? It’s only been a few hours. There’s no way they’ve had time to settle. I would have felt that, right?”   
  
“I don’t fucking know!” he shouted, his voice raised an octave. “This isn’t the god damned X-Files! Do I look like a damn extraterrestrial doctor?!”

Formulating a plan, you mumbled, “You’re going to have to be,” before heading towards the bathroom, motioning for the other two to follow you. 

Surprisingly, they did so without any objection, baffled as you got into the tub and lay down, facing them.   
  
“Y/N,” Beverly began. “I don’t think that this is a good idea. You could die.”   
  
“We’ve seen Pennywise get stabbed, lose limbs, get ripped apart, and practically have all the blood drained from him, and yet he’s still alive. I don’t think that losing a little bit of blood is going to kill me,” you insisted, lifting up your shirt to expose the flesh of your belly.   
  
“You don’t know that,” Richie countered, a worried expression on his face. 

Grabbing his hand, you begged him with your eyes to go along with it. “Please, Richie. I can’t… this doesn’t feel right. I can’t have these things inside of me.”  
  
After a moment of hesitation, he nodded, getting to his knees. “What do you need us to do?”   
  
You extended your talon so that it was black and razor sharp, causing the other two to flinch.   
“I’m not sure how quickly I’ll heal, so when I cut myself open, I need you guys to grab whatever it is you find inside that looks like it shouldn’t be there.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Richie interjected, shaking his head. “How are we supposed to know what should and shouldn’t be in there?”   
  
“There’s no guarantee that this will work,” Beverly interrupted. “Are you sure that you want to do this?”   
  
“Yes,” you confirmed sternly. “Please… please help me?”   
  
Sighing heavily, Richie nodded, helping Beverly to her knees as she joined him next to the tub, preparing herself to dig into your organs.   
  
“Ready?” you asked, placing the tip of your claw at your skin. 

“No,” Richie answered, swallowing thickly.   
  
Rolling your eyes, you took a deep breath, steadying yourself before plunging your nail into your skin as deep as it would go, slicing across your belly. Biting your lip to keep from screaming, you felt yourself tear through your muscle, deeper and deeper until you reached your mark. Blood started to seep into the air, floating above you as Richie and Beverly looked on in awe, fascinated by the sight.   
  
Reaching the end of your stomach and into your womb, you pulled the skin back before screaming at the two, “Now!”   
  
The look of terror and disgust on their faces would haunt you forever as Beverly reached in first, the touch of her skin on your sensitive exposed insides causing an entirely new level of agony as she dug through your organs.   
  
Richie jumped up, scrambling to the toilet where he vomited violently, his body shaking as he continued heaving. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to be of any help to you.   
  
Suddenly you felt Beverly’s hands come in contact with what she was looking for and you yelled, “There! That’s it! Pull it out!” 

Enclosing her hand around the object, she struggled to break its hold, clearly somehow attached to your body. Finally, after giving it a strong tug, it detached and she pulled it out.   
  
It was beautiful. Despite the fact that it was covered in your blood and other bodily fluids, it was mesmerizing. It was clearly an egg sac of some sort, maroon in color and glistening with metallic-like specs.   
  
You choked out a sob, feeling a wave of sadness wash over you as it left your body, but it also felt like a relief to have it gone. “Just leave it in the tub,” you demanded, noticing her conflicted expression. Placing it into the tub in between your legs, she raised her eyebrows at you, silently requesting permission to dig further.   
  
“Do it,” you urged. “You too, Richie.” He had returned by your side, completely grossed out, but nodded his head in agreement.   
  
Several agonizing minutes later, it seemed that your entire body was being torn apart with each egg that they pulled out of you. You had lost count after ten, your mind fogging with the pain that was overtaking you. 

“I don’t feel anymore,” Beverly stated, running her bloody fingers through your insides.   
  
“Me neither,” Richie added, trying not to vomit again. “I think you’re good.”   
  
Finally, your hands dropped, allowing the skin and muscle to rest back down, immediately starting to heal once it was back in place. It was obvious that you had lost a lot of blood, and you were fighting with all you had to keep your eyes open. You were starving, and had you not been so weak, you probably would have ripped out their jugulars. Luckily, for all of you, in your current state, that wasn’t even remotely possible.   
  
“Y/N” Richie’s voice echoed through your mind as you began to drift. “Come on, get up.”   
  
You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. You could feel yourself fading, and you weren’t ready. Knowing that this was always a possibility, you told yourself that you would have the strength to fight through it because there was no way that you could leave Richie and the rest of the Losers alone in the world with Pennywise. Especially when Pennywise caught onto what they had helped you do.   
  
Finally, just as you felt yourself slipping away, you had sensed a familiar presence… and it filled you with dread. The rage and anguish emitting from him was enough to suffocate you and make your body quiver in distress.   
  
“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Your mate’s voice was eerily calm compared to the wrath you had felt in his mind. “What do we have here? Hmm… no, no, no. This won’t do. Tell me… didn’t your parents ever teach you not to touch what isn’t yours?” 

Before you could interject or make a move to save your friends, the darkness had consumed you entirely.


	9. Chapter 9

Red. That’s all you could recall as you started to regain consciousness. The color red. Even from behind closed eyes, you could see it… sense it… and smell it. The color was everywhere, all around you, and you couldn’t help but relish in it and everything that it represented. 

Darting your tongue out from behind your lips, you licked at the corner of your mouth. Your taste buds were met with a tangy sweetness that brought your senses to life, encouraging you to wake from your unconscious state. 

A sudden sensation was crawling up your skin, starting from your legs and making its way up to your chest. It didn’t take long for you to realize that it was hands. They were caressing your skin softly, smearing the warm liquid around as if you were a canvas and the hands were brush strokes.    
  
Opening your eyes, you were met with blazing yellow orbs staring back at you, reflecting in the darkness like a wild animal, consuming you from the inside out. It didn’t take long for you to realize that it was your mate staring down at you. 

“Kiss me,” he urged, leaning down to nuzzle his nose against yours. “As if it were the last time…”    
  
So, you did. Lifting your head up, you pressed your mouth hungrily against his, the taste of blood present on his lips as you licked across them, eager for more.    
  
Breaking the kiss, he whispered huskily against your ear, “Are you satisfied?”    
  
You pondered this for a moment. Why wouldn’t you be? Looking past him, you raised your eyebrows in surprise when you saw the pile of corpses at your feet. There looked to be about five humans there. Or, at least… what was left of them. There was hardly anything remaining other than bone fragments and pieces of tissue. That’s when you had realized why you felt so full and why the both of you were covered in blood. More than that… you felt strong. Empowered. And… aroused.    
  
Biting your lip, you gazed hungrily at him, eyes flickering between his face and his lower half. He smirked, his full, plush lips still shiny with remnants of warm blood.    
  
The familiar sensation of his monster cock growing and sliding over your blood-covered thighs made you tremble as he lowered his head and captured your mouth in a kiss. Promptly finding your entrance, he forcefully penetrated you, knocking the breath out of your lungs as he thrust forward.    
  
Your talons extended, burying themselves into the flesh of his shoulders as he hissed at the sensation, rocking his hips back and forth in a fluid motion, earning soft moans from the both of you. 

Happiness radiated from you as he continued to fuck you mercilessly. Your skin tingled beneath his touch, the slick and smell of the blood making the intercourse that much more euphoric. You were now fulfilled in every way and you wished that it could be like this forever. That’s what he promised you, isn’t it? That’s what your life with him was supposed to be. 

So… why did you have a knot in the pit of your stomach? Why did this suddenly feel so wrong? 

He could sense your thoughts descending into troubling territory. To keep your attention, he grabbed a handful of your hair, yanking your head closer to him as he rested his forehead against yours. “Stay with me,” he urged between heavy breaths as he continued to thrust into you.    
  
For a moment, you allowed yourself to forget the anxious feeling in your gut, forcing yourself to enjoy the moment with the love of your eternal life, but it didn’t last long. Flashes of disturbing images and emotions started to plague your mind. You felt terrified and devastated all at once. The memory of Richie’s angry eyes haunted you along with Beverly’s sorrowful expression. Something was wrong.    
  
Pennywise emitted a snarl, practically ripping your hair from the roots as he shook you, his hips still snapping into yours, fucking you deeply. “Y/N. Stop. Now. Focus on me.  _ Only  _ me.”    
  
He didn’t want you to see. He didn’t want you to remember. Why? What was so important that he wanted you to forget?    
  
“Get off,” you murmured softly, pushing at his shoulders, which didn’t seem to do anything. 

As if he didn’t hear you, he kept at it, his thrusts becoming more erratic and uncoordinated, indicating that he was reaching his end. You didn’t care. “Pennywise, enough. Get off of me right now.”    
  
This felt familiar. The terrified feeling of Pennywise inside of you, pummeling into you without your consent. The memories were flooding back, causing your entire body to shake with fear and anger.    
  
Bubbling to the surface, your rage reached a head as you bared your fangs, piercing the flesh of his shoulders with your claws as you shoved forward forcefully, growling as you bellowed, “I said get the fuck off of me!”    
  
He was thrown back with such force that he landed across the dark space, hitting the ground hard. You had fully expected him to be angry with your aggressive treatment of him, especially after interrupting his impending orgasm. Much to your surprise, instead, he simply stood up, dusted off his palms, and finally met your gaze with a dejected one of his own. 

A part of you immediately wanted to comfort him - an involuntary reaction to seeing your mate in emotional distress, but you wouldn’t. No, not after what he did to you… to the both of you.

Breaking the intense stare, he looked down, eyes wandering for a moment, lost in his thoughts that he was blocking you from before he walked to the edge of the cavern, stepping into what appeared to be a small and stagnant waterhole. 

You watched in fascination as he dipped into the water before he began to bathe himself, washing the copious amounts of blood off of his chest and arms before dunking his head beneath the surface of the water, lingering there for far too long for any creature that required to breathe ever could. Finally, he emerged, pushing his hair out of his face with his large hands, looking incredibly attractive as the water dripped down his eyelashes and past his lips. 

Opening his eyes, he kept his expression neutral as he extended his arm in a silent request for you to join him. Shaking your head, you took a step back to emphasize your refusal. He tilted his head and furrowed his brow, eyes raking over your nude, bloody body before pleading softly, “Please?”    
  
That bastard. He never asked for permission for anything, let alone in such a pathetically endearing way. He knew how it tore at your heartstrings when he was this way with you. 

A difficult battle was playing out in your mind. He hurt you. Badly. To the point where it would forever change your relationship, and yet… you still loved him. The thought of that made you feel pathetic and weak, unable to cope with the trauma and feeling like you were trying to make excuses for him, or brush it under the rug like it was nothing.    
  
Before too long, your legs started moving, bringing you closer and closer to your mate until you found yourself there in the water next to him. You had expected him to wash the blood from you as he had done to himself, but instead, he extended his tongue and ran it along your skin. He started from your hands, working his way up your arms, onto your chest, and finally to your neck, making sure to lap up every spare drop of blood.    
  
He was an enigma. This creature had a way of making you forget all of your inhibitions, disabling you at your core so that you weren’t able to remember why you held a grudge in the first place. 

Finally, when he felt as though you were properly cleansed with his tongue, he retracted it, brushing against your jaw with his pointed nose that you adored so much. It was far too easy to get lost in his touch, and if you didn’t force yourself to confront him now, you didn’t know if you ever would. 

Swimming back from him, you plunged beneath the water, scrubbing your scalp to rid yourself of the remaining blood. Returning to the surface, you wiped your eyes, your gaze quickly met with two fiery orbs shining in the dark. “Pennywise…”   
  
He hummed gently in response, remaining where he was rather than intrude on what little space there was between you in the small pool of water. 

Grasping at the faint amount of courage you had, you took a deep breath before speaking again, knowing that it could very well be the last thing you ever said. “You ruined us.” 

The heat from his gaze was so intense that it almost burned through your very soul. Still, he remained silent, emitting a very subtle twinge of anger that you felt in your mind. Regardless, you continued. “You ruined any chance we had at happiness. I gave you everything, and still it wasn’t enough.”    
  
His upper lip quivered in anger, glaring at you with quiet intensity. “I gave up my entire life for you. I defended you. I almost died for you… and this is how you choose to start our life together? By forcing your weird egg spawn inside of me?! You’re disgusting. You’re pathetic! You’re…”    
  
There was plenty left to say, and yet, you were distracted. You had expected him to cut you off by now, clutching your throat and crushing your vocal chords, but instead you were rendered speechless without him so much as lifting a finger. He didn’t move. He didn’t argue. He didn’t even look angry anymore. 

“I want to know why,” you choked out, tears spilling over your eyes and blending in with the droplets of water on your cheeks. “Why do you keep ruining things? Are you really that selfish? Do I really mean that little to you?”

His eyes searched yours as he took in your words, his Adam’s apple moving distinctly as he swallowed, almost as if he was trying to refrain from crying, but that wouldn’t be possible. Pennywise didn’t have emotions like that. He was driven only by hunger in every form, and he was never going to change. 

“Answer me!” you snapped, shoving your palms against his chest in anger. In an instant, his hands were around your wrists, bringing you closer to him. Initially, you were going to struggle against him, but the look in his eyes had you frozen, eager to hear what he had to say.    
  
“You…” he began, clearly struggling to find the words as his thumbs rubbed small circles on the surface of your hands. “You are my life.”    
  
“Yeah, well… you have a fucked up way of showing it,” you scolded, but still remaining in his grasp. “You’ve done nothing but hurt me.”    
  
“There are many things you don’t understand,” he insisted, his reluctance to divulge anything more was evident.    
  
“Then tell me!” Against your better judgement, you removed one hand from his hold and placed it on his cheek, to which he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. “Stop keeping me in the dark! I am your  _ mate _ , Pennywise. Forever. I can handle whatever it is that you’re keeping from me. I am not a fragile human anymore. You’re going to have to start trusting me.”    
  
Still, he looked unsure as his gaze poured into yours, the wall in his mind giving way a bit so that you could feel his reluctance and nervousness, a trait that you had rarely felt from him. Typically, he oozed confidence and his ego was enormous, but with you, it often faltered.    
  
Since he still seemed hesitant, you continued. “I don’t know everything about your past, and I don’t know how it works with partners where you’re from. Maybe your distant actions would be considered normal, but you’re not there anymore, Penn. You’re  _ here  _ with me. We make our own rules. If you want to keep me, you have to be honest with me. It’s been a constant battle with you since we first met. Stop putting walls up and let me see you,” you demanded, taking his head in your hands and pulling him closer to rest your forehead against his. 

Touching your lips against his you whispered, “I can’t take much more of this, Penn. Please… talk to me.” 

He then tilted his head to fully press his pillowed lips softly against yours as his large hands gripped your hips tightly, pulling you against him so that your legs wrapped around his middle, allowing him to hold you steady in the water as you broke the kiss and gave him a desperate expression.    
  
Finally, the block in his mind fell and he spoke. “I couldn’t let you lay among the weeds.”    
  
“What do you mean?” you asked, running your thumb along his jawline as he continued. 

“As part of my species, when a mate experiences their first heat, they need to be filled with potential offspring.”    
  
“But… Pennywise, I told you, I didn’t want to be a parent yet-”    
  
He pressed a finger to your lips in a silent request for you to let him speak without interruption, to which you obliged, nodding your head in understanding. “The eggs are dormant until they no longer aren’t.”    
  
Your confused expression made the corner of his mouth lift slightly in an amused grin before he continued. “See me,” he urged, pressing his head against yours once more, indicating his request for you to read his now unblocked mind.    
  
Still not yet proficient in this skill, it took you a moment to reach what it was that you were looking for. However, when you found it, you were all-consumed. It was like envisioning his thoughts and memories in the form of a film. Flashes of creatures from his past danced before your eyes, revealing their mating rituals. As if you needed reminding, you and Pennywise were not like the species of this dimension. You had to forget everything you thought you knew of procreation as a human being. None of it applied to your current predicament, nor would it ever again.   
  
Digging deeper, it was revealed to you that the eggs were similar to Deadlights in that they provided a life source. They are what continues to ensure your survival. Without them, you would die a slow and excruciating death.    
  
Pennywise mentally revealed what happened to the creatures that weren’t gifted with the eggs of their mates. The agony and gruesome death that became of them took your breath away, and it was too much to bare. It almost made you break the connection between the two of you until something else was revealed that caught your attention. 

Not only did one mate waste away… but so did their counterparts. Their life source was connected, and whatever happened to one of them, in turn happened to the other. If you hadn’t accepted the eggs, not only would you have died, but you would have killed Pennywise as well.    
  
Even still, more was revealed. Each egg donor is given only a certain amount of eggs. When they are originally given, the creature is invincible as the eggs provide infinite life. However, when they give a number of them to their mate, they’re also giving away part of their own life source, rendering them weaker. The less you have, the more vulnerable you are on your own. As a unit, you’re stronger than the other was before.    


That’s when it clicked. Pennywise injected you with so many eggs because not only did he  _ not  _ want you to die, he wanted you to be protected. He kept only a few eggs for himself so that you could have the majority and in turn have more life. He not only saved your life, but he gave up part of his own life for you. 

It was too much. You broke the contact, releasing a shaky breath that you didn’t realize you were holding. When you opened your eyes, you saw that his eyes were brimming with tears threatening to spill over at any second. Pennywise was crying. Actually crying. Holy shit.   
  
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice cracking as he spoke. “I never meant to hurt you.”    
  
“Shh,” you urged, caressing his cheek comfortingly with your hand as you watched in fascination as the tears started to trail down his face. “You shouldn’t have kept this from me, Pennywise. I could have handled it. We’re in this together. I would have understood.”    
  
“I didn’t… I didn’t want you to regret it.”    
  
“Regret what?” you pressed, wiping his tears away. “Becoming your mate?” He nodded subtly in return, unable to look away from you. “Pennywise, I need you to listen to me,” you insisted, eyes boring into his own blazing ones. “I love you. You are my world, and I do not regret my decision to spend the rest of my life with you.”    
  
He grinned at that, waves of elation hitting your subconscious in drones. “That said…” you continued, earning a flash of anxiousness from your mate. “You hurt me. You kept this from me, and made me think that you were forcefully impregnating me. I can’t just forget that feeling. You left me alone, scared, and heartbroken. On top of that, you keep trying to disassociate me from the only family I have left. That’s not okay…” 

His guilty expression was almost enough to make you forgive everything that he had done… but not quite. That’s when a horrifying thought occurred to you. “Um, Pennywise? What happened to Richie and Beverly when you found me? Please, tell me you didn’t…” The blood drained from your face as you glanced towards the unnamed pile of corpses the two of you had consumed in your weakened state.    
  
“They’re alive,” he interrupted bitterly, easing your sense of dread. “If you weren’t on the brink of death, weakening us both, they wouldn’t be. Those bodies are humans that were easily picked off and wouldn’t be missed.”

You huffed, annoyed with his brutality, but also immensely relieved that your family was safe. “Did you already forget what I literally just asked you to do? Please, stop trying to slaughter my family.”    
  
“They were killing you,” he countered, gritting his teeth. 

“Not intentionally! I told them to! Speaking of… what happened to the eggs that they pulled out?”    
  
He gave you an aggravated glance before he asked cynically. “Are you alive?”    
  
Confused by the question, you replied, “I… think so?”    
  
He sighed with playful annoyance before his eyes flickered to your abdomen, hinting at their placement. “You put them back?!” you yelped, instinctually reached to grasp as your lower belly.    
  
Scoffing in response, he snapped back, “Of course I did! I will not lose you.”    
  
The intensity and aggression in his voice shook you to your core. It was blatantly clear that it was basic instinct for him to keep you alive, no matter the consequence… even if that meant you hating him. “But… that doesn’t mean that I’m pregnant… right? It just means that I have the  _ potential  _ to be pregnant?”    
  
“Yes,” he breathed, nuzzling his nose against your neck. The sensation was sending shivers down your body.    
  
“I don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell me that before. I would have understood. I want you to promise me that you won’t hurt me like that again. No more secrets.”   
  
You sensed the hesitation from him, which you had admittedly expected. It was within his nature to resist vulnerability and open communication, and considering how long he had been alive, this was all new territory for him. It was a learning process for the both of you.    
  
“I will try,” he finally answered, meeting your heated gaze with his own.    
  
Smiling genuinely for the first time in what seemed like forever, you nodded your head in agreement. “I’ll take it.”    
  
The familiar smirk that turned you into putty adorned his lips before he surged forward, kissing you deeply and hungrily with an urgency that you had desperately needed.   
  
“Tell me you love me,” you pleaded against his lips, your core now throbbing with desire.    
  
A twinge in your mind indicated that he was allowing you to feel his adoration for you mentally, but that wasn’t good enough. “No, I want you to  _ tell  _ me,” you demanded, grinding your bare folds down onto his erect cock, earning a wanton moan from your mate.    
  
“You know that I do,” he countered, thrusting against your heat, meeting your movements.    
  
Baring your fangs and nibbling at the skin in the crook of his neck, you murmured. “I want to hear you say it.”    
  
A growl emitted from the back of his throat as he gripped your hips roughly, which would have surely left deep bruises had you still been human.    
  
Finally, he pulled away, meeting your eyes with his bright blue orbs before speaking clearly. “I love you. I love you more than I am capable of loving anything. More than I ever thought possible. What I feel for you goes beyond any capacity of love. You… are my reason for existing.”    
  
Well, fuck. If that didn’t hit you right in the feels.    
  
Swallowing down a sob, you closed your eyes, replaying the words over and over again in your mind before you felt his lips on yours again as he kissed you roughly before making passionate love to you as the world seemed to fade away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was probably the most difficult chapter I've ever written. How do you feel about their relationship now? Are Pennywise's actions justified? Was reader too quick to give into soft Penn? Has he redeemed himself? I'm very interested in everyone's thoughts!


	10. Chapter 10

Sleep had become a strange and infrequent occurrence. As a human, you needed sleep every night in order to recharge. As you were now, sleep was optional. At least… until your body forced you to hibernate for almost thirty years at a time. However, other than that, it wasn’t something that you _ needed _in order to obtain energy on a daily basis. Instead, it was similar to deep meditation. You could fall into unconsciousness and feel the world around you in a more profound way than you ever could before. Alternatively, you could turn it all off and reflect in complete silence, utterly undisturbed by your own thoughts or the thoughts of those around you.

A tickling sensation on your lower belly brought you back to reality after you had slipped into your meditative state following the lengthy and physically demanding make-up sex between you and your mate. Your eyes fluttered open as you looked down to see Pennywise laying on your chest, using your breasts as his own personal pillows as he traced patterns with the pads of his fingers on the exposed skin of your stomach. His deep purr was vibrating against your torso, comforting you as you both lay there peacefully.   
  
Sensing your alertness, he ceased his movements and slid down to your pelvis, turning around so that he could face you. Stretching your limbs, you groaned in satisfaction as the tightness in your muscles gave way before you became comfortable again, grinning at your love.   
  
“You have the cutest nose,” you blurted out, unable to stop yourself.   
  
“It’s not my nose,” he replied nonchalantly, not at all flattered by your compliment.   
  
Rolling your eyes, you sighed in annoyance, “I know it’s not your _ actual _ nose. But, the nose that you chose for your human form is adorable and honestly, I’m kind of obsessed with it.”   
  
He wrinkled his nose and scowled at you, as if the thought of you focusing on that part of him made him uncomfortable. Much to his dismay, the action made you swoon over the cuteness even more, making you giggle. 

Hoping to distract you, he slithered further up your body until he was fully laying on top of you while he crossed his arms over your chest, propping his head up as he gazed at you. “How do you feel?”  
  
Narrowing your eyes suspiciously, you replied, “You know how I feel. You know everything that’s in my mind, all the time.”   
  
“Formalities,” he commented candidly as he shrugged his shoulders, the action so human that it caught you off guard.   
  
Smiling, you caressed his face with your fingers, contentment flooding through you. “I’m happy.” 

The corner of his full lips stretched into a grin at your remark as he lifted up and kissed you deeply. You wrapped your legs around his hips to pull him closer to you as he continued to kiss you longingly for a few minutes until he shifted and lay beside you, his eyes searching yours while your mind wandered.   
  
“No,” he answered your unspoken question. “This changes nothing.”   
  
Your face fell at his response. Concerns of the Losers harming - or worse, _ killing _ the two of you plagued your mind. It’s not like they kept their plans to maim or murder Pennywise a secret, but you doubted that they knew that would harm you as well. You couldn’t help but wonder if that would even matter. Was it more important to them to end Pennywise, even if it meant your death as well?   
  
His fingers found their way into your hair, twirling the soft strands around his long digits as he continued addressing your troubling thoughts. “They are insignificant humans. They won’t kill us.”   
  
“But… are they capable of killing us?” you pressed, still not convinced of your safety. “Is there any chance that they actually can?”   
  
He frowned, refusing to meet your eyes as he answered, “Yes. They can.”   
  
You worried your lip, unable to stop yourself from picturing all the ways they could possibly slaughter the two of you, but it only made Pennywise chuckle, earning a glare from you in return. “Silly, silly, silly. They don’t know our secret. They can slice, and carve, and cut all they want, but they are no match for the Eater of Worlds.”   
  
“So, they _ can _ kill us, but you’re not concerned? Is that supposed to make me feel better?”   
  
He cocked his head, grinning at you with an amused gleam in his eye. “No, my dearest. We are eternal. To end us is nearly impossible. Too far beyond the comprehension of humans.”

“Well… what about the eggs? Now that you don’t have as many, aren’t you more susceptible to harm? That makes you an easier target, right?”   
  
His eyes searched yours for a moment, contemplating his answer before he replied. “I will not die.” 

He silently urged you to peer into his thoughts for a more in-depth answer. You were able to see that surface wounds that he so easily brushed off in the past would now be much more damaging, slowing him down unlike before. However, he also showed you that since you were also protected by the eggs, if you two were together and could feed off of each other’s energy, it was less likely that serious injury would occur… though not impossible. Pennywise’s ego filled the gaps of doubt that lingered in the both of your thoughts, and you had to remember that there was no real guarantee for safety for either of you.   
  
But then… there was something else hidden in his mind. It was such a brief moment of vulnerability that you would have almost missed it had you not been looking for it. It was a moment of doubt - a flicker of fear. True, actual, genuine fear, and you couldn’t help but prod further.   
  
Images of a celestial creature similar to what could only be described as a turtle rushed across his subconscious. It threw you off considerably as the visual was so outrageous, but then again, anything regarding Pennywise was strange. Whatever this creature was - it was powerful - just as powerful as Pennywise, which surprised you considering he was so adamant about never having an equal. On top of that, you sensed that this was the only creature who had the knowledge of how to truly destroy him.   
  
“Wait…” you began, confusion clouding your mind. “Willpower is your weakness? What does that even mean? And what the hell is that turtle thing?” 

His instinct was to close you off completely, which he did for a moment before he forced himself to be open once more. He was willing to do anything to keep you, especially after having almost lost you due to his secrets. “It will never work. Stupid, ignorant creature. They will fail just as they failed before.”   
  
“Penn, I don’t-” you started to argue but cut yourself off when you noticed his facial expression change from annoyance to completely vacant. His eyes glazed over as his face fell slack as if he was processing something. Rather than having to ask what was happening, the sense of alertness suddenly washed over you as well, consuming your thoughts.   
  
A group of humans were within a short distance away from the sewers beneath Neibolt Street. You weren’t even sure why, but that place felt important - detrimental to your continued life source. It was definitely something that you needed to address with Pennywise, but in the meantime, the both of you needed to intervene.   
  
A sinister smile graced his lips as he cackled wickedly, sending a shiver up your spine. “Home at last,” he hissed as his talons tore through his fingertips in preparation of what he wanted to do to them. He jumped off from you then, his clown attire appearing over his body while his face contorted into his favorite form.   
  
“We shouldn’t antagonize them,” you warned, getting up from the bed and creating clothing for yourself out of thin air. “You said it yourself, that they can’t hurt us. Why are you making things worse?” 

“Filthy pests,” he spat, drool spilling down his lips as his eyes flashed with anger. “Those brats will meet their end.”   
  
“I wish you would just let it go, Penn. I don’t think that it’s a good idea for us to go and cause more trouble. You and I will be fine. As long as we avoid them, they’ll live their lives and we can live ours.”   
  
“It doesn’t work that way,” he corrected, pacing in the dark, his mind frantic with deplorable ideas on how to toy with them before ending them.   
  
Choosing to ignore his volatile thoughts, you asked, “What do you mean?”   
  
“They’re going to die either way. They’ve seen too much. It’s inside of them now, and it won’t ever go away.”   
  
“I don’t… I’m not understanding any of this.”   
  
He approached you then, cradling your face in his hands before he kissed you, his buck teeth clashing against your own. You melted into his touch, running your tongue along his own, tasting the sweetness there before he pulled away. “You need to see,” he whispered against your cheek before taking hold of your wrist with a firm grip. Before you knew it, the air around you condensed and the two of you were teleporting through space from the comfort of your cavern, to the front room of the decrepit Neibolt house.   
  
Pennywise held you, placing his hands on your hips to steady you as you swayed back and forth while attempting to get your bearings, still not totally used to being able to do that kind of thing. “Thank you,” you murmured, placing a delicate kiss on his cheek.   
  
His eyes flashed in the dark when the both of you heard murmurs outside of the house. Immediately, you recognized the voices and knew that it was the Losers.   
  
Pennywise started to growl while his body trembled, contemplating on what he could do to torture them first. You flinched after viewing some of the things he had in mind, not at all keen on how violent they were.   
  
You stepped into his line of vision, separating him from the front door as you carded your fingers through his bright hair with one hand, and caressed his jaw with the other. “Penn, please don’t kill them. What did you mean when you said that they were going to die because something was inside of them?”   
  
Still not able to get enough of you, he leaned down to kiss you, his tongue sliding over yours sensually while he inhaled deeply, desperate for your scent. You whimpered into his skilled mouth, suddenly wanting to rip your clothes off and let him have his way with you, but you knew that this was definitely neither the time nor the place to do that - especially with your cousin right on the other side of the door.   
  
With that in mind, you broke the kiss, ignoring the thrum of your lower region while you gauged his expression. He seemed calm, yet eager, and you knew that there was no convincing him to walk away from the situation.   
  
Nuzzling against your jaw, he begged huskily, “Play a game with me.”   
  
You hummed, contemplating how to spin this so that he wouldn’t get upset. “What kind of game?”   
  
He flashed his teeth in a toothy grin as he picked you up effortlessly, earning a yelp from the unexpected action from you in return. Placing you down gently in a dark corner of the living room off of the main hallway, he tilted your chin up before placing another quick peck to your lips. “Don’t get caught,” he warned wickedly before pressing on your shoulders in a silent request for you to crouch down low.   
  
Following his instruction, you remained hidden, cloaked in the darkness of the room as Pennywise crept away, plotting. The whole situation made you nervous, but you couldn’t sense Pennywise’s desire to actually kill the Losers, so you forced yourself to go along with it and hope for the best. It might not have been the smartest choice, but it was what you were going with.   
  
Moments later, the front door creaked open and the Losers stepped inside. Your ability to see perfectly in the dark served you well, especially considering they were carrying weapons and were clearly expecting a fight.   
  
Immediately, you wanted to approach them, excited to see your cousin. For him, you had been gone for nearly thirty years, but for you, he had literally grown into a middle-aged man overnight. You had so much you wanted to ask him about, and you hadn’t even had the chance to have a proper conversation with him since you had woken up. However, now wasn’t the time to swap stories. You had to be alert in case either Richie or Pennywise tried to kill the other, and you wouldn’t allow that to happen.   
  
They moved quietly and with precision as they followed Bill through the main hall and into the living room. You held your breath as the first half started to walk past you and to the hallway leading into the pantry, hoping they wouldn’t notice you, which was ridiculous considering you were practically invisible using your powers to blend in.   
  
A loud bang made you jump, nearly revealing yourself as you looked to see that the group had been separated after the pantry door had shut behind Richie, leaving Beverly, Mike, and Ben behind in the living room.   
  
Just as they went to pound on the door, Ben started screaming in pain. You gasped when you saw Pennywise holding him from behind as he carved into his stomach with a knife. Ben completely overlooked Pennywise, instead, peering down and lifting his shirt to reveal bloody gashes in his skin, coming together to form an ‘H’. 

Beverly and Mike ran to his aid, frantically trying to figure out how to help him. It was then that you noticed that they couldn’t see Pennywise, regardless of the fact that he was directly in front of them, harming their friend.   
  
Standing up and glaring at him, upset with his actions, he met your disdained expression with a wicked smile, pressing a finger to his lips and communicating with you telepathically to stay put. Against your better judgement, you did so.   
  
“Bev!” Mike shouted, motioning to the mirror on the other side of the wall. They all glanced towards the mirror and it was clear that they could see Pennywise’s reflection as he finished carving the words ‘Home At Last’ into his stomach before he pressed the knife against Ben’s throat, the blade starting to slice through the delicate skin of his jugular.   
  
Beverly quickly grabbed the iron spike that they had carried in from the yard, dashing across the room before she smashed the mirror to pieces. Pennywise had teleported away, and Ben was miraculously left unharmed, indicating that the entire interaction had been a twisted illusion.   
  
Sighing with relief, it didn’t take long for you to be on edge once again. Screams from the other room held your focus as you listened intently. Unable to resist, you teleported to the room where Richie, Bill, and Eddie were trapped, separated from the other three.   
  
You had concealed yourself in the darkness in the opposite corner of the room, up on the ceiling. When you saw what they were screaming at, you almost lost your shit. Young Stanley’s decomposed head had sprouted legs and was chasing the boys around the room, his fangs nipping at them as it tried to bite them.   
  
Bill had smacked the creature across the room where it had fallen out of a window and crashed to the ground, scurrying away. Suddenly, you felt a nudge on your leg, drawing your attention to your lower half. You almost yelped at the sight of Stanley’s head next to you on the ceiling, his dead eyes beaming at you. Pennywise was clearly having the time of his life.   
  
“That’s… so fucked up,” you commented under your breath, grimacing at him.   
  
He snickered wickedly before creeping to the other side of the ceiling, hovering over the space between Eddie and Richie. While Richie crossed over the room to check on Eddie, Pennywise released a glob of drool, stretching down until it rested right in front of Richie’s eye-line.   
  
Richie glanced up at the ceiling, finally noticing Pennywise lurking before stating, “Oh… there it is.”   
  
Without warning, Pennywise descended upon Richie, his long legs wrapping around his head while the Stanley-face attempted to attack him while Richie held him back.   
  
Bill ran over to Richie to pull on the creature from behind, the two of their strength combined still no match for Pennywise.   
  
As Richie screamed in terror, Bill was shouting at Eddie, telling him to reach for the knife behind him to help them, but Eddie was frozen with fear, still pinned against the wall in the corner, unable to move.   
  
No longer able to tolerate Pennywise’s torture of your friends, you were about to descend to put a stop to all of this when you noticed the other Losers crawling in through the window. Relieved that they were coming to Richie’s aid, you didn’t even have time to react as Mike ran towards the knife, picked it up from the ground and stabbed it into the Stanley-head.   
  
A horrific shriek echoed throughout the small room as Mike plunged the knife into his skull again, and again, and again, the blood from the creature rising up into the air before dissipating. The moment the blade cut through your mate, a white hot agonizing pain shot through your skull, slicing it open and causing you to bleed out. It wasn’t until the Richie stopped screaming that you realized the horrific shriek was coming from you - not Pennywise.   
  
The Losers looked up at the ceiling where you were hiding, shock evident in their expressions as you fell from the beams, landing to the dusty floor with a harsh thud. Bill had managed to pull the Stanley-head from Richie’s face before throwing him violently to the other side of the room near you.   
  
“Brats,” he hissed as the spider legs wobbled unsteadily beneath him. The sickening crack of bones popping out of place as he changed shape made you cringe. You would think that you would be used to that by now, and yet, it still bothered you.   
  
A moment later, you felt the soft fabric of his gloves caress your arms as he hurled himself on top of you protectively, screeching at the group of terrified humans before you.   
  
With a flick of his wrist, the room filled with large bats, pouring in from the windows and circling the Losers. While they were preoccupied with screaming in terror and doing their best to protect themselves from the swarm, Pennywise took the opportunity to gently pick you up from the ground, cradling you in his arms as he nuzzled his nose against your own. 

The pain in your skull had dulled significantly the moment he had made contact with you, but you were still strangely dizzy. You thought that feeling was only a human thing, but clearly, you were wrong. 

While you tried to shake off the ache in your head, Pennywise inspected the wound, lightly running his fingers across the areas of impact that had drawn blood. It appeared as though both of your wounds had healed, but the area was still sore. You made a mental note to yourself to avoid getting stabbed in the future - especially in the skull.   
  
Still holding you tightly against him, Pennywise snapped one of his fingers, causing the bats to pop in mid-air as if they had been made out of balloons all along. The Losers shook with terror as they lowered their hands from protectively covering themselves, the fear in their eyes prominent, even in the dark.   
  
The heat of your mate’s rage could be felt through the thick air as he snarled at the humans before him, baring his fangs while drool spilled over his lips. “I’m going to eat every last one of you.” He closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply through his nostrils as a bone-chilling, unnaturally large grin spread across his face. “Be afraid,” he seethed, hatred for the Losers welling up inside of him. “You’ll all taste so much better when you’re afraid!”   
  



	11. Chapter 11

  
  
Slowly regaining your strength, your eyes fluttered open, revealing that you were no longer in the dusty, deteriorating house, but instead back within the safety of the caverns beneath Derry. Your first instinct was to clutch onto whatever blunt object you were pressed up against, which happened to be Pennywise as he held you close.

“Penn?” you asked groggily, focusing on his face. 

He hummed softly, nuzzling his nose against your cheek as he wrapped his arms around you protectively.

“What happened? Where are we?”   
  
Pulling back a bit to give you some space, he replied, “Where it all began.”    
  
Looking around, you realized that you were surrounded by a large structure made from jagged spikes sticking out from the ground. It was formed in a way that made it seem like something had collided with the cavern floor and the ground had frozen upon impact.    
  
Still trying to remember what happened before you lost consciousness, you asked again,” What happened with the others? Are they okay?”   
  
He scoffed at your concern for those he loathed before replying. “They’re alive. For now. But soon, oh very soon, they’ll float like the rest, just as they were always meant to.”    
  
Sighing heavily, not bothering to hide your annoyance, you groaned, “You know… I’m getting really tired of this back-and-forth where I beg you to spare their lives and you just dance around it with your threats and weird riddles. It’s getting old, Penn.” 

“I could just as easily eat them instead.”    
  
Ignoring his jab, you then remembered why you fell unconscious. “They hurt you,” you recalled, instinctively reaching up to where you remembered Pennywise had been injured. You knew that he had healed by then, but you couldn’t stop yourself from tenderly running your fingers along his scalp, feeling for anything out of the ordinary. “Are you okay?”    
  
He bared his teeth in anger, but you knew it wasn’t directed towards you. “You felt my suffering.”    
  
“Yeah… I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that,” you murmured, now rubbing your own head, recalling the hot sting of the blade as if you had been the one that had been stabbed rather than your mate. “Would that happen to you? If I was the one who got hurt… would you feel it, too?”   
  
“Yes,” he answered promptly, trailing his hands down your arms affectionately. “But I would slaughter them before they could ever lay a finger on you.” 

As horrific as that image was, and regardless of the truth behind his threat, you smiled. It made you happy to be reminded of how much you meant to him, and what he would do to protect you. 

Wanting to change the subject, you then asked, “What are we doing here? What is this place?”   
  
Pressing his forehead against yours, he murmured, “Close your eyes, Y/N. Close them and see.” 

Hesitantly following his instructions, you shut your eyes, concentrating on the images that he was bestowing into your subconscious. A mix of colors swirled before you until you saw a bright light fall from the sky, hitting the Earth with such force that it penetrated deep into the ground. The fallen object seemed to rest underground for millions of years until mankind made itself known near the area of impact. Finally, emerging from the ground was a terrifying bird-like creature that changed its shape into a wicked beast that was difficult for you to even describe. The beast hunted and devoured the early settlers of the town before returning to its previous state, slumbering for several years while mankind settled into the land, creating what was now known as the town of Derry. 

It was then you realized that Pennywise was showing you his origin on Earth. He had been the ball of light that crashed into the ground and lay dormant until he was awoken by humans, which he then proceeded to feed upon, beginning the vicious cycle that you were familiar with today. 

Opening your eyes and gazing at the large structure surrounding you, it was evident that he had brought you to where he had crashed into the Earth. It was incredible. After all of these years, you were standing exactly where Pennywise had landed in this dimension after leaving his own. This is where his story began, and you found yourself in awe of the situation. 

A sudden wave of emotion washed over you as you gripped Pennywise by his collar and pulled him in for a deep kiss. You could tell that he was taken by surprise, but was excited by the contact just the same. 

A warm sensation started to graze the top of your head, causing you to break the kiss and look up towards the ceiling of the cavern, only to discover three glowing orbs, swirling around each other and shining brightly in the darkness. It was one of the most hypnotic and incredible sights that you had ever seen, and it felt right to be near them. 

“Deadlighs”, Pennywise whispered in your ear, answering your unspoken question. “They’re what we are made from. They’re my creator.”    
  
Dazed, you were unaware of the grin spreading across Pennywise’s face as he took in your sense of astonishment, thrilled with your reaction to the Deadlights. Moments later, he couldn’t stop himself from pulling you towards him, kissing you hungrily, snaking his tongue into your mouth to taste you as his hands explored your body. The two of you sank down to the ground until he had you pinned beneath him on the stone floor.

He wasted no time in fumbling with the button of your jeans, making you giggle against his lips as he grew outwardly frustrated when he couldn’t properly undo them. It didn’t take long for him to grow impatient, resorting to shredding them with his claws, revealing your aching core. 

Still pressing his pillowed lips against yours, he reached down to pull his member from the confines of his silk suit, guiding his weeping head to your folds before plunging in, groaning loudly as his shoulders sunk forward with relief.    
  
Wrapping your legs around his waist, you dug your nails into his forearms, tearing through the silk fabric with your talons. “H-harder, please, babe. Fucking hurt me.”   
  
He didn’t need to be asked twice as he snapped his hips forward, knocking the breath from your lungs as you cried out in bliss.    
  
Never breaking his rhythm, he continued to fuck you with abandon with animalistic noises spilling from his lips as he closed his eyes and focused on the task at hand. You traced the pads of your fingers along his cheek, smiling to yourself as his brow crinkled with concentration as he chased after his high. 

Everything about him in the state made you swoon. The way his lip quivered with pleasure, how his breaths came in short little pants, the way his mind was in-tune with you to ensure that you were comfortable at all times. He wasn’t a prehistoric, murderous creature in this state. He was simply your mate who wanted to pleasure you beyond your own comprehension. 

You had come to terms with the fact that Pennywise was a quiet lover and not at all one for dirty talk of any kind. It clearly wasn’t in his nature. He was much more of the ‘fuck in silence’ type, which you didn’t necessarily mind, especially since you two communicated in a different way than what humans were capable of. It wasn’t something that you were used to yet, but you were getting the hang of it. 

Several minutes later after the both of you finished, you laid in his arms as the two of you continued to stare up into the Deadlights dancing above you. A few peaceful moments passed until Pennywise broke the silence. “Do you hate me?”   
  
Taken aback by his question, you met his curious gaze with your own puzzled one. “Hate you? No, Penn. I mean… as much as you frustrate me, I don’t think that I could ever hate you, especially now that you’re my mate. Our connection goes beyond a simple love and hate relationship, don’t you think?”

He hummed softly, eyes searching yours as he mulled over your words. “Bear my offspring.” 

Annoyance flared up inside of you, which you knew he could sense. “I thought we put this behind us for now. You’ve gone millions of years without the need to procreate. Why is it suddenly so urgent to have children?”    
  
He wrinkled his nose at your response. “Children,” he spat, clearly disgusted by the word. “That’s a human word.”   


You couldn’t help but laugh when he got flustered like that. He narrowed his eyes as you chuckled, clearly not amused. Ignoring his disdain and grabbing onto his fluffy collar, you pulled him in for a quick peck on the lips. “My god, you’re persistent,” you teased.    
  
He growled playfully against you, nipping on your ear and mouthing at your neck. “Let me breed you,” he practically begged. 

That sparked something in you that you couldn’t ignore. “Oh, so now you’re all about consent?”   
  
He bit down particularly hard on your collarbone, drawing blood, which he immediately lapped up before raising his head and meeting your eyes. “Yes,” he simply replied, as if his previous betrayal never happened. 

Tracing your fingers along the red marks from his lips, over his cheeks and up to his brow, you thought about the aftermath of what would happen if he impregnated you. There was so much to consider, and you had so many questions for him. After all, he’s had a millennium to think about this. You’ve hardly had any time to process it at all. 

“Humor me,” you insisted. “Let’s say that we had childr-- uh, that I got pregnant. How can I properly raise them if I don’t even fully understand what I am yet? I won’t even know what my own kids are. How am I supposed to guide them and teach them if I don’t even understand what we are yet?”

Pennywise was seething as he snapped back, “You won’t live long enough to find out if we don’t eat those brats.”    
  
“That just proves my point, Pennywise! We currently have a group of people that are intent on killing us right now. Do you honestly think that this is the ideal time to have to worry about babies?!”   
  
Pennywise eyed you for a moment, taking your words into consideration. He’d never had to care for anyone other than himself. He probably hadn’t thought about that part.    
  
After a few moments of contemplation, he murmured. “It’s your decision. I will not make it for you.”

Wow. He was learning and adapting--intent on waiting for consent for everything he would have simply taken from you before. It was almost endearing. 

“I’ll tell you what,” you whispered, pulling him closer to speak against his lips before kissing him softly. “Let’s get through today, and then we’ll talk about it. I don’t think that now is the time or the place to have a serious conversation about kids. Deal?”

He scowled at your human term for his spawn, but he grumbled in agreement, kissing your forehead and letting his mouth linger there for a moment when you two enjoyed being entangled in one another. 

An intrusion in your mind brought you back to reality as both yours and Pennywise’s bodies went rigid, sensing an impending threat. The Losers were approaching the two of you. They had found their way down the tunnels and through the caverns to where you and Pennywise were hiding.    
  
A ferocious growl ripped through his throat as he sensed them getting nearer. “What are we going to do?” you asked, now worried for whatever it is that they had planned.    
  
“Hide,” he commanded, slithering off of you and lifting you effortlessly from the ground into a standing position.    
  
“And let you terrorize them unsupervised? I don’t think so. I’m not a damsel in distress, Pennywise. We can talk to them together.”    
  
He glared at you, mentally reminding you that he had zero intention of talking, and instead would be resorting to violence, as was his nature. 

You tilted your head disapprovingly. “Alright, listen up,” you stated abrasively, earning a slight snarl from your mate. “I’m fucking tired of this. We’re doing this my way. I was human, so I’m the one more likely to get through to them rather than you. If things don’t go as planned… we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but as of right now, I’m in charge. Understand?” 

The anger in his mind was apparent, but you could swear that you were also picking up on… arousal? Jesus, he had a libido like you had never seen. It was obvious that he was fighting the urge to dominate you, but much to his credit, he simply growled in annoyance, but accepted your plan. 

Sighing, you rolled your neck, cracking your bones to loosen up. You then took his hand in yours, giving him a reassuring smile. “Let’s do this.” 


	12. Chapter 12

The Losers had made their way to the center of the spiked structure, all looking a little worse for wear. Mike had been carrying a leather-bound container of some sort, which he set down in the middle as they formed a circle around it.    
  
You and Pennywise had hidden yourselves among the surrounding rocks, watching and listening intently to what was occuring. Pennywise’s features were hard as he gauged the humans with a cold and calculated stare. 

Mike had begun explaining the steps of something called the Ritual of Chüd as he created a small fire inside of the container. Slowly after that, the Losers began tossing strange objects into the fire, explaining what the object meant to them.    
  
Turning to Pennywise, you silently asked him if he was familiar with this ritual and what the repercussions were. He growled in return, his anger projecting from his mind. You only caught fragments of thoughts where he blamed a giant turtle named Maturin. It wasn’t the first time you had seen this creature in his mind, but the turtle remained a mystery, as Pennywise clearly had no intention of discussing him. All you knew was that this creature was powerful.    
  
Breaking your concentration into Pennywise’s thoughts, a sudden pain shot through your body, and Pennywise’s too by the way his form shook. Looking at the Losers, you saw that they had joined hands and were chanting loudly, causing a reaction from the leather container.    
  
Moments later, the ceiling opened up and the Deadlights were floating down, closer and closer towards the Losers, the light growing more faint.    
  
The Losers were killing you--snuffing out the Deadlights, and in turn, yours and Pennywise’s lifesource. Turning to your mate, you not only saw the pained expression on his face, but you felt his anguish as he struggled to maintain his composure, not wanting to appear weak.    
  
A whimper fell from your lips as your knees buckled beneath you. Before you could hit the ground, Pennywise caught you, lifting you up so that he could support you, but you could tell that he was struggling, and he was soon going to be at his breaking point.    
  
Something in you snapped then. Seeing your mate struggle for life awoke something inside of you. Pennywise had always been an all-powerful being--seemingly incapable of dying or becoming gravely injured. And yet, there he was, using all of his strength to hold the two of you up, still not giving in. 

This was it. This was the moment that you had been dreading. And you needed to make a choice.    
  
Richie and the rest of the Losers were the only things that were keeping you attached to your mortal life. Eventually, they would be gone, and all that would remain was both you and Pennywise. Their lives were finite, and there was nothing that you could do to change that. You might be able to prolong the inevitable as long as you could, but in the end, they would fall among the weeds. 

Pennywise was your future. Regardless of the fact that he infuriated you, and your entire relationship started out as a game filled with lies, deceit, manipulation, and death--you still loved him more deeply that you had ever loved anyone, or anything. If you could venture a guess as you why, you supposed it was due to the darkness inside of you that had connected you from the beginning. 

Despite the fact that he had done unspeakable things to you--absolutely awful, unforgivable things… it didn’t break you. It was obvious from the start that your relationship wasn’t traditional by any means. In fact, one might go so far as to say that your entire relationship was toxic and maybe even doomed from the start. Still, you would give your life for him, and you knew that he would give his in return.    
  
Your future together was frightening. Actually, it was downright terrifying. To think about the fact that you would live literally forever was almost unfathomable, and it was something that your human mind would never be able to comprehend. But, with Pennywise by your side, you were prepared to venture into the unknown and embrace wherever this path led you.    
  
It came down to whether or not you would sacrifice the life of you and your mate to protect Richie and his friends--and quite possibly the rest of humanity within Derry. You had to choose between the two, and you had to do it now.    
  
So, you did. You chose to embrace what you are rather than hang on to who you were. 

Closing your eyes, you aggressively pushed yourself from Pennywise. Before he could hold you back, you became weightless, floating through space as you maneuvered your way into the leather-bound container just as the Deadlights were sucked in after you. You then felt someone place a lid on top of the canister, holding you in place with the Deadlights.    
  
You could feel Pennywise’s panic and anger as he followed you with his mind, trying to determine what your end game was. You had attempted to reassure him through your mental connection, but when you made contact with the Deadlights, everything melted from your mind and you felt completely at peace, forgetting for a moment what you were doing.    
  
But you couldn’t let yourself stay that way. You had a mission, and it was now time to get on with it. You had to protect your family. 

Taking the first form that came to mind, you started to puff yourself up, forcing your form to grow, despite the small canister that you were being kept in. You grew, and grew, and grew, until finally, the container relented, as did the person struggling to keep the lid on. 

Frightened shouts and the strong, intoxicating smell of fear was prominent as you felt yourself expand from the top, filling the area with your elasticity.   
  
Inspired by Pennywise’s past antics, you had turned into a giant red balloon, growing steadily with each passing moment. As you began to completely fill the space of the structure, the Losers fled for their lives until the sharp spikes prevented you from expanding any further. Not soon after, you popped, the sound so loud that it reverberated off of the cavern walls, shaking the earth beneath you. 

Deflated, and in pieces, you pulled yourself back together after remnants of your own body flew about the cavern after you had popped. That was when you realized that you could disassemble and reassemble yourself. Cool! That would certainly come in handy later. 

In an instant, you felt your mate’s presence next to you, a mix of concern, anger, relief, and, yet again, arousal radiating from his mind. His gaze was frantic as he was trying to get a read on you and determine where you were going with this.    
  
Winking at him in return, you nodded your head and mentally encouraged him to address the Losers. He bared his teeth in a wicked grin as he immediately started to grow in size, sprouting pointed limbs that appeared to be insect legs of some sort. He was so damn twisted… and you loved it.    
  
You remained hidden, only peeking your head out in the back to gauge their reactions as he appeared to them as this new giant crossbreed between his clown form and a spider. 

“Boo!” he bellowed, chuckling at their reactions. “Oh, did it work, Mikey? Did it work?” His malevolent cackle was enough to frighten even you. He took such delight in tormenting them. “Tell them why your silly little ritual didn't work! Tell them it's all just a... What's the word, Eds? Gazebo?”

They all turned to Mike, confusion, anger, and sadness etched into their facial expressions. 

“Mike, what's he talking about?” Eddie pressed nervously. 

Bill’s stutter was prominent as he spoke barely above a whisper, “M-M-Mikey?”

“Oh, Mikey,” Pennywise mocked dramatically. “You never showed them the fourth side, did you? Ha! Didn't want them to know what actually happened to the poor Shokopiwah? Yum, nyum, nyum, nyum!”

A vision suddenly appeared before your eyes of distorted figures gathered around a fire for the first Ritual of Chüd, but it didn’t end well for the Shokopiwah people. Pennywise had easily slaughtered them with very little effort and feasted on their bodies afterwards. 

The vision ended just as quickly as it had begun, and you realized that Pennywise had projected it for all of you to see in your minds at once.    
  
Betrayal hung heavy in the air as Bill called out, “Fuck, Mikey, you lied to us again?!”

“They... they didn't-they didn't believe they could kill him!” He sputtered, tears trailing down his face. “That's why it didn't work back then!”   


“Are you fucking kidding me, Mike?!” Richie bellowed as he and the rest of the Losers scrambled backwards, trying to distance themselves from the giant Pennywise.    
  
A deafening boom resonated throughout the cavern as the Deadlights shot out of the canister where they were being held captive, growing rapidly and dancing frantically in the air, once again alive and powerful. 

“We hurt him!” Mike cried out, not bothering to move while the others ran. “I needed something! Anything for us to remember! Anything for us to believe!”

Pennywise then began to crawl out from behind the spikes, revealing his clown-spider form in all its terrifying glory, zeroing in on Mike. You held your breath, wondering how far he would take this as he pulled his arm back as it morphed into a spike, capable of brutal penetration as he bellowed, “Time to float!”    
  
The moment Pennywise began to thrust his arm forward, Bill slammed himself into Mikey, moving him out of the way just in time before he became impaled on Pennywise’s limb. They recovered quickly, jumping up and moving back to cower with the rest of the Losers.   
  
Pennywise turned back to you for a moment, questioning how you wanted to proceed, which caught you off guard. He was actually including you? You weren’t prepared for that. He was being open with you and resisting slaughtering the Losers outright so that you could determine what their fate would be.    
  
Making a mental note to properly thank him later, you crawled out from behind your hiding spot and revealed yourself out in the open. No longer trying to reason with yourself about how to address the humans, you were acting only on instinct now, not bothering to hide who or what you truly were. 

Their eyes fell on you, a mix of shock and relief on their faces. A part of you wanted to comfort them. They were, after all, your friends, but there was another side of you that was angry--resentful that they would try to hurt you and your mate, ignoring the fact that it would kill the both of you. 

“Richie…” you murmured, your voice cracking with emotion. “You were going to kill me?”    
  
“I-I thought you were already dead. Upstairs… it looked like you were done for. And before that…” he trailed off, grimacing at the memory of digging into your organs for eggs. Richie definitely hadn’t seen you at your best lately. 

Trying to hide the bitterness in your voice, you bit back, “Yeah, well, you could have fucking made sure. Pennywise and I are the same now. You didn’t think that maybe I’m as hard to kill as he is?”   
  
“I didn’t know what to fucking think!” he shot back. “My whole family is  _ gone _ ! I’ve had to say goodbye to everyone thanks to that fucking thing,” he pointed at Pennywise, absolute hatred in his eyes.    
  
“I get it, Richie… really, I do, but we can’t keep doing this. This has to stop.”    
  
“Not happening,” he countered, gripping the weapon in his hands tightly. “I won’t stop until that fucker is dead.”    
  
“How have you not figured it out yet?!” you bellowed, a growl that you couldn’t contain releasing with your words, causing them to jump. “We’re connected! Whatever you do to him happens to me and vice versa! If you kill him, I die, too!”    
  
He gawked at you, staring open-mouthed and stunned speechless.    
  
Bill nudged him, trying to gain his attention. “Richie, come on, man. This doesn’t change anything. I know you don’t want to let her go, but it has to be this way.”    
  
“You don’t have to be the one to do it,” Ben assured him.    
  
“Richie, I’m so sorry,” Bev stated comfortingly, placing a hand on his shoulder.    
  
Eddie was incapable of offering any input as it looked like he was about to pass out at any moment. Mike, however, was ready and determined. Quickly grabbing a metal rod out of Ben’s hand, he then surged forward, catching everyone off guard and plunging the rod right into your shoulder.    
  
Both you and Pennywise shrieked in agony while you stumbled back, your claws and fangs jutting out defensively.    
  
“Mike, what the fuck!” Richie shouted, instinctively stepping forward to come to your aid before being stopped by Bill, holding him back with caution.    
  
“You needed to see it, Richie! She’s not your cousin anymore! She’s just like him!” Mike answered, a crazed and uneasy look in his eyes.   
  
Before you could take another breath, Pennywise was on top of you, his giant form shielding you from the others. Glaring at them, he snarled, “Oh, how I have waited for this moment.”    
  
Without further hesitance, he lunged after the Losers with the intent to kill, no longer waiting for your permission to harm them after what they had done to his mate. They began to scatter at that point, heading in every direction to evade Pennywise.   
  
Stunned at Mike’s sudden aggression, you carefully, grabbed the rod, slowly pulling it out from your shoulder. After it was removed, you let it fall to the ground with a thud, betrayal and anger welling up inside of you.    
  
Maybe it really  _ was  _ time to float. 


	13. Chapter 13

The logical part of you understood why Mike did what he did. He had been the only one out of all of the Losers to stay in Derry. Twenty-seven years of living in constant fear, haunted by the memories he endured during his childhood. It would negatively impact anyone. He hated Pennywise so much, it only made sense that his feelings of hatred would bleed into his opinion of you as the same kind of creature.  
  
However, the new and savage side of you was quick to anger. You found yourself fighting with your subconscious to differentiate Mike as something more than just an insignificant gnat that needed to be swatted. How dare he. You were trying your best to bring peace, and they just kept testing your patience. 

The more angry you became, the more your body started to tremble and take shape into something far unlike your human form.   
  
As your bones cracked and split, your skin turned black and scaly. You honestly didn’t even know what you were, but it was terrifying, even to you.   
  
Gazing around the cavern, you saw Pennywise chomping at an opening that he couldn’t fit into while one of his limbs stretched far down into a different part of the cave. He was obviously hunting more than one of the humans at a time after they scattered.   
  
Reading his mind, you saw that he had actually trapped three of the Losers in alternate worlds. It was absolutely stunning, and you had no idea that he was even capable of such a thing. Somehow, he had transported Bill into a universe where he was swimming in a basement, confronted by his little brother and his younger self. Beverly was locked in a bathroom stall, which was quickly filling up with blood while she was being terrorized by people from her past. Ben had been thrown into their childhood clubhouse and was being suffocated by dirt as the walls started to collapse and condense around him. 

It was literally the stuff of nightmares. Surprisingly, instead of being concerned, you were… impressed? That couldn’t be right. He was hurting your friends, and yet, something about it called to you. The fear that was emitting from them was intoxicating, and you inhaled it greedily. 

A recognizable scream caught your attention and pulled you from your intense focus of the others onto Richie and Eddie, who were trapped in one of the caverns by Pennywise’s stray limb.   
  
Pennywise was subconsciously encouraging you to join him in tormenting the Losers for a bit of fun. Unable to stop yourself, you happily obliged, slithering towards the two terrified men huddled together in the cave.   
  
Your mate had projected three doors in front of Richie and Eddie that were marked with ‘ _ Very Scary’, _ ‘ _ Scary’, _ and ‘ _ Not Scary At All’. _You were sure that they wouldn’t have opened any one of them, knowing what kind of trickster Pennywise was, but one of his tentacles was blocking their only other way out, stretching and snapping at their heels. 

Crawling behind the ‘_ Not Scary At All _’ door, you transformed into an adorably non-threatening Pomeranian dog, patiently waiting for them to open the door. Sure enough, they did, and when they saw you, they were clearly alarmed and not at all convinced of your innocence. 

“Shit,” Richie snapped, his face flushed with fear.   
  
Eddie huffed, nervousness radiating from him. “No way am I falling for this shit again.” 

“Oh yeah, that thing’s a fucking monster,” Richie confirmed, leaning down to address you. “I know your moves, you little bitch.” It was clear that they were under the impression that you were Pennywise. 

Gauging their surroundings, they turned around to see that Pennywise had retracted his tentacle and that the way was clear for them to leave. Richie turned back to you, unsure as to whether or not their safe passage was a ruse or not. He then demanded in an authoritative voice, “Sit!”

Complying, you sat down, giving them the best imitation of a happy puppy dog that you could muster. Eddie’s eyes widened, surprised at your obedience. “He did it! Aw, that’s cute,” Eddie cooed, his face crumpling. “That’s a good boy!”   
  
As the two of them continued to shower you with affection, you suddenly burst into a creature that was like a cross between an inside-out dog with rotting flesh and a zombie.   
  
Screaming at the top of their lungs, they slammed the door shut and bolted down the cave back towards Pennywise as Richie shouted, “Shit! Next time we’re just going with regular Scary!”   
  
“Next time?!” Eddie choked out, sprinting beside Richie further away from you. 

Turning back to the creepy monstrous form you took before the dog, you peered into Pennywise’s mind to see that Bill, Beverly, and Ben had all escaped the illusions that Pennywise had kept them in. Recalling how resourceful they were, you weren’t shocked, but you could feel Pennywise’s anger as he continued to chase after them.   
  
Before things got even more out of control than what they already were, you started making your way back to your mate. Still keeping tabs on his mind, you saw him confronting Mike again, ready to attack, until a blunt option smacked him on the side of his head. You felt it too, wondering what the hell that could have been considering he was so tall.

You arrived just in time to see Richie throwing a rock at Pennywise while calling him a “sloppy bitch.” Fucking Richie. Putting two-and-two together, you realized that’s what had hit Pennywise on his head before.   
  
“You wanna dance?!” Richie threatened, continuing to antagonize your mate. “Let’s dance!”   
  
Picking up another rock in preparation to once again hurl at Pennywise, he hadn’t realized that you were crawling towards him from behind. He planted his feet, aiming the rock at Pennywise’s spider-hybrid form once more. “Yippi-ki-yay, motherf--”   
  
Without warning, Pennywise flashed his Deadlights at your cousin, causing his limbs to go slack while his mouth hung open in shock. The rock fell from his hands to the ground with a thud as he started to levitate into the air, completely captivated by Pennywise’s alluring lights.   
  
You weren’t a stranger to what Deadlights could do to a regular person. Beverly and David had both gone through it and were left with mental scars. Pennywise was hurting him, and though you had accepted what you were, it still pained you to see him suffer.   
  
Shouting at Pennywise in your head, you begged him to stop-- to let you deal with Richie rather than feed his soul to the Deadlights, but he was unrelenting. He was clearly savoring the feeling of Richie’s life draining from his body. His animalistic instincts were taking over, and it wasn’t going to be easy to convince him to stop.   
  
However, much to your surprise, he had pulled back, suddenly sensing your sadness. You felt his guilt in your mind, knowing full well that you wanted to be the one to handle things, especially with your last remaining tie to humanity.   
  
Just as he was about to release his hold on Richie, an iron rod shot through the air and went straight into Pennywise’s mouth, lodging itself in his throat. The both of you shrieked in agony as you felt it rip into his flesh, blood gushing from his mouth. Richie was immediately released from his hold, falling roughly to the ground as Pennywise coughed viciously, struggling to spit up the weapon. 

Your hands were on your throat as you fell to your knees in pain, gasping for air as you gazed over to Pennywise to see him stumble back, tripping on his own legs as he fell backwards and impaled himself onto one of the spikes from the structure in the middle of the cavern.   
  
It felt like your entire body had been split open as you felt the sharp edge cut through Pennywise’s stomach. You began to convulse as you tried to get your bearings together and run to aid your mate as he was now stuck on the structure and couldn’t move.   
  
The rage Pennywise was emitting was enough to pull you back from the edge of nearly passing out from the pain. Your vision was slightly blurred, but you could sense that he was focused on whoever it was that struck him with the spike, and he made his move quickly.   
  
Before you could intervene, Pennywise had morphed one of his arms into a spear, extending it to stretch across the cave and shoved it into the back of one of the Losers when he wasn’t looking, impaling him right through the chest.

Recovering quickly, you shakily got to your feet and narrowed your eyes towards the now gravely injured person to discover that it had been Eddie.   
  
Swallowing thickly, you heard screams and cries from the rest of the group. Pennywise lifted Eddie off of the ground and whipped his arm out with such force that Eddie had slipped right off and tumbled harshly into one of the smaller cave openings.   
  
As Pennywise struggled to remove himself from the structure, the other Losers ran after him to see what they could do to save him, but you already knew that it was a lost cause. Eddie had no chance, and if he wasn’t dead already, he would be shortly.   
  
Scrambling to your feet, you ran down to Pennywise to help aid him as he successfully sat up and quickly healed himself. Much to your surprise, he then grabbed you by your shoulders with his massive hands and pulled you towards him while he looked you over, panic in his eyes as he made sure that you weren’t hurt too badly. “I’m fine,” you murmured as you gave him a reassuring squeeze.   
  
His eyes suddenly flashed as he whipped around, drawing your attention to whatever it was that he sensed behind him. The Losers were making a break for it, running towards a larger opening, which probably led them out of the cavern to safety.   
  
Pennywise immediately took off, hauling ass towards them, crawling onto the wall of the cavern to cut them off at the entrance as he jumped down and cackled at their failed attempt. “You filthy little children!” he chuckled menacingly.   
  
Turning to Mike, Ben shouted, “You got a plan B, man? What the hell do we do now?!”   
  
“You _ die _ , that’s what you do!” Pennywise bit back, his mouth salivating at the thought of finally devouring the humans that have caused him so much frustration over the years.   
  
“Mike?” Bill urged, looking back and forth from the frightened Losers to the monster before them.   
  
Mike was racking his brain trying to come up with something-- anything that could help them in that moment. “There’s… There’s more than one way to make someone small,” he declared, coming up with a last-ditch effort to defeat their foe.   
  
Beverly caught on before anyone else to what Mike had meant. “Make him believe that he is.”   
  
“W-wha-what?!” Bill replied, his voice thick with panic and fear.   
  
“Make him believe that he is!” Mike emphasized.   
  


“Oh! Me? Small?” Pennywise cackled in response, amused by their ignorance. “I am the eater of worlds!”   
  
“Not to us, you’re not,” Mike countered boldly. “You’re just a clown.”   
  
Pennywise halted, and it was then you felt a negative spark inside of him. A twinge of something you had only felt maybe once or twice before from him. It was fear.   
  
“You’re a weak old woman,” Beverly murmured, finding her courage, forcing herself to believe what she was saying.   
  
“You’re a headless boy,” Ben shouted, joining in.   
  
They had all begun stepping closer to Pennywise who had found himself actually retreating back, trying to distance himself from the humans. “I-I’m the eater of worlds... “ he sputtered, losing his footing and tripping over himself as he backed away. 

A chorus of insults rang out among the Losers as they circled around him, diminishing his confidence.   
  
“You are an impostor!”   
  
“You’re a bully!”   
  
“You’re just a damn clown!”   
  
“Fraud!”   
  
“A clown!”   
  
“A cheater!”   
  
“A damn stupid mummy!”   
  
“You’re a clown!”   
  
“Clown!”   
  
“You’re a clown!”   
  
“Stupid clown!” 

They had figured it out. In order to defeat Pennywise, it was a battle of wills-- both in their mind and soul, and they were winning. They were snuffing the light out of your mate, and you could feel it affecting you as well.   
  
With all of your remaining strength, you jumped in front of your mate and screamed. You screamed so loudly and sharply, that the Losers literally stopped in their tracks and fell to their knees, covering their ears in pain. Your fangs jutted out of your gums and your claws tore through your fingertips defensively as you planted your feet, growling angrily.   
  
“Move, Y/N,” Richie demanded as he forced himself onto his feet, recovering from the shock of your scream as the others stood up as well. “I won’t say it again.” 

“If you want to kill him, you’ll have to go through me,” you threatened, glaring at them in warning.   
  
“What the fuck is wrong with you!” he shouted, seething with hatred. That mother fucker killed Mom! He killed Sara! Fuck, he just killed Edd--” he choked out a sob, unable to finish the word as tears formed in his eyes. “We can find a way to help you. We don’t know that killing him will kill you. He could have just told you that to protect himself!”   
  
You stepped closer to him, wanting more than anything to touch him to comfort him, but you knew that he would never allow it. “Richie… I need you to listen to me. I mean, really listen. I am never going to be human again. Regardless of what happens to Pennywise, that’s just a fact. I’ve accepted that, and now you need to as well.”  
  
“I won’t,” he answered through gritted teeth.   
  
Pennywise, now shrunken back to normal size, staggered next to you and wrapped his arm around your middle, cradling you next to him while baring his teeth at your cousin.   
  
“I don’t want to fight you, Richie… but I will defend my family by whatever means necessary.”   
  
“That’s _ bullshit _ ! He’s not your family! I am! How can you not see that?!” 

Your heart shattered as you came to terms with what you already knew, but didn’t have the courage to admit. “No, Richie. You’re not. Not anymore.”   
  
It was like he had been slapped across the face. He was at a loss for words as he swallowed thickly, trying his best to process your words and the fact that you had delivered the final blow, cutting ties with him forever.   
  
“Please don’t misunderstand, Richie,” you pleaded softly, stepping out of Pennywise’s grasp and walking towards him. The other Losers went rigid as they prepared themselves for an attack, but refused to back down. “I still love you, and I always will. But my attachment to Pennywise is unlike anything I ever felt as a human. He’s what I live for now. I love him.”   
  
“You don’t love him” Richie hissed, his eyes blazing. “Did you think I’d forget? I remember how scared you looked when we were kids. You didn’t become like him because you _ loved _ him. You sacrificed yourself to him to _ save _ us. You knew that until he had you for himself he would pick us off, one-by-one until you had no one left. That’s not love. It’s manipulation.”   
  
A tear fell down your face that you hadn’t realized had been threatening to fall. “You’re partly right. I was afraid of what he would do if I didn’t give myself to him… but I do also love him, Richie. I can’t even explain why. We were connected from the beginning. He’s everything to me.”   
  
He wiped away his stray tears with the back of his sleeve, finally beginning to come to terms with how this was going to play out. There was no saving you. There was no going back. The Losers were on their own.   
  
Shaking, he snapped, “Then you’re just as much to blame for Eddie’s death as he is. Mom and Sara, too. Their blood is on your hands.”   
  
Clearing your throat to dissipate the remaining emotions and straightening your posture to appear more authoritative you replied, “You all need to leave Derry. Leave, and don’t come back here. Ever.”   
  
Richie huffed, amused by your demand. “We’re not going anywhere. We’re not just going to let you slaughter everyone else in this town. It’s not just about us anymore. We’re not leaving without knowing that mother fucker is finally dead.”   
  
Smiling at his threat, your talons emerged from your fingers and your teeth began to sharpen. “Then come and get us.”   
  
Disappearing for a moment, the Losers held their breath, wondering where you would pop up until you emerged once again next to Pennywise, who was radiating pride and adoration for your new stance.   
  
“You’re going to pay for what you’ve done,” Richie seethed, clenching his fists.   
  
The rest of the Losers braced themselves for a fight, which was pointless, especially considering they had no weapons to harm you. They were practically helpless.   
  
That’s when an idea occurred to you.   
  
Turning to Pennywise, you projected your thoughts to him, pulling his attention towards you so that he could see what you were thinking. When he saw your plan, he was a bit taken aback.   
  
Taking his hand in yours, you asked aloud, “Time to float?”   
  
A wicked grin stretched across his face as he nodded his head in agreement. “Down we go, down we go…”   
  
Without further hesitation, both you and Pennywise unhinged your jaws and called upon your Deadlights to project from inside the two of you and onto the Losers, trapping them in the warm, welcoming glow that would inevitably be their doom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna need you guys to take a deep breath. Don't freak out just yet. The story isn't over yet! Two more chapters to go :)


	14. Chapter 14

They had never seemed so at peace-- so blissfully unaware of their surroundings and the fact that their fragile lives were held in the hands of two of the most powerful beings in all of existence.  
  
Using your powers, you and Pennywise had suspended the group of humans into the air, making it easy to transport them out of the caverns and far across Derry toward the city limits.  
  
The sun danced through the leaves of the trees as the wind tousled the branches around in the warm summer glow. Despite the wind and the sun on their faces, the Losers never so much as stirred as they floated towards the edge of town, carefully guided by you and Pennywise.  
  
Reaching for Pennywise’s hand, you squeezed gently, earning a smirk from your mate, who had been adorned in his human form.  
  
Sighing with contentment, you broke the silence. “So… what now? My ties to humanity are as good as gone. I’m not sure what to do with myself anymore.”  
  
“It’s not all gone,” Pennywise corrected, his smooth, deep human voice giving you chills. “Your empathy for these brats still remains. You still have human compassion.”  
  
“And that bothers you?”  
  
He snorted. “I would have just eaten them.”  
  
You couldn’t stop the eye-roll that followed. “That’s your solution to everything,” you laughed, taken aback on how lighthearted the subject of devouring humans had become.  
  
Biting your lip, Pennywise immediately picked up on your troubled thoughts, halting for a moment to search your eyes with his own while he waited for you to address your concerns.  
  
Not bothering to sugarcoat it, you were immediately open and honest. “I don’t like the way this makes me feel. When I let go of who I was and embraced my new self, it felt so freeing. I thought that I would stay like that, but as it turns out, I still feel things like guilt, and sympathy, and so many other things that are weighing on me. I never wanted to become a monster, but I can’t keep holding onto being human. I don’t know what I am anymore.” 

Pennywise pulled you into an embrace, kissing the top of your head with his pillowed lips as he calmed you. “It will pass,” he insisted, running his fingers through your hair gently. “You are not a monster. You’re a queen. We are eternal, and this world is ours.”  
  
The way he spoke of eternity with you was weirdly romantic, and it somehow put you at ease. Stepping back from him to look up into his blue eyes, you wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him deeply. “We have all the time in the world to figure things out,” you murmured against his lips. 

After a brief make-out session, you and Pennywise continued carrying the Losers across town to the border. Pennywise was about to not-so-gently toss them across the threshold before you stopped him. “Wait, Penn. Please… let me say goodbye?”  
  
He growled impatiently, but snapped his fingers in compliance, causing the humans to slowly sink to the ground and rest softly on the grass.  
  
One-by-one you said your goodbyes. You held each of them in your arms and apologized for all of the pain you and Pennywise had caused them, which irritated your mate. You could never take back what the two of you had done to them, but you had hoped that your plan would at least help alleviate some of the torture that they had endured.  
  
Saying goodbye to Richie was harder than you expected. You sobbed into his shoulder, expressing your sorrow for the loss of his family-- his mom, his sister, yourself, and of course, Eddie. He was left alone in the world for so long. You had hoped that he would find someone to love him as fully as he deserved.  
  
Kissing his cheek, you thanked him for holding onto your humanity for as long as he did, even when the others tried convincing him otherwise. He didn’t give up on you, even when the rest of the group had sensed that you were no longer the girl that they remembered. His loyalty knew no bounds, and you had hoped that he would never lose that part of himself.  
  
Giving him one last hug, knowing that this would probably be the last time you would ever see him, you lay him gently back down onto the grass before joining your mate who was watching you intently. He lifted his hand to your cheek, wiping away the remaining tears with his thumb. “Are you finished?”.  
  
Swallowing thickly, you nodded your head. “Yeah. I think I’m finally ready to let go.”  
  
Together, the two of you once again levitated the Losers just long enough to transport them across the town border, placing them on the other side of the pasture.  
  
“Tell me again?” Back in the caverns, Pennywise had disclosed what would happen to the humans if they left Derry, but you needed to be reassured.  
  
“Their memories of us will be gone, and eventually their recollection of Derry in itself will fade from their mind. They will no longer feel the burden of returning to Derry to protect the town from what once haunted them. They will live long and happy lives until old age takes them back to the weeds.”  
  
Resting your head on his shoulder, you gripped his hand in yours while a stray tear rolled down your cheek. “So what happens when they wake up? They won’t try to come back into town? I mean, we kind of just left them in a random field.”  
  
He chuckled, the feeling of his laugh comforting you as you pressed against him. “The Deadlights will keep them in a daze for the next day or two--however long it takes for them to return to their prior homes and their familiar lives.”  
  
“Wait, you made the changes though, right?” you pressed, narrowing your eyes at him.  
  
Clenching his jaw and nodding his head, he replied through gritted teeth. “Bill will have a thriving relationship with his wife and excel in his writing career. Beverly will leave her abusive husband and she and Ben will find each other. Mike will travel to Florida to live the life he had always wanted, and Richie will have a family when he finds someone worthy of him.”  
  
“You promise? No tricks?”  
  
Peering down at you, he smirked-- not in his usual mischievous way, but in an amused way instead. “I promise.”  
  
Nuzzling into his side, you kissed his shoulder before murmuring softly, “Thank you.”  
  
He hummed happily, wrapping his arm around you before saying, “Let’s go home.”  
  
Stealing one final glance of the humans you had come to love for so long, you then closed your eyes and felt the familiar pressure surrounding you and your mate before returning to the Neibolt House. What was once a terrifying structure was now a welcoming sight.  
  
Immediately, you plopped down on the mattress that Pennywise had previously supplied upstairs. Falling back onto it, you let your mind wander, trying to decide how you were going to spend your days going forward now that you didn’t have the Losers to keep the two of you entertained.  
  
Something was nagging at you. You should have been happy knowing that the humans you cared about were going to be taken care of -- and you were, but there was something else making you feel… incomplete.

“Something’s wrong,” you thought aloud. In less than a millisecond, Pennywise was next to you on the mattress, eyeing you with concern. You released a breathy chuckle at his protectiveness before reaching to cup his cheek with your hand. “Calm down, it’s not that serious. I’m just… I don’t know… feeling like something’s missing.”  
  
“Hunger,” he prompted. “It has been too long since you’ve eaten. We need to hunt.”  
  
“Hmm,” you hummed thoughtfully. “No, I don’t think it’s that. I mean, granted, yeah, I could eat, but it’s something else…”

Pennywise had rested his large hand on your stomach as he leaned into you, inhaling deeply to see if he could smell anything that was off about you. That’s when you knew.  
  
Placing a hand over his own on your belly, you used your other hand to pull him closer to kiss him deeply. Parting your mouth, you welcomed his skilled tongue as it toyed with your own. “Penn,” you mumbled against his flushed lips. “Breed me.” 

He stilled his movement immediately, hesitating for a moment until he backed off and searched your eyes with his own curious blue ones. You could feel him slipping into your subconscious to see if you truly meant what you were saying.  
  
Winking at him, you sat up to slowly and seductively removed your shirt. It would be easier to just dissolve the clothes away, but you knew that Pennywise liked the show. However, this time, he apparently wasn’t having it.  
  
Before you could even attempt to stop him, he tore the remaining clothes off of your body in the blink of an eye, already mouthing and licking his way down from your neck to your belly.

“You’re not wasting any time, are you?” He growled playfully at your remark, giving you a particularly hard nip at your skin. You couldn’t help but giggle at his eagerness.  
  
Parting your legs, he settled between them, holding your hips down with his strong and muscular arms as his tongue delved into your heat, vibrating urgently against your clit. Your hands reached for his hair, entangling your fingers in the dark strands as you bucked eagerly against his face.  
  
He held your hips down with more force, keeping you in place while he continued his assault on your cunt. Not long after, you saw movement out of the corner of your eye. Focusing on it, you realized that Pennywise had sprouted his tentacles, knowing how much you had come to enjoy them.  
  
A needy whine escaped your throat as you mentally begged him for more. Not in the mood to tease, the tentacles crawled up your legs to your core and penetrated you, curving slightly to hit that delicious spot inside of you.  
  
“Fuck! Mnph, yes, babe. Just like that. Please…” A mess of words, curses, and begs fell from your lips as his tentacles and tongue made you squirm. You desperately ached for him, and knew that you wouldn’t last much longer with the way he was reading you and knew exactly where to touch you to make you scream. 

Shortly after, you reached your first climax, fluid gushing out of you as Pennywise continued to suck and fuck you through it while your whole body shook and convulsed. Orgasms as a human had never felt this incredible. It was no wonder Pennywise was so taken aback by the pleasure he discovered when the two of you had sex for the first time. He had improved immensely since then. 

Still shaking, he retracted his tentacles and slowly crawled his way up your body. He planted a kiss on your lips before moving down to suck and bite the crook of your neck.  
  
Catching him off-guard, you sunk your claws into his shoulders, forcing him on his back as you straddled him. It was your turn to tear off his clothes, which you did so effortlessly.  
  
Grinding yourself against him, you felt his hardness press into your folds as you coated his cock in your slick. He released a wanton moan while throwing his head back, fighting his instincts to pin you down and fuck you senseless… which, if you were being honest with yourself, wouldn’t be the worst thing. 

“Are you going to be a good boy for me?” you teased, knowing how much he hated being in a submissive position.  
  
He bared his teeth at you, his eyes flashing yellow in warning to indicate his intolerance.  
  
Completely unphased, you giggled, leaning down to suck on his bottom lip before biting down harshly as you sat up, savoring the taste of his blood on your tongue.  
  
He sucked on his injured lip as he watched you in awe, his chest rising and falling quickly with his shallow and impatient breaths.  
  
Finally giving in to what he wanted, you gripped his thick, meaty cock, giving it a couple of pumps and running your thumb over the slit, smearing his precum. A tendril wriggled out of the tip and began curling around your finger, desperate for contact. Lining yourself up, you quickly sunk down onto him, causing the both of you to release a groan of satisfaction. 

He held your hips tightly as he lifted your body so that he could draw back a few inches, only to thrust into you with such force that if he wouldn’t have been holding onto you, you would have gone flying.  
  
“Wait, Penn, please. Just… let me take control for a minute.” You could tell that he was ravenous and didn’t want to wait another moment, but he did. He would do anything for you.  
  
Sighing with relief as he was no longer pummeling into your core, you grabbed his hands that were once resting on your hips and entangled your fingers together. He watched in fascination as you pinned his hands on each side of his head, giving you leverage to lean down and lick a strip up his full lips that you couldn’t seem to get enough of.  
  
The impatient creature adjusted his hips, hoping to earn more friction from you. Not one to keep him waiting, you started to ride him. With each lunge, you gyrated your hips, earning more needy whines from your mate.  
  
You hummed happily, cherishing the intense look of pleasure on his gorgeous human face, his plump lips trembling as they hung open in a silent scream of euphoria. “That feels good, doesn’t it?” you breathed, keeping your pace slow and steady.  
  
He didn’t respond at first, causing you to clench your insides around him. Scrunching his eyes shut, he nodded feverishly, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he tried to keep his composure.  
  
“Are you gonna put a baby in me?” you teased, giving a slightly more powerful nudge to emphasize your words.  
  
Again, he nodded, seemingly at a loss for words.  
  
“Then do it.”  
  
His eyes darkened at that, sensing your surrender as you slowed, relinquishing yourself to him. He maneuvered his hands around to grab your wrists, flipping you over so that he could have the control that he wanted.  
  
He took a moment to inspect your face, his eyes searching yours while he radiated adoration. The pads of his fingers swept over your forehead, pushing back some of the hair that had fallen over your eyes as you switched positions.  
  
Leaning down, he tenderly licked the side of your cheek, pressing a soft kiss to your temple before he whispered, “You are my world.” 

With that, he slid inside you, the ends of his mouth curling into a pleased grin at the way your jaw unhinged in a quiet cry as he stretched you. It seemed that in the short amount of time that he wasn’t sheathed inside of you, he increased his size, making sure to emphasize the spots he knew would bring you the most pleasure as he filled you to the hilt.

Your walls spasmed around him as you immediately adjusted to the size, releasing a pathetic, breathy whine as you dug your nails into the back of his arms to steady yourself.

Releasing a sensual moan, he then jerked his hips back before thrusting all the way inside once again, his hands trembling as he held your waist tightly in his grasp.

From his intense expression, it appeared as though he was trying his hardest to maintain a stoic disposition, but you knew better than that. It seemed like he would sometimes forget that you could see into his mind. He appeared to be breaking down from the feeling of your welcoming cunt, pulsating and vibrating around him, practically begging for his seed.  
  
He released another breathy moan, which almost made you cum on the spot. “A-are you just-- oh god-- gonna fuck me, or are y-you going to _ breed _ me?” you taunted breathlessly.  
  
His fingers dug harder into the meat of your upper thighs as a warning as he began to pound into you ruthlessly, fueled by your words and reducing you to a shaking, writhing mess below him. At that point you were so wet that his length slid in and out of you in perfect, fluid motions and without any resistance. Still, you wanted more. You wanted him to wreck you and to properly claim you. You’d never experienced such intense, unbridled ecstasy in your life before you found him, and you were willing to give everything to him if it meant you’d be able to feel only a second of it again.

His eyes were sealed shut as he struggled to maintain his movement. His smooth, porcelain skin was flushed, just as it would be if he were actually human. He was gorgeous in every form, but this one was different… maybe because it reflected your true form. He was an Adonis-- god-like and seemingly too beautiful for any creature to have for themselves. He was an alluring predator.  
  
Without thinking, you brought your hand up to caress his face, swooning at the way he absentmindedly leaned into your touch, starved for affection that he never even knew he needed -- or wanted for that matter.

Your walls spasmed around his cock, aching for his load as your body prepared itself for another explosion of pleasure. The coil in your stomach slowly unraveled until it finally snapped, eliciting another euphoric orgasm.  
  
Your climax coaxed out his seed, causing him to tremble as you distinctly felt the tendril at the end of his cock lengthen and wrap itself around the eggs in your womb. Pennywise shortly thereafter released his thick load, traveling through your cervix and fertilizing the eggs you kept safe inside of you.  
  
Spurt after spurt he filled you, not wasting a single drop as it warmed your insides, cradling each egg and seeping into the exterior, creating new life.  
  
Peering down at you, Pennywise wiped a tear that you hadn’t realized was falling down your cheek. In your mind you practically begged him to tell you that he loved you, but he shook his head.  
  
Smirking at your bemused expression, he answered aloud, “‘Love’ is a human word. It does not compare to how I feel about you.” Then, instead of telling you, he let you experience it in return. It was warm, inviting, and enveloped itself around your entire form in a blanket of adoration, passion, and longing. He was right. Love didn’t even come close to it. In fact, there wasn’t a single word in any human language that could capture it, and you were okay with that. More than okay.  
  
Choking out a sob, you beamed at him, feeling more happy and content than you ever had.  
  
“Is this going to last?” you asked, lovingly stroking his hair. “Is it really going to be like this forever?”  
  
A genuine smile graced his lips as he leaned down to kiss you once again. When he drew back, you noticed that his smile reached his eyes, which it hardly ever did, making them crinkle endearingly, indicating his elation. “Yes. Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, guys! One chapter left of the series!


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final part of the What Lies Beneath series.

The remainder of your year was everything you had hoped for. You and your mate kept yourselves busy with hunting, eating, making love, and tending to your pregnancy. Pennywise was just as inexperienced to the situation as you were, so it was just as new and terrifying for him as it was for you.    
  
As your belly grew, the more you felt the babies inside of you. It didn’t take long to discover that it was going to be a live birth rather than laying eggs. That surprised you considering they were originally eggs when they were placed inside of you, but you weren’t complaining. It was oddly comforting to be able to feel the life growing inside of you.    
  
At one point, one of the creatures had kicked you. It wasn’t abnormal for children to move around in the womb, but this time it was surprisingly powerful, and you felt a twinge of pain. Immediately sensing your fleeting distress, Pennywise was on top of you, baring his teeth at your stomach and growling ferociously.    
  
Forcing him to back off, you eventually convinced him that you were fine, but it was flattering to see him so willing to protect you even from his own children. You had thought for sure that when you became pregnant, they would become the most important thing in the world to him, but as it turns out, it was still you. He was such an enigma and it was exhausting trying to figure him out.    
  
When the end of your year was approaching, the two of you became weak and tired, eventually settling down together for your hibernation. He wrapped you closely in his arms and nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, purring softly with contentment. You kissed his shoulder softly and whispered, “I’ll see you soon,” before drifting off into a deep sleep.   
  
With that, the world experienced another era of peace, happiness, and blissful ignorance. For twenty-seven years, the town of Derry knew no sorrow, no danger, and no fear.    
  


* * *

  
You awoke in agony -- an excruciating pain unlike anything that you had ever experienced, and that included transforming from a human into the creature you had become.   
  
It was the sound of your own screams that pulled you out from the darkness and back to the world of the living, no longer submerged within your several-decade-long slumber.    
  
A wet sensation lining your neck alerted you to the fact that Pennywise was also awake, and he was offering himself as a distraction of any kind. Absentmindedly, you dug your claws into his arms, drawing blood as you continued making ungodly sounds of anguish while your body contorted and shifted to prepare for the birth of your offspring.    
  
After what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes later, you felt the pressure in your pelvis, indicating the arrival of your first child. Pennywise slithered down and positioned himself between your legs, holding them apart to keep you from closing them instinctively from the pain.    
  
Just as you felt like you were about to burst, Pennywise unhinged his jaw and exposed his Deadlights, drawing you into their hypnotic, spellbinding glimmer. Tears stained your cheeks as you forced a smile, taking a deep breath before conjuring your own Deadlights.    
  
Surprisingly, the action dulled the pain and took you out of your own head for a moment. However, the reprieve was short-lived as your spawn traveled through your cervix and finally emerged into the world.    
  
It was… breathtaking. Peering down over your belly, you were able to see your child for the first time, and it was… not what you expected. It wasn’t a human, or a monster, or a spider, or any of the things you had imagined. It was a light. A single, glowing light, radiating a warm glow.    
  
Pennywise looked like he was about to faint. His eyes were the size of golf balls and his mouth hung open in shock. You would have laughed had you not so suddenly been hit with another wave of agony.    
  
Oh no. Not again. It wasn’t over.    
  
The process continued twice more, declaring you and Pennywise the proud parents of three glowing orbs. That’s when it occurred to you… 

They were Deadlights. You had given birth to your very own infant Deadlights. They were so small in comparison to the ones that floated above the impact site in the caverns where Pennywise had landed on Earth so many years ago.   
  
As you recovered while your wounds slowly healed themselves, Pennywise cautiously touched one of the spheres. A tiny squeak was emitted from the ball before it rubbed itself up against Pennywise’s open palm, nuzzling there in contentment. Pennywise gawked at it for a moment before staring up at you, a dumbfounded look on his face. He clearly didn’t know what to do with it.   
  
Grinning, you motioned for him to pass the orb to you. As Pennywise started to hand it off, the others followed suit, all of them finding their way into your arms so that they could be cradled against your chest.    
  
Just as you were settling down, the lights began to shake violently. Pennywise released a snarl, which was his automatic response to anything unknown that was a possible threat to you. Holding up your hand to calm him and to demand that he give you and the lights some space, he begrudgingly backed off.    
  
The orbs began to twist and morph, forming into a shape that shook you to your core. The next thing you knew, you were holding three very human-like babies in your arms. Two boys and one girl.   
  
Baffled, you inspected them as they stared up at you with their beautiful blue eyes, just like their father -- and yet, they still looked like you. It was immediately evident what a perfect blend they were between your true form and Pennywise’s human form.    
  
Tears streamed down your face as you inhaled a shaky breath, leaning down to kiss them all on their heads while nestling them in your arms. You had been so afraid of how you would feel about your own offspring -- worried that you would despise them or fear them, but it was the opposite. You loved them. Deeply.    
  
The babies suddenly began to cry, snapping you out of your love-induced haze. You had assumed that meant that they were hungry. Reaching for your breast to feed them, Pennywise placed a hand on your arm, shaking his head. “They’re not hungry for that,” he insisted. 

Instead, he grasped your arm, turning it over so that your palm was face up. As soon as the tender side of your arm was exposed, all three babies latched onto your forearm, their fangs penetrating your skin so that they could suck on the blood beneath the surface.   
  
“Oh!” you gasped, acclimating to the strange sensation of three tiny mouths sucking on your skin. “Huh. I should have known that they’d prefer blood over anything else.”    
  
Pennywise was trying his best to hide a smile as he got up and looked you over. “You need to feed,” he insisted. “Stay with them.” Before you even had a chance to protest, he was gone, tracking down some unsuspecting victim to consume.    
  
In the time that he was gone, you bonded with your babies, already impressed by how smart they were. Though they looked like human infants, they had the reflexes and instincts of an animal. They were already attempting to crawl and explore, which baffled you considering they were born less than an hour ago. Caring for them was not going to be like raising humans at all.    
  
Pennywise returned later, hauling a large, unconscious man over his shoulder. Giving your mate a welcoming peck on the lips, you thanked him for bringing back some food. You hadn’t realized how hungry you actually were until you smelled the human flesh. “Do you think we should siphon off some blood for the kids?” you asked.    
  
He shook his head. “They’re too young for pure human blood. They will need to drink from our own veins until they’re old enough to join us on hunts.”    
  
“ _ Our _ veins?” you questioned, quirking your brow.    
  
He flashed a toothy grin as he approached one of the babies, picking him up and holding out his arm just as he did with you. The baby immediately latched on and drank greedily from him, not wasting a single drop as it flowed from the wound.    
  
You watched in fascination, relieved that feeding three children didn’t fall directly to you. “Raising young for our kind is dissimilar than humans,” he murmured, reading your bewildered expression. “Both parents take responsibility for ensuring our young are nourished. We’re equal.”    
  
Equal. He had never used that term to describe the two of you. In fact, during your prior arguments, he insisted that you would  _ never  _ be his equal. His ego was too huge to allow that kind of talk. However, now that the Losers were gone and you were the mother of his children, subsequently making you forever and unequivocally  _ his _ , he could let his guard down, admitting what he never would before.    
  
“Eat,” he demanded, sitting on the ground to allow the baby easier access to his blood. His posture suddenly became rigid when he saw the other two infants eagerly crawling towards him, making you giggle. He narrowed his eyes at you, swallowing thickly as the kids reached him, inspecting him curiously. To see him so nervous was downright adorable.    
  
Within seconds, they were cradled in his lap, perfectly content and happy. “Well, it’s clear they know who their dad is,” you teased, trying to hide your amusement regarding Pennywise’s obvious discomfort.    
  
He released a low growl in response, which intrigued the babies. They immediately began to imitate him, growling softly, which came out as cute little grumbles. Pennywise’s shocked expression nearly had you in stitches as you finally relented and laughed boisterously at his reaction.    
  
The four of them kept themselves busy as you viciously tore into your meal, ignoring the slightly ashy and bitter taste. There was a hint of flavor, which must have meant that Pennywise terrorized the man before he fell unconscious, leaving behind a sliver of fear, which you gobbled up gratefully.    
  
When you were finished eating, you lay beside your family, feeling satisfied and at peace. Pennywise had been keeping them entertained by bringing them odd trinkets that he had collected from his victims over the years. He had plenty of toys to choose from, which made you cringe thinking of all of the children he had taken over the years that had left their belongings behind. Regardless, there was no taking it back.    
  
Later that night, you and your mate snuggled with your babies, feeding them together, side-by-side in your nest. You had no idea that you could ever be this happy, and you never wanted it to end.    
  


* * *

  
Months had passed since the birth of your children and every moment with them was a new and thrilling experience, even when they drove the two of you crazy. Oh, make no mistake, they were little terrors. With each passing day they became more intelligent and curious, which wasn’t always the greatest thing when you and Pennywise were trying to fly under the radar.    
  
At one point, the three little suckers had snuck out of the caverns while you and Pennywise had been resting, causing a commotion by shapeshifting into zombies after Pennywise had let them watch Resident Evil. They fell in love with the movie immediately, sharing the same twisted sense of humor as their dad.    
  
Luckily, Pennywise had the ability to wipe everyone’s memory and restore the town to its previous state before your kids wreaked havoc and caused a city-wide panic, securing their anonymity once again. 

However, even with all of the stress, it was worth it. Pennywise had taken to them easier than you thought he would, and he was just as attached as you were. One of your favorite pastimes was watching Pennywise play with them. He enjoyed shape-shifting and watching them imitate him in whatever form he took, whether it was objects, animals, or people. He adored them, and you couldn’t help but melt watching them interact.    
  
After things had settled down and you and Pennywise established your own routine with your new family, you checked in on your old friends. Just as Pennywise had promised, they were happy. 

Bill became a massively successful writer and film producer. He had a family of his own, including a beautiful wife and son named Georgie. Now an old man, he was living out the rest of his days with his family in sunny California as a retired author.    
  
Beverly and Ben had found each other shortly after they were sent away from Derry and spent their remaining years traveling the world together. They never had kids, but they were more than enough for each other and were obviously very much in love. Ben even had a famous building named after Bev that he designed, which was now the tallest building in New York City. It was beyond romantic.    
  
Mike established a great life for himself down in Florida. He fell in love, got married, and had tons of kids. He lived a humble and quiet life near the beach, which you were sure was Heaven in comparison to the way he spent the first half of his life, living in a constant state of fear and anxiety. Sadly, Mike had passed away about seven years ago. He went peacefully in his sleep on a warm Autumn evening.    
  
Richie had become a reputable stand-up comedian and spent the better part of fifteen years touring with his routines. During that time, he and his manager became particularly close, eventually falling hard for one another. After finally finding someone to put up with his trash mouth, Richie proposed. He and his husband adopted two kids before retiring his act and raising his family in New York City, where they would occasionally spend time with Ben and Beverly.    
  
Though none of the Losers could recall their last epic journey together in Derry in their attempt to defeat you and your mate, Pennywise made sure to let them keep the good memories they had of each other during childhood. When the others had found out about Stanley and Eddie’s passing, which had been fabricated to look like they had both been the victims of suicide, the Losers created a foundation in their name to help those who struggled with anxiety and depression. It was a great way to honor two of the most amazing people that you had ever met.    
  
It had been everything that you had hoped for and more for the kids who helped you find your path. You had owed them so much, and it made you happy to see where their lives had ended up. Admittedly, you were sad that you had such little time with them, but you knew that it was for the best. 

A few months into your new life as a parent, on one particularly restless day, you were groaning to Pennywise about how you wanted to have a date night, to which he responded with an unattractive snort.    
  
“Come on!” you whined, pouting dramatically. “Can’t you romance me for just one night?”    
  
“We mate nearly every day,” he countered salaciously. “Multiple times a day.”   
  
Rolling your eyes, you replied. “Don’t play dumb. Romance isn’t just about sex, Penn. You know that. I want to go  _ out _ ! I want to be around people!” 

Yet again, he ignored your pleas, watching the kids with a slight smirk tugging on his lips.    
  
“How about a dinner date?” you suggested. Immediately his eyes flickered back to you, his interest piqued. “I’m actually really hungry. We can indulge if you want. Ever had buffet style?”    
  
Peering into your mind, Pennywise’s eyes widened. He had never considered anything like what you were suggesting, but he was immediately on-board. You could sense it.    
  
Not waiting for a response, you smiled and kissed him excitedly, bouncing up and down on your feet eagerly. “Yes! Let’s go before you change your mind,” you pressed, practically shoving him in the direction of the way out.    
  
Turning to your kids, you said, “Be good, babes. We’ll be back in a couple of hours. Do  _ not  _ \-- yeah, I’m talking to you, Richard. Hey! Don’t give me that face. Like I said, do  _ not  _ leave the sewers. Do you understand me?”    
  
Your children had been named after people who had the biggest impact on your life. Richard, Sara, and Robert. Pennywise wasn’t exactly thrilled with the names, but he wasn’t the one who went through agonizing labor, so he didn’t fight you much on it.    
  
All three of your children nodded in agreement, though Richie had a shit-eating grin on his face. It was always a gamble with him. He was definitely the troublemaker. No surprise there.    
  
It was crazy to you that they were only a few months old and yet they already looked like they were five. Even more insane was that they had the discipline of a teenager. They were like puppies, incredibly intelligent with a short attention span.    
  
They were perfectly capable of being left alone, so long as you and Pennywise established ground rules. There was also the fact that if ever a mistake was made or they exposed their true selves, Pennywise held the entire town in the palm of his hand and could alter people’s perceptions of your family, eradicating any suspicion.    
  
Still, it was just easier to stay off of their radar -- at least until the kids were older and had a better sense of how to blend in with the citizens of Derry. You had absolutely no idea what they were going to be like as they got older. Would they share the same humanitarian values as you had, or would they find satisfaction in tormenting unsuspecting humans? It worried you, sure, but you were also excited to see who they would become. They were already pretty great. 

After you gave the kids kisses and hugs, you and Pennywise scurried out of the cave and made your way toward the bad part of town, which had become your favorite place to visit when the two of you were hungry. The stench of evil and self-loathing was thick in the air, and the two of you ate it up.    
  
Derry was never in short-supply of scummy human beings. Due to the fact that there were now five of you and the children would eventually have a taste for human flesh, it was an indisputable fact that far more people would go missing than the few that Pennywise himself would take every twenty-seven years. Knowing that would be the case, he used his influence to convince several local law enforcement agencies to send their most vile, delinquent, and derelict felons to Derry’s established criminal neighborhood, Holiday Park, when they were out on parole. No one ever questioned it when any of them went missing because no one wanted them in the first place. It wasn’t perfect, but it was what you could live with. 

In the heart of the neighborhood was a restaurant where the local convicts gathered. It was a dingy, run-down shack of a place, but they didn’t seem to mind. It deterred any locals and law enforcement, leaving them to their criminal activities undisturbed.    
  
The patrons eyed you and Pennywise suspiciously as you entered and immediately sat at a table in the booth farthest back. Luckily for you, even in his human form Pennywise was incredibly intimidating. You weren’t sure if it was his height, his cold stare, or just his threatening aura, but people tended to avoid the two of you when you were together. 

Ignoring the glares and unhappy murmurs of everyone else in the restaurant, the two of you settled in, facing one another excitedly. After sitting in silence for a moment, Pennywise took your hands in his and lifted them to his lips where he kissed them gently, a smile tugging on his lips.    
  
Reciprocating his grin, you asked, “Are you happy?”    
  
A bit taken aback, he replied, “Yes. I am. Aren’t you?”    
  
“Of course I am,” you assured him, putting him at ease. “I honestly didn’t know that I could feel like this. I have everything that I didn’t even know I wanted. I’m yours forever.”    
  
Pennywise often dismissed the intimacy of human language since it didn’t seem to capture what he truly felt. Instead of saying ‘I love you’, the two of you decided that ‘I’m yours’ better portrayed your inner adoration for one another.    
  
He flashed his teeth in a wide smile, which to the average person would seem sinister, but you knew that he was genuinely pleased. “You have given me everything,” he cooed, melting your heart. “I am yours always.”    
  
Sitting up across the table, the two of you met in the middle for a deep kiss. Carding your fingers through his hair, his thumb caressed your cheek as he cupped your face, running his tongue along your bottom lip to taste you.    
  
Ignoring the salacious and inappropriate comments from the onlookers, the two of you sat back down, dazed from the heat of the kiss.    
  
Clearing his throat and straightening out his jacket, Pennywise smirked as he asked, “Are you ready?” 

“Ready when you are,” you replied eagerly.    
  
With that, Pennywise stood up and began walking towards the front. Just then, one of the men who had been sitting a few tables down approached you and grumbled, “Did your friend change his mind?”    
  
Peering into his mind, you could see all of the horrible secrets he kept locked away. He had been caught and sentenced for some of his heinous acts, but there were many more that he had never been convicted of. He was a sorry excuse for a human being, as were the rest of the patrons in the place.    
  
“Tell you what,” he continued after you didn’t respond, leaning in to speak quietly. “If you’re looking for some better company, I’d be happy to show you a good time. How’s about I sit here and you find your way under this table and put those pretty lips to use.”    
  
You hummed thoughtfully in response before replying flirtatiously, “Sounds like a plan to me.”    
  
Slightly bewildered, the man wasted no time before sitting across from you and reaching to unbuckle his pants. “I hope you’re hungry, toots.”    
  
A dangerous smile graced your lips as you narrowed your eyes. “Starved.” 

Your eyes then flickered to your mate who was standing by the front door, waiting for your signal. The moment you winked at him, he smirked back in return before reaching for the deadbolt and turning it, locking the door and breaking the hand-piece off to seal your victims inside to meet their horrific end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a wild ride this has been. Thank you to everyone who came and went during the last two and a half years while I wrote this series. I am humbled to have received so much positive feedback for a series that was only supposed to be a three-chapter porn without plot story. You all encouraged me to turn it into what it is today. 
> 
> That said... I’m not a professional writer by any means. Honestly, I’m surprised that people even find this readable, but it’s been wonderful to write. I am truly grateful to have had the opportunity to speak with some incredible people whom I never would have talked to had it not been for this story. You guys took the time to express how you felt about it, and it’s difficult to put into words how amazing that made me feel. 
> 
> Anyway, it’s been real, guys. I hope you’ve enjoyed this series. Thanks for making it worthwhile. 
> 
> Cheers.


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